How do you park at the MALL? (kinda OT)

Usually in front of Sears. It's a nice spot but gittin though the doors is a *****

 

heres the solution http://www.parkedlikea*****.com/

 

I go to the empty part and enjoy the walk.

 

NADS,
You got me laughing so damn hard my head hurts!
thats some funny chit..
but i have to agree...not into the 'mall experience' either..
Rather go shopping in a junkyard.

Tony

 

If anyone sees me at a Mall I was brought there at gun point. So I guess the handgun would help in finding a spot.

 

I park in the empty section, just because it's easier to swing into a spot when you don't have to worry about getting close to a urban ***ault vehicle. I don't like people parking near my car, not because it's nice, but because the doors are very long, and i'm a big fella (read: fat*** mother****er), and I need all the room I can get to squeeze into that thing.

 

When I lived in Hawaii, I drove a 1972 plymouth station wagon "beach car"....Some ***hole blocked me in my spot at Hanauma Bay and I decided (after a day of beer) that the wagon had enough power to back into the side of his car and push it sideways(on the gr***) far enough to let me out.....it worked...but kinda s****ed my bumper.

 

Fuel Pump...car club function?....Our club used to do that way back in the day...kinda cool to drive(read that 'ride in') a car through the doors haha

 

it dosen't matter what I'm driving, I try to park as far away in the most deserted part possible. Door dings ****.

Here's a tip, if you're gonna park, find a spot against a a curb. You cut down the possibility of a door ding by 50%.

 

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AND take two spaces

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I live for those. Every time I see that I'll squeeze as close as I can get to his driver's door without swapping paint and make the ******* get in his p***enger side. What's funny is when someone else sees you do it and covers his p***enger side too! I hate the I'm better than everyone else types.

 

When I went to pick up my kid from daycare he was standing there in a pair of diapers. He had shat all inside his pants and there wasn't another pair there. He was crying about being semi-naked, I was thinking where in the heck did this sudden onset of modesty come from?
Anyway I had to go to the ****ing mall to get a flat screen monitor. I found a great spot to park very close to where I was going. It's hard to squeeze a '60 Chevy wagon into a spot designed for a Subaru Brat.
Talking of brats, my ***hole kid was screaming about wanting some pants, so I took him to Ross.
Big ****ing mistake, if malls are hell, then Ross is the seventh level of hell. It is the place where Jean Paul Gaultier jeans go to die. It's the place where you can find ****ty oldies box set CDs with 800 songs on them for $12.99. All songs sung by the New *******s of Golom, not the original artists.
That place ****s donkey's nutsack.
The shelves were picked clean and looked like Rosie 'O' Donell's pantry after a particularly harrowing session on her psychiatrist's couch.
I did manage to find junior a pair of Radio Flyer pants for $8.99.
After that I went to Cir**** ****ty and had to deal with Goatee Lad the Uninterested. Talk about someone who needs to have his teeth smashed in with a whoofer.
I finally got what I needed after going through their multi-tiered system of buying Taiwanese made ****.
After negotiating Line A you must then go through Line B, with each line the helpfulness of the employees diminish until you reach the little window.
When you're at the little window, the robotic dude behind there would rather be in a coma than help you, the one who's actually paying him his $5.50 an hour.
At this point you half expect the nice folks to just shoot your new purchase out of the front door with a bazooka and be done with you.

BTW, some old coot brought a big old parrot to the store.
He let my kid pet the parrot, which was genuinely nice, and the parrot seemed to be more intelligent than Goatee Lad the Uninterested. But I still can't help thinking.....wouldn't the parrot be happier at home in a cage ****ting on newspapers and eating seeds whilst angrily staring at himself in a mirror?

Come to think of it, that's what I would rather have been doing.

 

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Fuel Pump...car club function?....Our club used to do that way back in the day...kinda cool to drive(read that 'ride in') a car through the doors haha



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That's a mall in Rochester (NY) that the former owner of my ragtop use to display at. Me... I don't go to malls.

 

Usually next to the most expesive car I can find. I too like setting off the car alarms by running up and down the aisles' its really good in parking garages, staraight pipes and all. People **** when they see my truck to close to there BMW or what ever

 

I don't.

Both my cars have only ever been parked on the street next to kurb..NEVER next to a car in a car spot where someone can swing a door onto the bodywork. The only way to keep perfect straight panels.

M

 

I usually just say to my wife..."honey, while you're at the mall get me some cinnebons" Thats the best way to park at the mall!!
When I drive I take my crew cab lonbed dually and take about 6 spaces!

 

nads, that was an excellant and very acurate description... wish i had an ounce of your writing ability.

 

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I dont park at the mall!!!!

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im with you on that one!!!

 

I like to back in.... HARD!!

 

My wife likes to try to beat people to the spots... This was a tie...

 

Back corner near the Sears tool entrance, never anybody over there and then walk everywhere. Keep myself between my kids and all traffic. Mall is never crowded, but still hate it. I have heard there are some places that there is no parking, folks sit in cars and wait to fight over spaces. Too bad, hope I never have to live that way.

 

A couple things I like to do:
I park in the closest space I can find quickly, unless there's a ***** parked in two spaces, then I pull my beater Benz in just as close as is humanly possible, especially if I'm gonna be there a good long time...
Next, and this works REAL good around the holidays:
Park wherever, but ALWAYS walk back to your car down a down aisle (one going the same way you're walking), wait 'til there's a car or two behind you, then skip over a row and go to your car.
It's a riot for me, but I need a life anyway...
Cosmo

 

I park the same way BLAKE said on page 1. And if I have a "park by the door whiner" in the car, I'll go out of my way to park in East Bumfuk so they can walk some of the extra fat off their ***. Taking up two spaces is never cool, even if you're handicapped.

John

 

Cosmo, I like the wait for traffic then skip over a row to your car. The only thing better is to TAKE FOREVER once you get in your car. I mean, let a few people see you get in, they will wait, but for how long. Light up your brake lights and take a few minutes to adjust your mirror, run the washer/wiper, get your underwear fittin' just right, etc... until you see the "waiter" start to give up and move on. Quickly light up your back up lights. They will wait a little longer. Now put in park, get out and kick your tires, or check your turn signals or something inane. You wouldn't believe how pissed people get.

 

OH hell...I think I hear SIRENS!

 

Whatever's available. Usually there for a reason so I try to park near whavever door is closest to where I have to go. If I have to walk a bit to get in, I have to walk a bit. Only time I've had my Suburban to the mall since I got it, I managed a spot right on the end of a row. People were all parked half-***ed because it had snowed and enough melted to see the lines - so I was the only one parked like you're supposed to be.

One other time I had some ***hole close park on me jammed into a spot not meant for a car, since I had a piece of **** car I just opened up my door as hard as I could - several times. Left a nice dent in his wheelwell, some ****ty subaru or toyota. Then I let the air out of a tire while I was at it. When I got home I sanded his blue paint off my door. Hope they had a nice ride home. Happened once at the bar too, I slammed the door into that one and left a dent but it was such a piece of **** (painted with a brush about 40 times) I doubt they knew the difference.

If you're going to park close on other cars for fun, I'd suggest welding a piece of box tubing down the side of the car for 'em to slam their doors into -

I carry a 10-lb sledgehammer in the car, too. If some ***hole hit my car and walked off I'd tell 'em they have 30 seconds to give me the info or I'll make sure they have a hell of a lot bigger repair bill. But thats the beauty of driving a ****py older truck - I can just accidentally hit them back instead.

 

I'll usaully take my flatbed truck,loaded with about 20 bags of ammonium nitrate fertilizer.I leave a long red wire stickin' out of the middle of the bags,running into the cab. People dont park anywhere near me,or if I park next to them, they move,especialily if I get out real quick,then walk away with my fingers in my ears!