I wrote this article, about cars, a few years ago, for my high school reunion, which is a small town, in rural in western Oklahoma, pop. 1257. There were 18 boys and 6 girls, in my cl***, of which 22 started the first grade and graduated together, and their parents did the same. I hope you farm boys, and city boys, as well, enjoy it. I am equally certain many of you can relate, and add many many events, as they did happen (to me). Remember When Top Ten 1. Your granddad hauled Model A and T bodies and frames, by the dozens, to the gullies, and dumped them to prevent further washing, Aannd they are still there, but you can't find them!!! 2. Your grandfather kept a dozen or so Model A's and T' stored in the old milk barn, for parts, to keep one of them running, Aannd your father burned the old dilapidated barn, with the cars still inside. 3. Your father followed tire tracks from his wheatfield to a small stand of trees, hiding a Model A 2-door sedan, that you and your buddies chipped in and bought it fo $80, without their permission, Aaannnd he sold it to the neighbor for $40!!! 4. Your older brother let you drive his 54 Ford HTP on Sunday, if you detailed it for him, for Saturday night. On Sunday, you took your new girlfriend and her parents to church and dinner, letting them believe it was yours. There was no AC, so you rolled down the windows, opened he air vents, Aannd a half-dozen condoms blew into the parents lap in the back seat, Aaannd you never got to go out with her again!!! 5. Your first car, at 16, was your aunt and uncles, '50 Ford Custom 4-dooor and the reason you got it was the dealer would allow them $250 on a trade-in. They had it for 11 yrs. and drove it 41K miles, Aannd after 18mo., it had 97K on it and you never had to buy gas because you were the only one with a car, except the rich kid, with his new red 1961 Impala Convertible, Aannd your buddies paid for it, or you "sneaked" from dad's tractor gas bulk tank. 6. Your dad is out to catch the tractor gas thief and the neighbor advises him to bury 2 x 12's with bridge spikes sticking up, Aannd you had to buy a new set of tires and start buying your own gas 7. Your dad tells you there will be paybacks for putting straights on you flathead and ******* off the neighbors, Aand now your neighbor's kids have three dirt bikes and race by your house at 5AM. 8. Your dad is playing with your 3-2 setup, and you ask him if he knows what he is doing. He tells you he has forgotten more about flatheads than you will ever know. You later are told your dad, who doesn't smoke, drink, or use profanity, was the original "Thunder Road" driver, bootlegging booze from New Mexico to Okla. in the hottest '39 Ford Coupe in 4 states, until he rolled it outside Lubbock, Texas, running from the law. You thought that was a long wrinkle from his lip to his ear, instead it was a scar from going through the windshield face first, Aannd, you win your first legal drag race at the strip, the next day.. 9. You chase your buddies at 110 mph to the next town, to go to the Sat. nite dance, only to discover, when he pulls over, you have been chasing the county sheriff for 17 mi. instead, Aannd you get your first speeding ticket. 10 Your dad rues the day he named you after him, when the weekly paper comes out with a list of traffic offenders, Aannnd everyone thinks it was him. EXTRAS 11. You think it would be funny to stuff a potato into the exhaust pipe of the local bachelor dentist's new '59 Eldorado, Annnd when he starts it, it blows out an 8' x10' plate gl*** window in your dad's hardware, across the street. 12. You are parked on a country road, in the back seat,with the doors open, and your feet sticking out, tapping your favorite cheerleader, on the nite before the State Championship Game, when a pickup drives by, Aannd it is your coach going out to check on his cattle. 13. Your high school science teacher buys a shiny new L'il Red Express pickup and you drop a half-dozen ping-pong balls into the gas tank, It takes the dealer three weeks to determine why it chokes and sputters at a qtr. tank level, Aannd he flunks you in science for the semester.. 14. Your dad lets you take his pickup out for the first time and to be in at 10 PM. You get in at two AM, Aannnd he is not waiting up for you, but gets you up and on the tractor, at 4 AM, three hours earlier than usual,Aannd you get the message.. OBVIOUSLY, WE HAD A LOT OF TIME TO BE CREATIVE, IN THE COUNTRY.
I am probably a charter member and have forgotten, already. Old Farts have a tendency to do that, you known.
#14 reminds me of my high school years and the fact that just everytime I went out and partied on Friday night my grandfather managed to be down at our house rolling me out of bed at 06:30 to help him do something on the farm. Either dig post holes and set up a barb wire fence or ride the Vee while he Vee'd new ditches in the fields. Anyone who ever rode one of those pull behind the tractor vee's through a field with a hangover can well relate. And yes my grandfather had burried a model T on the farm but would never tell me where it was burried.
There was an old fart setting on a curb crying? When ask what is problem was, he said, "I have a beautiful 27 yr. old wife at home and I am 83. I have a billion dollars in the bank". So what is your problem, the stranger replied. The old man said, "I can't remember where I live".
Lemme get this straight, 18 guys and only 6 girls in your senior cl***? I hope the ratio was reversed in the junior cl***; I hate the thought of some of you lonely cowpokes poking (ahem) livestock! Later, *****6
The girls loved it until we voted on something, ha! There were three other larger communities and a college within 24 miles, so we went out of town a lot, to chase girls. Oh, I forgot to mention two of six girls were my cousins. that cut the odds down considerably, as the Baptist would have frowned on ******.
So which of the other 4 were you "tapping"? I was under the impression the Baptists frowned on that, too?
The football queen, of course. As far, as the Baptist go, the reason they don't have *** standing up is, somebody might think they are dancing. The last revival I went to, at the end of the week the local married organist , ran off with the evangelist, who happened to be the local minister's younger brother. Remember: People who live in gl*** houses, should never throw stones!!!!
That bring back some memories! my Dad always gave me a lot of **** when I was a teenager as was the "thing to do' in the early 60's so I had ways of paying him back.He was a salesman and on the road a lot so had to keep a gas log for his car,so everynight on the way back in he topped off the tank, the '61 Chevy wagon he had would have to use 5 gallons to come off the full mark so when I got home from working at the Drive-In he was already asleep so I would siphon off 2 gallons after a couple of weeks he was complaining his mileage wasn't very good so took it to the Dealer for a tune-up (didn't help) so when he complained I told him since I was in Vocational Auto shop in High School I would check it out for him,so I played around under the hood and put the timing light on it and told him it should be a lot better,at which point I quit tapping his tank.About a week later I hear Him telling Mom about the *** chewing He gave the dealer and how I was a pretty good mechanic, Finally a compliment!!
I can relate. About the only complement I received from my dad was, I had the loudeest car in town and I finally ran the tractor 18 hrs. instead of 16.
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