Hey Carps, where are ya man? I may need your help here coz ****ies been doin' that quote thang ya'all is soo good at. Man you're really sad even before Ice-Cream O'clock! It's OK Carps, I'm thinkin' I got it under control. Hey, nuttin' wrong with bein in dat paint box. In da werds of Lonnie Mack, dem paint fumes is da next best thang to nookie. YEEE HAR! Since you left me here, I don't think the temp has dropped below 80 degrees, even at night. This week it even got into the 90s. Funny thing we aint had no rain to speak of either. As for keepin' in touch, the local gals are doin' their bit to make sure I keep in touch, if ya gets my drift. Hey, I also know why you didn't have candles on your cake, coz it's illegal to sell such a large and dangerous quan***y of 'fire prone' materials to a single person. Had Maggie tried to buy them, the store folks might have mistaken her for a terrorist trying to create a weaopon of m*** destruction.
Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear. Photos of his beard were once banned in the Soviet Union, for their ability to cause spontaneous female ******. Even his enemies list him as an emergency contact. Bob Klessig is... The Most Interesting Man In the World. Stay thirsty, my friend. And happy Birthday!
Yup, everywhere he went whilst visiting the driest continent on the planet, it rained! And I had to explain to everybody, he's not wrong, just different! Hope ya had a happy day ya old fart.
The Jalopy Journal
