my computer needs a breathalyzer

I'm in the restaurant business and that includes a bar and some pretty late hours. It's not uncommon for me to come home to a house full of sleepers and time to do stupid things. Last night I noticed that my garage was distinctly lacking a full sized 1950's robot. I immediately sought out to rectify this grievous oversight. The weather wasn't bad so I opened the garage door and went to work doodling at the tiki bar and enjoyiing a refreshing beverage or ten.

Around 2:30AM, I heard the faint but distinctive sound a car's DIXIE horn. Knowing full well that there is only one General Lee replica in my peaceful neighborhood, I trotted three doors down to make sure everything was okay. Alas, I found my neighbor Brad, also with his garage door open, sitting on the passenger side of his Charger and playing guitar. I guessed him to be drunk and waved to him from the street. Sure enough he hoisted up a green and white gas station pony keg with a handle, intended for gratuitous amounts of coffee. I estimate that the Monster coffee cup holds somewhere north of 8000 ounces. I also assumed it wasn't coffee, although he did appear fully charged for 2:30 in the morning.

"C'mon up man!" he screams out the passenger window of his parked car. "I'm drinking Crown!", he confirmed.

Alone, I might add.

Then again, I was drinking alone too. That would make either of us problem drinkers by most standards. Joining forces and drinking together eliminated that concern by making us good neighbors with bad hours.

Sometime after three, we started talking about my 61 Imperial two door. I mentioned that my wife hates it because it's "too big". Funny, she's never said that about anything else.

Brad's eyes lit up with excitement and he quickly motioned me to follow him inside his house.

"Bullshit!", he exclaimed, "that car's not big..."

Moments later we are staring at a computer screen with proof that my 61 Imperial is indeed NOT BIG.

A few more drinks and a rousing speech from Brad that basically can be summed up with one drunken anthem..."DUDE!!!....you totally NEED that!!!"...and I became the proud new owner of a truly BIG car.

I passed my neighbor on the way to work today and he flags me down...
"Dude, he says...Did you really buy that car??? That was soooo stupid. What are you going to do with that??? You are a complete idiot!"

"And", he adds, "...Just for the record, you might have a drinking problem."

So what I am I going to do with the car that my drunken neighbor convinced me that I "totally needed"? The answer is of course...I have absolutely no idea.

He's off again tomorrow so we'll surely end up in my garage, drinking and building a robot and figuring out what to do with the TITANIC.

What are friends for huh?

 

The picture above is pilfered from another site because it's better than mine. The car is totally rust free and complete but needs paint and more. I know of at least two of them being built. This one and mine, both in the same condition. The guy has a few others in other models too. I'm not sure why.

 

All I can say is I love it................joe

 

awesome!

 

OMG!!! That just might be the coolest car I'v ever seen... Loads better than my old Checker Marathon limo.

I can just see the blower peeking thru the hood, sitting atop a 392 hemi as you cruise the neighborhood! [prolly a poly in it now tho]

It'll make the best mobile advertisement for your restaurants/bars you can imagine!

 

your golden! if you start up a band your all set to tour ..

 

mobile bar, just hire a sober driver ! offer people rides home at a price

 

Can you post pics of the Robot? I myself am a Robot enthusiast..

 

Im not sure how cool it is, but its BIG and something.

 

Where is that guy who was going to cut & stretch a Hudson?

You might be able to save him some time...

 

You could run chauffeur driven bar hopping cruises with that. Looks like it has the potential to be a fun rig to have. You could even haul the whole club to dinner at a run.

 

Didn't Fats Domino have a '58 Chrysler about like that one?

It's so big you could put a Hemi in each end of it, one in the usual place, and one in the trunk like a pusher bus motor.

 

Nice

 

Does that qualify as a more door?

 

Something that big and obvious only means one thing;
Advertising deduction

 

Well you Sir,being the owner of a Bar Business and all...shouldn't have to think (or drink) on that too much!!!! Good way to advertise your Club!!!

 

What are you goin to do with it you ask? Just get drunk again, i'm sure the answer will be revealed. great story!!

 

Good story. Are (were) you a member of POEM (Professional Organization of English Majors)? If it's any consolation, my wife HATES big cars too, and while she didn't refuse to ride in my '68 Catalina convert, she certainly made it clear she wasn't enjoying it.

That thing will certainly make everything and anything else seem small. Not everything else isn't all it should be, and more...

Brian

 

Your new robot could even sit on the roof rack and say cool things like "that does not compute" or "danger, danger Will Robinson!"

 

I thought the 'homer' was just a cartoon car.

if you can't find a business deduction with that then you need to drink more!

 

Are you kidding? That bitch is cool as Hell! The possibilities with that are endless. Get her all dolled up, lowered, skirts, Lancer hub caps, mild custom treatment and rent it out for hot rod weddings, proms, hauling drunks home at car shows..... but make sure it has rubber floor mats instead of carpet if you do the last one with it.......

 

Maybe, as good friends would do, you could have returned him the favor and 'drink' him into buying one aswell; 'nother notshort Chrysler

Too bad this one has just sold...

 

Sweeeeeet limo. What's supporting that puppy? If I remember those are unibody right? I can't wait to see more pics.

 

Scoob,

Didn't you have a vintage stretch trashed in route a few years ago - your a sick man.

 

Chryslers were full frame until '60, FWIW. That one has about two cars worth of frame -

 

Poor Ron, and your mother had such high hopes for you.

 

A Limo, Robot, that shoots Tequlia...thats what.

Similar to robosaurus, but but with a supersoaker like arm that dispenses the goods.

It would be sick...you could take it to MTV spring break and hose down entire blocks.

probabally rule almost as hard as when San Kinnison was host.

 

In NJ the limo business is going to hell; people are driving themselves, catching rides with illegal taxis, etc. The "advertising deduction" is a great idea. If you make it a limo to rent out, make sure the seats and carpeting are easily removable and make it so you can hose out the interior... people have been known to take a drink or two...

 

I had a similar situation with a 10 door 57 Chevy wagon next to a flea
market in Clearwater. Unfortunately,I sobered up before pulling the
trigger and it never happened. Let me be the first to say,You Suck....