Mini bike ride from hell!!!

11.5 hp.......Water cooled special carb, reed, and chamber

And you can carry it under arm.

 

One day the boss asked if we would stay late to finish up a job, and a hour and half turned into about 4 hours, so i was a little pissed, and hungry. So i left the property a little agressively onto the dirt road thinking i'd throw a little gravel around with the Capri rs, well the road was pretty hard packed and i ended up leaving two black marks for about 100 feet with first and about 20 feet with second. That brought me right to the homeonwers laneway, where he could see everything from his front door. Got reemed out the next day but everybody else thought it was funny

 

I was in the hospital last year for a week with heart issues and they left me in the trauma ward for a couple of nights (no sleep there!) About 3:00 am they bring this guy in moaning and groaning, naked and bleeding. Apparently two guys mugged him and he ran away and hopped over a chain link fence. Well he caught his bag going over, ripped his clothes off, had a ball hanging out and kept running to his friends house.
He just kept yelling and groaning and being a prick and a half to the nurses (never a good idea). The nurses in turn were not pleasant to him (one of them dumped some disinfectant on the wound). It was fun listening to the doc stitch him up (stop moving, and yelling doesn't help) and when the guy said he was glad the doctor was doing the stitching, not the nurses, the doc said "these ladies are way better at this than me!".
They get him ready to go home and when he stands up, his big toe decides to split open and spray blood all over, apparently when he was running naked he stepped on some glass that embedded in his toe. So that had to be cleaned and stitched as well.
From the phone call he made to his friend, it wasn't a mugging but a drug deal gone bad and he was out a few hundred as well as having a ripped bag and losing whatever clothes he was wearing.

 

Yup, never a good idea to be a prick in the ER. Had one of them today, ended up being held down by security while we sedated.
I would be preaching to the choir here but being at least reasonable gets you far and with less pain!
Doc.

 

Good tales from the dark side of the work force. Most of mine involved large amounts of alcohol.

That would be a great new thread, the wildest sh** you ever did at work and still managed to keep your job.

Bob

 

Well I cant beat the dangling ball story, but when I was a farm equipment salesman I had a company truck to drive. They gave us F250 Fords because we had to deliver equipment with them. It also towed my car trailer pretty well. Now the boss knew I used it sometimes for personal stuff and was cool because i always put extra fuel in it if I burned his fuel going after a car etc..

Well one day the boss has our truck driver in the office chewing his ass for runninga errands on company time and I come driving in with a '49 4dr Ford on my trailer behind the company truck in the middle of the afternoon.

He comes in my office and is only about half pissed and says" Dammit Gordon, here I am chewing Mels ass for picking up stuff on company time and you come driving past my window with a fuckin' car.!!!" We laughed about it later. Much later.

 

I think you guys should have tranquilizer guns like on Mutual of Omaha's Wild kingdom in the ER!

 

Frankenberries has me wanting to wear a cup now!

I accidentally lit a propane forklift on fire once. I had left it running while I went around a corner. When I came back I got to see it take off, on fire and heading for the end of the room (about 200 yards away). A coworker said,"Hey, go stop that thing!" Yeah, right. All I could see was that damn 40lb propane tank sitting on the back engulfed in flames. It finally stopped and we put the fire out. I wen to my supervisor and told him what happened before anyone else could. He didn't even get angry, just told me to go park it in the repair shop. I left it for the mechanics with a tag that said "Horn does not function properly".

 

GREAT thread....hahahahahhaaaaa
I think every member of the HAMB probably has a dozen or more of these stories.....crap, funny stuff.

Magnesium shavings, Caddy burnouts, freeway barriers, avoiding gunfire, Rockford 180s......

 

Haha, at least no one got hurt! Ive had my own mini bike incident from hell except it was more of a ghost ride. I had it up on jack stands trying to start it with a socket wrench because my pull starter broke. The engine begins to sputter and next thing i know the damn thing shot off of the jack stands full throttle heading for a palm tree in my front yard! Mind you, this is a 150 pound mini bike with a 5.5 hp honda, thing goes like a bat out of hell! It hit the palm tree taking a good portion of it with it, the wheels then turned and headed towards another tree in my yard. It jumped over the stone bricks surrounding the tree did an endo and landed on its side spining in circles spraying gasoline everywhere. All the while im standing there dumb founded and scared shitless that the thing might catch fire so i run to try to tame the damn thing. I managed to get ahold of it after some wrestling and pulled the plug out. The damn thing made out with a broken head light and bracket and bent foot pegs! Ive learned to check the linkage before i pull it now!

 

Guzzi/Eagle sidecar rig, doing donuts in light snow in the parking lot. Went so well I thought it'd be OK to try it going to the right. Flipped it and wiped out the left side foot peg AND shift lever. Got it home with foot on passenger peg and shifted by moving what linkage was left with my foot bent at some painful angle.

Not as dramatic, no blood, but I was never that imaginative.

Cosmo

 

We used to ride go carts and mini bikes in the basement. One day the mini bike pull start breaks so I grab an electric drill and socket to start it off the fly wheel. The motor finally starts and goes wide open. the nut holding the flywheel spins off then the flywheel is next. It hits me in the knee taking a large hunk of flesh with it. So I wrapped it with a tee shirt . 2 days later in gym class the teacher sees it and sends me to the hospital. The doctor says he cant do anything cause theres nothing to sew back together. He put a large bandage on it and I got out of gym for a week.

 

Ahh you're boss will get over it.

I had a summer job working at a place that fabricated dumpsters one summer. I could pound the dumpsters off twice as fast as the guy that did the job before me so I would find ways to consume my time before they started letting me weld. (I was just a grinder)

I was often sent to sweep the floors until more dumpsters were welded, we had a "shop cat" at least that's what I think it was called that was a self propelled walk behind sweeper. One of the guys there was accident prone so the other guys had a bike helmet hanging in his area as a joke. Well i took that bike helmet, put it on, then found a rolling chair and used the shop cat to pull me around the shop. All the guys were laughing like crazy at both what i was doing but also how ridiculous i looked with the bike helmet on since it was wayyyy to small for me. About one minute into this the general manager comes walking in with a bunch of suits, he said something along the lines of "That's our summer temp, he gets his work done so fast he finds other ways to keep himself busy as you can see. The scary part is, in another year and a half he'll have a fancier college degree than any of us."

Shortly after that they let me consume my time by welding. Although after I got the welding gun in my hands I started tacking people's tools to their welding tables. I tacked the guy with the bike helmets hammer to the table, he was on the other end trying to hold something on the table so he reached way over to grab the hammer, ended up falling on his face because the hammer didn't give at all. Go figure..

My last day there they took all the porn that the truckers left in the crapper and pasted it to the back of my truck. They also reached in through the vent window one time, unlocked my truck, and took my battery out and hid it on me. I guess i deserved that...

Good times.

The job before that one wasn't as fun, I got my kicks out of closing the valves on coworkers forklifts while asking them a question. They'd make it a few hundred feet before the propane ran out. They'd go get a new tank and then find that the valve was closed on the one on there and then have to carry the full tank back to the shelf. They caught on after about a week and then always checked the valve before getting a new tank.

 

thats better than what my boss did one time...
a slow day at work and the truck (Semi) driver wasnt in..he decided he could pull it out..Crunch!!!..into the side of the shop and one of those big concrete filled poles..
its kinda a good thing in a way, he cant bitch out any of us if we ever make the same mistake...

its cool your boss is a real Man, and not some jack ass that decided to fire you for being a guy..its not our fault

 

Mini bike story:
My buddy (not the most graceful guy, but 'willing to try') and I go out one night and play around with it. He decides it would be cool to try the fully prone position made famous by Rollie Free doing the land speed record. He erased half his moustache, and assorted gravel rash, costing him 50 bucks a month for over a year to cover the hosptal visit.

Work stories:
1. Cranking up the pressure on the air-powered grease gun will not go over well with the boss, especially if the clueless pit monkey hits it with the boss only feet away....
2. carb cleaner is a great way to hold fire drills for the new guys, so they don't panic when the real thing happens...
3. When welding up a leak on an oil pan in the car, it will only ignite when you have just finished and the boss has just pulled in...
4. When the cologne sales girls come into the shop again and shoot you with that crap, it is NOT okay to spray them with carb cleaner...
5. Don't build a potato gun at work. It will escalate......

 

...installing a grease zerk on the back of someones rollaway box and hooking it up to an air powered luber is fun...just don't get caught!

 

Holy hell that would have been great to see!!!

 

Great thread, and the ball story reminds me of an episode of "Scarred" where some kid grinded a rail in a newly constructed mall... and whoever put up the hand rail didn't put the end cap on it and didn't ream the pipe. It had a razor sharp barb on the end and sliced his sack wide open. Yeesh...

As for stupid things in front of the boss... I used to be the UVI manager at a Ford Linc Merc dealer in Georgetown... I get a call to drop off a new Navigator to the big dawg... "Mac"... I have one of my guys drive the Navi while I follow in a brand new Lightning as a chase truck... about 10 minutes of waiting at the driveway to leave the resteraunt in downtown Austin on a Friday at 5:30 PM... I get pissed and hammer the shit out of a Lightning getting it completely sideways out of the driveway while merging with traffic at the same time. Musta looked bad ass (yeah right)... well I figured the big dawg would be inside eating some overpriced crap by that time... nope. He was outside fiddling with the Navi.

This is how quick this shit went down. I hammer it out of the driveway... merge with traffic on I-35 and GET A PHONE CALL FROM THE GENERAL SALES MANAGER by the time I hit the passing lane. The whole time he's yelling in my ear "GOT-DAMMIT SALISBURY, WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU THINKING??? MAC JUST CALLED ME AND TOLD ME TO FIRE YOUR ASS WHEN YOU GET BACK!!!". I get there and park the truck... didn't get fired.

BUT IT WAS CLOSE!

Tons of other car lot stories so i'll just give brief snippets...

Days of thunder lunch hour using already half wrecked wholesale auction cars... that was FUUUUUN

Millions of burnout with new cars...

160 in an '03 Cobra with 5 miles on the clock...

Countless donuts with the Kubota fourwheel drive shop tractor... tire dressing is bad ass for donuts on a slick shop floor!

Literally running over a car that was already claimed totalled by insurance at the body shop... with said Kubota. It almost rolled over on me too... damn F body Camaros are slippery.

Ugh... so many others. I know i'm forgetting a couple that are better than these...

-Chris

 

Dude, thats funny.

 

Damn those are some funny stories, I guess guys are the same all over. Anyone else ever fill a 50 ft. air line with water and plug it into a 105# pressure line? With the proper fitting on the end it will squirt water 100 feet. we used to shoot at birds that flew into the shop with an air powered staple gun, using 1 1/2" staples, all fun and games till one guy got carried away and showered the machine shop at the far end of the building with staples. As far as getting caught by the boss I didn't give a shit, my boss was a incompetent loser who got bitched at by me more than the other way around. One day I needed two of the stands that hold up the "skate" tracks. I found a couple in the back of the shop and was walking on them with my feet on the bottom crossbars and my hands on the top bar that goes under the track. The boss walks around a corner and sees me, doesn't say a word, and I bust out laughing as I clank by him.....I was about 46 at the time...you gotta grow old, you don't have to grow up.

 

There used to be this greedy little guy that did the accounting at my buddy’s shop years ago. It was a long building with a repair shop in the front and a body shop out back. Anyhow, one of the guys goes across the street to the liquor store and gets a lottery ticket with the winning numbers for the multi-million dollar jackpot. Now I’m not talking about the winning ticket here, I mean the one that they print out for so you can see if ya won or not. Everybody’s in on this so we all make like we’re too busy to call the lottery hotline to check if it’s a winner or not. Finally my buddy casually tells our “mark” that if he makes the call, he’ll split the winnings with him if any numbers match. Needless to say, the little guy takes the bait, hook line & sinker. We all watch out the corner of our eyes as the little bastard calls the lottery number, gets a strange look on his face, hangs up then calls it again. And again. He finally says real shakey like, “I think we’re millionaires and don’t forget you said we split it even”. Just then one of the crazy shop kids grabs the ticket and runs back into the body shop. Well, this little bastard went literally crazy runnin’ through the body shop screamin’ like a Comanche over the hoods and roofs of customers cars. Man, was he MAD when we told him it was a gag. We laughed our asses off.

 

HAHAHA! This put tears in my eyes.

 

Back in my younger days, I did some crazy shit too.

One time I was about 18, my lil brother was about 15, and we had a friend with us. Riding around in my car, the "friend" pulls out a package of the biggest firecrackers I'v ever seen in my life. I have no clue what they were, but they were much bigger than M-80's.

At any rate, he gets to lighting them and tossing them out the car window at pedestrians.

About the 5th one he does, he goes to toss it out te window, and it bounces off the A-pillar, and lands right in his lap.

I hit the brakes, and he's trying like hell to get it out of his crotch, but, to no avail!!!

BOOM!

The concussion of the explosion literally makes me go deaf. The friend is looking at me with a shocked expression. He's trying to talk, but no words are comming out of his mouth. Then I notice it's "snowing" little pieces of foam rubber from the seat cushion. A few seconds later, I regain just enough hearing to hear him graon right before he passed out!

Yep, it went off right up against his sack. Broke one of his fingers and split the skin open on his hand from where he was trying to grab it.

We drove straight to the E.R.... It wasn't pretty at all.

There was a hole in my seat big as a grapefruit that went all the way thru. You could see the carpet under the seat!

Our friend spent a week in the hospital. Ruptured one of his nuts. Internal bleeding and such. It was "interesting" trying to explain to the police, his parents, and the doctors what had happened.

I see him every so often, and to this day [25 or so years later] he has never been able to father a child.

 

Damn adam... that story is nuts.

Sam

 

This is best thing ive seen all day

 

"Franken Berries" . Funny story, but any story involving stitches and big jim & the coconut twins makes me cringe.
I'm gonna have to bookmark this thread for future entertainment!