Ode' to a 2010 HAMB Calendar

Here I sit Broken hearted…
Tried to see what day it was but I couldn’t get started.

<OIs it start em up Friday…<O
Or Monday where I try not to go.

Hey wait I know! <O
I’ll call up my girl, in my rod I’ll pick up her ****…<O
She says “I can’t go, it’s Tuesday you gear head nut”!

<OShe starts to tell me something about her Mom but I tune her out…<O
hoping soon the 2010 HAMB calendar will soon be about

They say good things come to those who wait…<O></O>
That idiot never staged at the tree of a quarter mile straight.

<OSo I’ll stumble aimlessly through the holiday shopping lines…
I bet I’ll still know when its HAMB Drag Saturday and hope to run in the nines

I’m growing concerned; I wonder what I’ll do…
<OThey say this year their only going to make a few.

<OSo as if I’m watching the starting tree, I’ll keep checking the store…<O
No I don’t need a 2009 HAMB calendar anymore!

<OBut I hope that one day I can buy 2 or 3 or maybe 4…<O
2010 HAMB calendars so I don’t show up empty handed when I crash the low riders Christmas party next door

Screw driver set, mag subscription, new underwear, kiss my ***!<O
I want 12 black and white retro photos for my wall full of sleds that **** gas!

<OI hope we all can figure what day it is very soon…
<OIt’s helpful to know when it’s the right night to go howl at the moon.<O

Waiting with patience is not my strong suit…<O
But I will and Happy Holiday to all of you. <O

 

Keep the day job.

 

Yeah, I couldn't make it past "She says “I can’t go, it’s Tuesday you gear head nut” ! ".

 

You guys just don't appreciate the finer arts.

I thought it was pretty good.

 

uh...nevermind

 

Yeah, not bad...needs a bit more polishing...but the thot is there...and that's all that is important...

R-

 

it was off tune at some parts but that was very good keep it up

 

Yeah right. You stiffs are all wondering about the calendar too. That's why you keyboard cruisers clicked on the thread. I admit it was turd word polishing but it does make a good point. I'm surprised this many of you can read too. I'm keeping my day job; it would be nice to have something to let me know when I have to drag my *** to the salt mines to get that occasional rag that is supposed to be a paycheck. And I'm self employed. Not ragging on the calendar committee but just my way of letting them know I would be really happy to hear something from them soon. There are 2 things happening outside of my shop here this month. A new Lens Crafters just opened up and the HAMB calendar is supposed to be out. I can't contain the excitement of being able to get eyewear in an hour! Pop the calendar or I keep honing my poetry skills! That oughtta be some incentive. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
<o> </o>

 

You have to realize that as a critic, I may not be entirely qualified. I think 99 Bottles of Beer is the greatest song ever written.

 

no please.

 

Start with 36 grit............

 

I was thrown out of a Japanese karaoke bar for being out of tune.