Any family guys out there have any ideas on how to find time between your wif and kid(s) To get in the garage and finish your ride? Ive been tryn to deal with this for almost 3 years since my wife got knocked up Tell me your ideas or stories..Lame i know but.....phuk it
During the week nights, spend a little time with the kids, then help get them ready for bed. She doesn't care if you go to the shop after that. On the weekend, break up the shop time every few hours by knocking out a couple of light honey-do's or shooting hoops ith the kids. She'll actually think your "sweet" or something. If all else fails, use this line: "Honey, I could be like other men: off playing golf, out drinking or running around. But instead, I'm right here in the back yard. Call me if you need me."
I can say this much, you better find time now or you'll do what i did and lose your wife! which is worse to lose? time with the car or your wife, and having to see your kids half the time you used to cause they don't live with you anymore, coming home to an empty house, cause you didn't prioritize. MAKE TIME brother!
I'm with ya. (new house,16mo.baby boy,wifes 7mos preg now) I'm trying to get my boss to let me park the project at work. "Honey I've gotta work late tonight" Get the picture? -John
Spend some time with the kids before bed and all. Then you and Momma head out to the shop for a little fun.........
You fight it for years, then the kids get into their own things, and don't care about you(unless they need money!) The wife eventually gets tired of you.(unless she needs money) Then you build a shop, and your all happy
My boys are still relatively young, 4 & 6. If I have to decide between my boys and wife or these cars, my family comes first. I have a few projects that I would really like to see finished but I figure there's time for that later. My boys are growing up so fast and I don't want to miss a thing. Soon enough I'm hoping that we can share some of this stuff together. I try to slide a little time for myself here and there. At the shows I do attend, I usually have at least one of them with me. I've seen many of my friends put their stuff in front of their families and now they have no family life to speak of. Prioritize man! Besides, look at those mugs, how could I think any other way? By the way, my son is here with me on my lap & got such a kick out of seeing himself on here with all the cars I got a hug
It is a tough balancing act. Especially with all the shows and such here in Southern Calif. Unless your blessed with a family that actually ENJOYS the hobby, you gotta put them first. I try to do split weekends. One day for family stuff and one for ME. I also try to put some time in during the week but I work A LOT so it is tuff. I have found that it takes me longer than most of my single friends to get stuff done. I have also found myself paying people to do stuff for me because I simply can't find the time to get certain stuff done. But, I get alot of joy from my family too, so I try to always put them first. FONZI
You know how all those car magazine stories talk about how the guy was into cars, then got married and a family, then after the kids went off to college he got back into them... If the kids enjoy spending time out in the garage, then it's great. But it's also important to do the things they want (and to realize their attention span is way short). That means sports, little league, fishing, tea parties and dolls if you have a gurl. And remember, a lot of these things happen during optimal car time. The wife and kids are, well, the most important thing. The cars are just lumps of metal that make you bleed. Fun, but not really important. I work out in the shop after everyone else is in bed. That seems to work pretty well. Knock out a bunch of honey-do's during the week, and on a weekend there's no complaints. But sometimes, it will be a couple weeks before you get to play. Part of being a family man. (Coming dear!...) -Brad ps: the best time I ever, ever have, bar none, is spending a Saturday fishing with my 8 year old. He likes being in the shop with me now, too, and is learning how to use power tools and is beginning to build his own stuff (messes) with my s****, but the best times are still just him and me on a boat fishing. When he's a man, he'll know how to build stuff, use tools and his hands, but he'll REMEMBER fishing with me in our little boat. And that's what he'll want to do with his son. Go through life building your kids' memories. Let that be your guide. oops-gotta go! (Coming!)
Some of us can keep a project unchanged and unfinished for years. Kids don't work that way. If your kids are real young, I can tell you that your wife is tired. I don't need to ask her, I know. Pitch in there and do all you can. Pretty soon they will be old enough to take in the garage to fetch tools and hang out with you. You will probably get a few pages of tales of opportunities lost while chasing a job or a project. Visitation rights, community property issues and a million other sad tales of woe. It sounds like your kids are young, that p***es faster than you can imagine. It's cool if you can keep the family into the cars, but keep the family. How do I know? I've been with the same girl since 1964. I've always driven a modified car or truck and my kids now send the granbrats with me to the car shows and drags. Never let your wife think the car means more to you than the family, or you'll wind up with neither. Sorry for mounting the soap box. But you asked CP
This is awesome. I have the same issues. I have a 4 year old boy and a 10 month baby girl. I really find it hard to do anything at all. I am up and out the door (to work) by 6am and dont get home until 6pm. After that I have roughly 2&1/2 hours to spend with my kids before they go to bed. Thats not enough time to spend with them in a day. I love my kids more than anything, my son demands so much time from me, from the minute I walk thru the door till he goes to bed, but I love it, he rules, sons rule. My wife and I will get a few more hours of fun time in, then were both tired and ready for bed ourselves. where does the time come in to work on cars? I really dont know. The weekends are always filled with honeydos or just playing with the kids. I am a little nervous here because I want to build my hot rod soon, but dont know where to find the time, to drive 30 min. to the shop and build. I also feel guilty because I feel I need to pay my dues with the club and gain their respect, but none have kids ( one is on the way though) so they can spend more time in the shop. I dont know what to say except follow Farmers advise. I felt so bad when I read his post last year about his divorce. My wife is really, really understanding, but at the same time does want to spend time with me as do I want to spend time with her and the kids. When the time comes to build my modified I may try to work out a schedule with her so I can get up to the shop maybe 3 days out of a 7 day week. Thats not much, but family does come first. I could be one those guys that spends no time with their family or doesnt really like their wife, but thats not me. I am committed to my family first. The guys in the club are really understanding, but I still feel I need to "pay my dues" since I am a hack and have no other skills to offer them. So I guess I am not much help RenoRat, I am in the same boat looking for advise as well. I am hoping its somewhat true what someelse wrote about the kids eventually doing their own thing, finding friends to play with instead of daddy, not sure I want my wife to stop caring, but maybe then she can come out into the garage with me instead of having to "watch" the kids when I am out in the garage. But I feel old already I hope I can get my rod done before that. Good luck to us family guys..
Like so many have posted, it very difficult. It is something that I honestly get depressed over. Moved to Texas a year ago, bought a new house, son just turned 2 and baby girl is due March! Car has sat since Roundup, only work on it when Jasonic comes over and helps rip it apart. Son goes to bed around 10:00 (never got use to Texas time, still on Cali time), wife works until midnight, so if I am not already p***ed out, I try and do something after 10:00 until midnight. Its hard man, I know. Having 1 friend and never going out kinda saves time for me though. Stay up late if you can or wake up early. The thing that ****s is that if you are like me, the master bedroom is directly above the garage so no compressor or power tools. I keep telling myself things will get better, in about 3-4 years.
Dude I really have no room to talk since I have no kids nor ol lady but hear me out. I remember spending time with my Dad whether helping in the shop or going out fishing it seemed that he had time for us kids. I remember running towards the door at the age of around 3 years screaming DADDY!!!!! I also remember helping in the shop a year or so later geting him a wrench, It may have not been the one he needed but it seemed at the time the right one he wanted. Any time you spend with the family is good time work the kids into the project even if the project was raking the lawn. Man you are lucky, spent time with the younguns for they are not young for long.
Hey.. Agree with what everyone has to say.. On a personal note, I built mt car while my daughter was undergoing chemo for cancer (age 3). It took six years to complete, or as complete as it will ever get, time came in sperts. But when all was said and done that car was the kids pride and joy. The car "folks" were awesome to this kid and if anything this car brought my family closer. If you have the time the story can be seen @ www.badlandscoupe.com Only ****-ie part.. kid died on March 19-1998 Pontiac Slim
For me its not really time, its the lack of money that comes from having a wife and kids. Everytime I get a little extra play cash, the kids get sick, they need clothing, gotta buy the wife a gift. You know its always something. And it ain't gonna stop, just remember you have back to school sales, braces, cl*** yearbooks, cl*** rings, college tuition down the road! I want my kids to go to college so they can actually get a good paying job someday and not be working their *** off in a dead end job like me. Thats right why its hard for me to afford this hobby I love. So my Shoebox sits, the fender and door is rusting and the engine is skipping like hell. I'm literally watching this car fall apart before me and there is nothing I can do about it. I have contemplated selling it several times to someone who can afford it better but this car is just a part of me. Regardless of all this, I still love my wife and kids and I would never let "cars" get in the way of my marriage and family life. When my wife got knocked up I knew it would be a life changing experience but my kids and wife are my life, more so than any old car.
Most of my "rodding" is bench racing or building. With my 2 boys and wife, I get a precious 2 hours or so a night after work with them, then it's bedtime. Weekends are better, but usually we do "family" stuff. So the rods sit, but it's ok. Days like when I spent 3 hours trying to beat the rotor off my wifes Tracker while the 3 year old sat at the edge of the garage watching... when I finally got the darn thing off, I heard a meek "Daddy..." so I said "What buddy?" To which he replied "I'm vewy pwoud of you for getting the wotor off." That's what I'm talking about... Or, like when I was on the HAMB really early on a Sunday, before the family got up... and I heard footsteps heading across the upstairs, then down the stairs and to my lap. I just happened to be looking at a post with Killer's truck, that 32 (?) ish one, with the super z'd frame... Michael saw that and yelled "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH, build THAT one Daddy!" Always, always, put the kids first. Then rods. Then wife. Jay
I don't have much to offer. My wife always supports my habits. She tries to come out and help me but she's busy herself. I have an11 year old and a 9 year old. As they get older it seems to get easier. They work for me in the shop for extra money....cleaning and such. As far as finding extra time....good luck. Here's my schedule for the last week. Sunday- Church, after Church we hung out as a family, watched TV etc. That was our day off.Sometimes, we have family game night. It's a night with no TV, electronics of any kind. Monday- Son's Basketball practice, Son's academic meet Tuesday-Daughter's musical Wednesday-Off, worked in the shop for 2 hours. Thursday- Son's Basketball practice, Son's Band concert Friday- Son's Basketball game Sat.-Son's Basketball game, Daughter had a birthday party to go to. It is hard but you have to put your family first or your kid's will wonder " who is that guy is in the refrigerator?"
Good thread, guys. My son is almost a year old. I go to the shop at 5:00am, back to the house by 6:30 when the wife and child get up. Makes for good down tome for me, and most of the time they don't know I am gone. But it's still frustrating to get home late from work and spend an hour or two with him each day when we are both tired and cranky. If you watched "rides" last night, Foose went on his first Halloween ever with kid, who was 5. Foose does some incredible stuff and I am sure works hi *** off, but he'll probably live to regret not spending time with his kids.
My wife left us when my youngest son was 3 years old. I dont believe in babysitters. Thats MY job! I took them everywhere I went. If kids were not welcome, I didnt go there. I bought a sidecar so I could still ride my Harley--and take them with me. One nite we were riding around looking at Christmas lites and I could tell that the kid sitting on the Harley behind me had gone to sleep! I put him in the sidecar and the other kid behind me. Anyway after work, I would feed them and make sure they were started on their homework and as they got older sometimes I would go work in the garage. They always knew they could come get me for any reason. After I put them to bed about 8 pm, I would usually work in the garage a while. Now both sons have graduated from college and got jobs and I am retired. I get to work on my stuff almost all the time. Its Great!
I have 4 kids...from 3 to 15. None of them are really car people which is quite frankly fine with me ...it's my hobby. I rarely miss a game or school function. I work nights...leave the house at 10:30 PM and get home about 9 AM. That leaves all day to play...well I have to find some time to sleep, but I figure there will be plenty oftime for sleep when I'm DEAD! I also make sure to make my wife leave the house once in awhile...she gets a whole day away from the kids...say a saturday or Sunday....then I get a whole day in the shop on a different day. When I only had two kids (or maybe it was three) I would set up a play area in the garage ...far enough so they would not get hit by stuff...but close enough to be "watched" That was when mom worked days...and I babysat. That was when I developed bags under my eyes...but when you want something bad enough you do what it takes. Like everyone else says...just make the family come first...then they should understand when you need some garage time.
Hats off to you Manyolcars. You did what needed to be done. I have the upmost respect for a man that values his children.
Important topic, When the kids were tots I worked days. Soon as they went to sleep I went to the garage, you can get three hours a night out there. You just have to know if your wife needs alone time or company. Now I work the graveyard shift and we home school so we have TONS of family time, very low stress flexable life style. My wife is a full supporter of the ol' car thing and the kids love it and live it. My son is 7 and is more helpfull to me than some guys at work. Make sure the kids get their sport or hobby time too.
My twin girls are grown and gone,,,,but they came home from the hospital in a 40 ford sedan,,,,my granddaughter came home in a 39 ford convertible and my grandson came home in a 32 mor-door Both of my girls could tell storys of the adventures playing in the shop in their crib,,,and later helping dad in the shop,,,, the girls still say after they got married that they had a hard time going to sleep without the compressor running outside their bedroom window. most of my work on cars was done after work in the late evenings and on weekends ,,,,but,I always had time to help them with their hobbys,, Now one of my girls has a white 64 falcon,,,chip of the ol' block and my other girl,,,more like her mom drives a white late model ford,,, I love 'em both! HRP
As much as I want my '38 on the road, it's still just a car. Short answer to the question, you don't. I work on it more in the spring and summer, when the days are longer and the temperatures are milder, but, it's always after the family stuff, even if it's just going to get groceries. So, seven years later, it's still a pile of parts. A day here, a day there. But, like what's already been said. You leave the car alone for a while, it'll still be there. You leave the kids alone for a while, you'll have adults who remember, and resent, when you weren't there. Steve
One way to have a project & actually get it going is to KISS it- Keep It Simple, Stupid. Maybe a 50's cruiser instead of a '32 5 window like you always wanted (just an example). Also do stuff that requires less fabrication or work. Sure a nailhead running 6 carbs is wicked, but a basic SBC w/ a 4 barrel is simpler to do- and cheaper. If you want to drive 'em & enjoy the little ones too, build something that won't take 20 yrs at the rate you're going. Maybe some won't agree, but I think compromising on your automotive dreams while the little ones are still little is the best route. When the kids are grown to about 13 or so there'll be plenty of time to work. At that age they want to talk on the phone, go to the mall, etc.
Let me tell you it helps greatly to have the wifes support. In my case, my wife grew up in the garage with her dad. Our parents lived on the same street and both were in to street rodding. Her dad had his 30 Model A and my dad had his 37 Chevrolet. Because of are childhood background, it was easy for me to have time in the garage on weekends, because she understood the time it takes to build a rod. All my wife asked of me was one day in the weekend to do stuff together as a couple i.e. movies, mall, romance, visit friends etc, etc. Sometimes we`d vary it a little, if I needed the whole weekend for myself, then I would make it up to her the following weekend usually with interest. We have a 2 year old daughter and I spend lots of evenings with her playing, wrestling, being a dad. By me doing this it allows my wife to collect her sanity " she works a stress related job full time also" and rest, go shopping or zone out and do s****booking. Let me tell you, taking your wife and setting up a "date night" once a week and sticking to it will do wonders. Doing that and being there for her is the key. This allows me the freedom to get out and fool around in the garage, spend money, make noise, have my creepy friends over and get her blessing to bring home projects. I love her. And I know I am very lucky.
The Jalopy Journal
