The usefulness of a exponentially HUGE blowup Okay, so I'm here at college (yeah, boo hoo, go ahead, say it, ima college boy) and we got these assholes who live in the two rooms down from us. Their favorite pastime is screwing with our door, lighting it on fire, generally vandalising it. So i'm in here, and some jerkoff puts permanent black marker all over the peephole. That was it, the straw. I try and scratch it off, no dice. Then, I get some cleaner from the front desk, and I have this Psycho-killer, just-got-released-from-the-mental-facility look + twitch in my eye. I look directly past the jerkoffs in the hall and try to clean this pen off. It still doesn't come off. I'm mad, I'm fuming, I'm pissed. I take the cleaner back to the desk and look at the assholes in the hall and go in my room, put on the ZZ Top on full blast, and just start tearing the joint up (within reason, I'm poor). Yelling, screaming, throwing shit, punching and kicking all manner of things. Then, a funny thing happens. I look through my peephole, no more marker, just the remnants of what was (feverishly) scratched off. Moral of the story? Get mad-get results. -Crew
[ QUOTE ] The usefulness of a exponentially HUGE blowup [/ QUOTE ] uh... it would be the usefulness of an exponentially HUGE blowup and you say you're in college?
I'm in college too and it ain't so bad, you gotta spaz out once in a while. Generally I've found if you freak out like you described, people won't fuck with you. Works pretty good when driving through the ghetto or other shitty neighborhoods too. What happened to talking about cars???
There was always that ONE kid in school that nobody screwed with. Nobody ever saw him actually kill anybody, and he always kept to himself, but everybody knew--don't fuck with the kid, or he'll stomp on your head until your eyeball pops out--and then he'll stomp on the eyeball. You are now that kid. Nice job! As a follow up, do something particularly harsh in return. I suggest, if the floors are carpeted in their dorm room, that you go get yourself two really big jars of pickeled herring. Dispose of the fish bits (they actually taste pretty good, but that's a lot of herring to eat in one sitting), and then put all the juice in one jar. You might need a third jar to fill it up with liquid. Get a lot of liquid--you want the jar full. Tip the jar against their door, and knock on the door. They'll open the door, and the jar will tip over, spilling the putrid liquid into their carpet. That smell won't come out without a whole hell of a lot of cleaning. Chances are pretty good that their room will stink until the end of the year. Any other creative ideas out there? Come on, we're car guys, (and vindictive assholes if I'm not mistaken)--we should be able to come up with something to help the kid out! -Brad
I musta missed the "N". Sory. Te dint teech us the langage. Anyway, I was that kid in H.S. too. I got friends,tho. In low places. -Crew
hahahahaha stomp your fuckin eye hahaha id love to see that haha ive been laughin so hard for the past 10 minutes ahaha lmfao!@!!!!................................. do they have cars? if so stick potatoes in the exhaust and other shit too or just weld it off completely. Just ideas...GOOD ONES!!!!
I could think of a ton of stupid things to do like super-glue their dorm room locks shut while they're at class, but mostly all I'm coming up with invloves glass jars full of very flammable material and a burning rag.
I spent a weekend with a friend at school several years ago. The dorm floor head honcho was a DICK! Some of the guys took a funnel and a long chunk of hose long enough it would slide under his door and in to the room a few feet. Then in the middle of the night about six of them would all piss in it. What a smell that had to leave.
The stainless steel fire extinguisher that you can pump up with a bicycle tire pump and spray under the door thru the crack----your choice of liquids!!
I know this post has nothing to do with cars but Dorm pranks are so fuckin fun! One I always wanted to do was piss on a cookie sheet, freeze it, remove pissickle, slide it under the victim's door while they sleep... That will get you Double Secret Probation... Justin
I'm thinkin about taping a mattress over their doorframe. I mean REALLY taping it. Damn near riveting the damn thing. Good ideas. Keep em coming. Johnny- I think they are too pussy to even have cars, and if they do, I don't know of 'em. I got FORD stuff all over my room's door, though. -Crew P.S. U coming by the museum?
No hurry, take your time. Best served cold, if you must. Sound's like these fool's are destined for greatness.
I don't know where you are, but if it's warm: 1. Find out if they have cars and what they are. 2. Pour milk in the cowl vents. -Do it in the mourning, before it gets warm. The milk will spoil. When they run the heat/a.c. they can enjoy the smell.
I think you did the right thing with your hard-to-ignore bout of insanity. If you try to get even by doing similar pranks, then it just escalates, with one group always fucking-up the other's stuff. Best to just give them good reason to think you're mentally imbalanced -- their imaginations will take care of the rest. Dave
ill try and make it there next weekend. who should i look for or ask for? anyways how much is it for a tour of the place? last time i went i only had to pay for the whole trip together.
i had this old WWII style dummy grenade, painted it all OD green over the bare metal and blue detonator/safety spoon so it looked like the real deal. rolled it out into the hall once. the noise stopped. i agree though, appear unstable and it might be to your advantage.
Then there's always the old "Hide a large piece of raw hamburger" trick and of course the old " Don't take a shower for a week, then get real friendly" trick. How DID you think I got that awful name? Regards, pigpen Bite me, burn me, beat me, make me write bad checks....
I am also a college boy. I went home this weekend and my buddy that goes to a different school told me how he delt with an asshole. This is not very discrete though. He is of Italian decent and some kid called him a deigo. So he took a tube sock, crapped in it, and then hit the kid across the face with it. He said the kid was in such shock he just walked away. I wish i could have seen it. Good luck with the assholes. Lil Joe
Ah, feces aint my thing. Thanks for the suggestion. You think if I tie the doorknob of one of the rooms to the doorknob of the other room (assholes live in both rooms) that it would work? Keep the doors shut? They are across the hall from one another. -Crew
one of my alltime favs involves an accordian style filing envelope (the more folds, the better) you fill it an inch or two with talcum powder, itching powder...whatever annoying powedered stuff you can get ahold of and while they are gone you stick the small end under the door (sometimes you can tape the end up and open the folds at the bottom before you seal it for good) and then stomp as hard as you can. leaves a nice coating of powder on EVERYTHING the second only works if they have a car and you can get a hold of some liquid nitrogen, 15-20 cans of shaving cream (depending on the size of the car,) some heavy gloves and a few pairs of needle nozed pliers and a couple friends are all you need...dip each can for 30 seconds, then hurry and peel the can off with the pliers and throw the frozen block in the car...reapeat until out of supplies. helps if you tape the vents off too, it can pressurize a car fairly well...use only as a last resort.
Oh man, hopefully Elrod will share his dorm prank involving a dead goat story. its good stuff. This is ground control to major Elrod... over
[ QUOTE ] I don't know where you are, but if it's warm: 1. Find out if they have cars and what they are. 2. Pour milk in the cowl vents. -Do it in the mourning, before it gets warm. The milk will spoil. When they run the heat/a.c. they can enjoy the smell. [/ QUOTE ] Didnt you guys learn anything from watching Pulp Fiction? Never mess with a mans automobile.
here are a couple of good get backs for you guys 1 destructive one not 1. the chicken bomb take a quart jar and stuffit with bone in skin on chicken breast, then fill it to the brim with heavy whipping cream and seal it up, put it some where warm and where it wont be found, after about 3 days to a week (dpending on temp) the rot will build up enough pressure to break the jar ther resulting stench can not be taken out of anything , we trided this one in a junk car and after it went we stripped the interior, and the heap still stunk then we sand blasted the steel and finally ground on it and the car still stunk, so it is a safe guess you cannot reverse this one. 2. go to your local hunting shop and buy some doe estrus (used as a lure for bucks) this stuff is rotten and buy some cyote or wolf urine, then pour the bottles down the air vent ( the air intake in front of the windshield that leads to thier heater box) for their car, then the next time they turn the heat on you can imagine the smell.
Don't mess with their cars. That just ain't right. If their dorm room has a deadbolt, just penny lock 'em inside. While they have the door deadbolted, jamb a stack or two of pennies between the door and the door frame. Works best if you put one stack above and one below the deadbolt. I've seen really big guys have to climb out small windows just to get out of the room.
Yeah, don't screw with their car--that's going too far. But I gotta say, I think their room is fair game--especially if they've been screwing with your door all the time. I did the hand grenade thing once--the head bus boy at work was really screwing me over. We had a big fight about it one day, I drove home, got the dummy grenade and went back to work. When he walked past me with a full bus tub, he stopped and lipped off again--I pulled the pin, said "Fuck you" and set it in his tub, then turned and walked away. He was a little easier to deal with after that. That'd probably be considered a "terrorist threat" today and I'd have cops to deal with. With shaving cream, you can put a can in the freezer over night, and then with a can opener, remove the bottom of the can. As it thaws, it expands. Good in desk drawers, etc. Rancid chicken is about the worst thing in the world. You know, for what that's worth... And it will only escalate to the point where you win by doing something so horrible they're scared of what you'll do if they try anything again. You may have hit that with your little temper display, so it might be over. But if it's not, then it's your job to bring a M1 Abrams tank to their little knife fight. -Brad
[ QUOTE ] please expand on the "penny lock" [/ QUOTE ] What you are accomplishing is to wedge the pennies in between the door and the frame. So the lock is pushed so tight against the side, it can not be rotated to unlock. This is basically how you do it, have a firend lean hard on the top of the door so it is bowed, you wedge pennies in near the deadbolt (or even regular lock). Repeat for the bottom of the door. The person inside will not be able to turn the knob and get out. The powder trick is very effective, that stuff will go everywhere. Another easy one is to fill a garbage can with water and then lean carefully against the door, so that as soon as the door opens, a big rush of water floods in the room. Don't mess with personal property like cars. That is asking for major trouble, keep it to dorm room stuff. However if they fuck with your car, it is fair game for equal and more sever retaliation.
A favorite when I was in high school was putting a fish inside each hub cap. They wonder why it always stinks no matter where they park.
super glue nozzle fits in a keyhole nicely (dorm room) maybe try some expanding foam to help insulate their door....run a bead all the way around (gotta save enrgy ya know) Honey on the door handle every time they leave is a sticky mess.(vaseline,oil,grease..whatever) An old record album holds a nice amount of shaving cream...fill,slide open edge under door and jump on it Maybe you could use some metalflake from the hobby store,anybody who's ever flaked anything knows what a pain in the ass that stuff is to clean up...and they'll look like they're wearing glitter whenever they go anywhere. In the navy we had some assholes screwing with us...so after they spent all day waxing their floor they got the shaving cream at nite....fuckers got to spend the rest of the night restripping their floor and rewaxing it for the next days inspection!!
I like the ones that dont involve bodily fluids, very inventive! Expanding foam is a really good idea... -Crew
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