you might be a hotrodder if....(humor)

Your wife threatens you with a divorce if she stumps her toe again on the flathead intake that somehow keeps creeping out from under the bed.

 

and those are Models built from KITS, junkboxes, yard sale finds, NOT prepainted/assembled diecast.....

everything you see at the flea market fits in a "dotted line" in your mind as to where it could go on a car.....

you'd rather build your own shop/shed from steel rack supports than buy a cheapass pressboard one from Home Depot... to keep all the stuff in that you used to have to search through 4 different car trunks for!

 

Your wifes new car sits out in the snow all winter,cause you have another new project you just have to finish before spring.

 

I'm trying to post pics, but I think I need to restart this F#%*?+)(&%^$#$ computer.

If your non-automotive friends at your favorite watering hole call you crankshaft.
If the boneheaded want to be manager at work overhears "You might want to pick up a few mags or subscribe to get a few more idea pictures" thinks your running a side business on HIS time.
If you can recognize real car parts because of model kits you've built.
If you can wear a race event, car show, rod shop, parts manufacturer shirt every day for three months without wearing any of them twice.

 

True story:

While at a Tires Plus for a new set, my 3-year-old twin girls run over to a stack of new tires, take a long whiff, smile and say, "Beautiful...!" to each other. Then they run over to grab me to do the same. Makes me believe 110% that there's some of me in there after all.

Sometimes I think they like to go see mommy at work because she works next to Michelin Aircraft Tire... now THAT smells BEAUTIFUL.

~Jason

 

You have your wife get out and push so you can pop the clutch to get your car started.

 

You"re under the car with grease on your hands and no rag within arms reach...

"Here boy!!!"

Problem solved...

 

...You read through this and think.."Wow, I don't have it as bad as I thought."
Or worse, call the wife over to show her there are worse cases out there than you.

 

Your wife thinks you are constipated because a trip to the bathroom usually takes an hour.

 

You might be a hot rodder if:

You name your car.

You give it a guy's name so your wife won't get jealous of the time you spend with it.

You have a secret name for your car.

 

You've stranded yourself at your house because you just HAD to rebuild the engien in your only running car .

you have pinstriped your computer

your doorbell is an actual car horn.

 

...if you take the points of this list that don´t apply to you as a to-do list

 

You navigate a town you have lived in for 22 years by classic cars and when the 66 Chevy was gone, you got lost for 15 min. my wife says that I have done 90% of these

 

You have modified your blender (gas motor)
you have modified your gorge Forman (bigger hinges with hotter heating elements)
you got a free chest freezer and thought how cool would this thing look flat black next to my hot rod. btw it looks kick ass!
you ask every one you know to keep a look out for a round top fridge to do the same with... (if you live in Nebraska and know of one pm me please!)
Your tool box had a car radio in it before they came out with them. then that was not enough so you added runners.

 

you get dragged to the naturopath who cant figure out why they find paint thinner in your system
You've actually drunk petrol when syphoning a fuel tank
A 20 minute round trip is successful if nothing falls off

Inspecting welds at shopping centres ... bloody funny, busted doing that yesterday.

 

When you go house hunting with your wife and the garage is the most important thing.
I actually told my wife once that i would like a garage with a house attached to it...

 

You do like I did today and buy a weird looking console at a garage sale for $10 just because it has a 4spd shift pattern on it.

Later you find out it is a pretty rare 68 Buick GS bench seat console worth about $500 and slap it on e-bay!

Being a rodder isn't always about DUMB stuff we do!!

 

You get in trouble for painting quater panels that are hanging on the clothes line before removing the summery fresh bed sheets...

 

Or cars. (Riley Hudson).

Jay

 

You mean they weren't there for masking paper after all? The wife shouldn't be useing masking tape instaed of clothes pins then! hahahaha!

 

you know someone who painted a car with a FLIT gun.....
or you did it yourself.
you've caught a screwdriver rolling across the hood while you're doing 45 up the street in front of your house; and your wife just stares at you....
your wife loses the keys to her Oldsmobile and you rig a bootlegger switch to start the car instead of getting new keys cut....

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA............ Been there..

 

I usetahave a different approach to that...when I had to actually buy something new at the Chevy dealer, I would go to my rack of parts catalogs and invent a hypothetical Corvette or whatever that carried the part I wanted. That ended the crap from the idiot counter guy...

 

Yeah..."You Might Be..." if you have purchased several vise grips over the years to replace ones that have become permanent working parts on your cars...

 

Your wife get's excited when you turn around to admire another woman's ass and not a car's.

Your wife clears out spiders and brings a blanket to throw across the bench set in the garage so she can spend more time with you.

Your mother in law gives you a motor repair manual for 1940-through 1954 Domestic cars for Christmas, and everyone can't understand why you're smiling with tears in your eyes at the same time, and you secretly wished they understood that that greasy old book means more to you than all the new sweaters, socks, hats, and home depot gift certificates combined.

You've become the go-to car guy at the office, and will gladly drop everything to go out in the rain or snow to diagnose and repair a relatively simple electrical problem with a coworkers car. You're that same guy who also gets a glazed look when someone attempts to share their automotive enthusiasm by describing the handling aspects of their Subaru.

You somehow manage to afford various knick-knacks and parts for a car that's not even on the road, but registering and inspecting your daily driver keeps slipping your mind and when you've remembered for the umpteenth time, you've already spent all your money on those parts ... again.

You've trained your wife to spot tin on her long drive to work, and tell you about it, but still have not convinced her that you love her more than the cars. "I really do, babe, just in a different way."

You braved the mud, slush and ice on crutches with a busted leg to accompany friends out into the back 40 of an old wrecking yard because you didn't want to miss the chance to see and get some new stuff you can't afford, much less lift by yourself, and everyone understands ... except your wife and the doctor who wonders why your leg is so slow to heal.

Walking into the tires store and being assaulted by that first waft of new rubber makes you horny for unexplainable reasons.

You can sit in your brand new project with the mice and spiders and just phase out for hours despite rusty springs tearing into your ass and back.

You finally put a grease stain into your new blue jeans and officialy relegate them to "garage wear" and it doesn't bother you.

You realize you've got so much "garage wear" that you have no choice but to wear them to work anyway and it has become acceptable for you to look like a greaseball and it does not reflect poorly on your performance review under the appearnace category because you suspect it has something to do with giving your boss car advice earlier that year (As of yesterday, this was the case).

 

I am laughing so hard I'm crying!!!!!!!!! I can remember seeing my dad do some of these things and my mom nagging him about it all. Such good stuff!! The part I love is that 99.99% of all this comes from true life experiences.

From my dad and mom's stories...

You might be a hotrodder if you have to use a flathead aluminum intake as a TV antenna. Yea, antenna by Wiend!

 

Your aunt rescheduled her wedding because there was a car show on the initial date.

Your granddad can't remember when his kids birthdays are, but he knows everything about the cars that they came home from the hospital in.

You bought a car just for the horn button.

You have to recount how many cars you own once a month, to keep the number current.

On your 10th birthday, you and your buddies got together and disassembled a Studebaker flathead 6.

If you own a car with an automatic, you always manually shift it from low to drive.

You're the only kid in your high school with a flathead and a 3 speed on the column. And if the shifter doesn't confuse all the kids enough, the electric overdrive surely does.

You have T-10 4 speeds laying in your shop, with Hurst shifters on them, ready to go.

The most beautiful music you've ever heard is the whine of a McCullough blower combined with the exhaust note of a Studebaker V8 with an R3 cam.

(OK, maybe these only apply to me. )

 

When on hunting trips you spend more time sniffing out old relics than actually shooting birds, and end the day happier than if you had your limit.

 

if you are lying in bed watching TV and she's crocheting,and you are building a wiring harness, and she doesn't even blink. or you have more car parts and pieces in your house then furniture.

 

COUNT the cars? i TRIED. i can neither remember each one in proper order, nor can i specifically remember HOW MANY of some types i've actually had (Falcons and BMW 2002's ferinstance).... i think the count is somewhere around 160 since 1982 and my '68 Datsun 510 started it rolling. but the wife no longer minds..... she knows where i am at any given time!

and...
you might be, if... when you're stopped by strangers checking out your car, it's your WIFE who tells them the model, make, and year, and what you've done to it!