"Mechanical Genius" comments you've heard?

a kid i went to school with shows me his 68 camaro. its got a 383 with a turbo 350. i jump in the car and he takes off. stops at the light puts in into nuetral red lines it and drops it into gear. im in shock and say dont ever do that, he says why its got a shift kit. he blew that tranny 2 weeks later.

 

Heard a guy yesterday proudly proclaiming his 1970 caddy had a 472cc motor...

even the missus let out a groan at that one

 

many years ago I had my 72 Nova with a built straight 6cyl at a car show . it had hedders,little 390 cfm holley 4bbl, rumpity cam etc. after pulling in and poping the hood several young fellas walked over to look at it. as they talked , I over heard one say to the other "I didnt know it was possible to hop up a 6cyl"

 

A while back I was at the gas station fueling up my "traditional hotrod with no paint" which has a 49 flathead when a young man about 19 or 20 years old asked me "what size the "Hemi" was", I informed him it was not a Hemi but a flathead Ford V8, he replied with "I'm building a 426 Hemi right now in my garage"....and I thought to myself... sure you are.. you don't even know what a f*#king Hemi looks like

 

I was sitting behind my Drag racer and my friends drag cars at a local show,we both run Jerico 4-speeds with Long shifters.Two guys walk up,look at the cars,one guy states,"they are both running those new Hurst automatic shifters".He then looks at my story board with a photo and tells his buddy,"he pulls bigger wheel stands because he has two batteries in the trunk",WTF!!!!! ROY.

 

I have tried to resist but here goes..
My buddy and I were standing outside of a movie theater waiting for the girls talking about some car that Jason was working on at work. I told him I wanted the cool heating and cooling seats out of it (fancy new lexus). At this point some kid interrupts me and starts talking to us about his Chevelle. He says that he and his uncle built it and have 80k in it. he then goes on to tell us that it had a real "yankle" snapper in it. I asked, against my better judgement, "what is a Yankle snapper?" He looked at me like I was an idiot and said if I didn't know he wasn't going to tell me. I then asked where the car is and he told me that it was at home... Too nice to drive. so his mom was on the way to pick him up.
From then on we call anyone who traps you with crazy lies a Yankle. and there are many!

 

i once asked a guy about the really nice paint on his vette. dude said he did all the work himself. and that he had to replace a bunch of panels and it took a long time to get all the welds nice and straight for paint.

kinda off topic, but oh well,
i went to have the head from my 225 slant six serviced and have a valve job done on it. i know the guy doing the work and he was expecting me. but the new guy behind the counter took my head and asked what it was from. i told him it was a vintage head off a 1956 ferarri 348 GTB V-12. dude treated it like it was made of GOLD! my buddy and i still have a chuckle when the guy asks me how my ferarri is running!

 

guy once told me his dad raised naugas for the upholstery industry

 

is it a flock of Naugas or a herd?

 

Wanted to purchase a set of headers called the guy at the counter for a set for a 304 AMC to my suprise he said he has a set in stock drove the 20 some miles to get them he hands me them over the counter I am positive from the shape they are for a SBC I ask him again if they will fit a 304 he says yes after more questioning he finally admits they are for a 305 chevy but then states that they are close enough with a little grinding they will fit. Where did the knowledge go at the parts counter.

 

Went in to get a fuel pump pushrod for the small block in my '60, now I know the computer asks for all the info but when the counter man asked if it was standard or automatic I asked what difference it made. He said "I think the one for an automatic is longer".

 

Argueing <sp?> with an idiot only makes two idiots, I wasted years in school and in the field, all I had to do was drink the water up here in NASCAR country, these guys are all experts. When they start in about their race cars my first question is do you have a single wide or double wide?

 

but could she suck start a Harley? we all have priorities in different times of life! <grin>

 

Is this the guy that started "Jiffy Lubes" <grin> One kid there filled all holes with brake fluid because it took too much time to keep changing out the stuff on the shelf and he wanted a raise for being as quick as the experienced guys.

 

we are missing the million + stories about left handed lugs on chryslers, studes, ramblers, etc. these are always leg wetters.

 

my Dad's first automatic tranny was a '68 Impala with a PG. On the way home from the dealership he shifted from "D" to "P" (vs. 1st to 2nd on column shift) what a racket. He stopped the car, red as a beet and I was all but pissing myself. It did not seem to damage car! He never mentioned it again but did drive for 6 + months with his right hand under his butt.

 

I understand "Naugah's" are a protected species now! I was told they live in Louisana swamp land and look like big rats! <snicker>

 

Did he also explain "smoke theory" as in how electronics work with smoke in them and when the smoke comes out they fail???

 

Turnslow caps are next to the "710" caps, you guys don't know crap! <grin>

 

I dated (not very long) a girl who went to a swap meet with me. She had to use a porta-potty and when she came out was raving about how thoughtful it was to have a pocketbook holder in them (urinal) took me a minute or two to actually realize she was not screwing with me.

 

I was at a small car show this past weekend. While looking at some 32 roadster, two guys walk up. they commented about what a nice car it was. then they started bickering back and forth about the engine. one thought it was a hemi the other didnt. they went back and forth a minute or so. finally one says, "well, what ever it is it sure looks pretty damn cool with the spark plugs in the middle of the cover things."
tim

 

I had a 30 Model A street rod with a destroked 400 in it, with Corvette valve covers. At a car show one day, a guy walks by and says " Wow, look this has a Corvette motor in it"

 

And then a couple of years ago, a blonde schoolteacher pulled into my shop with her 5.0 Mustang. I checked the oil and it was totally sludged up. I told it was way overdue for an oil change. She replied, "no its under warranty for 50,000 miles"
I slammed the hood, sent her on her way.

 

Was working in a salvage yard. Guy comes in ," Do you have a rearend for a OT?'' We do. "Will you install it" Yes. R&R the differential. Guy test drives it and comes back ALL pissed off. ""You sold me another bad rearend, it's still making the same noise!" So I go out to take a test ride with him. He says," We don't have to testdrive it, it makes the noise while it's parked."

 

I have a cousin thats baout ten years older than me . He was putting together an ot72 chevy 4wd in his garage . Got the motor fired up and it just wouldnt run real well and wouldnt shift worth a damn. Me and my brother went up there. He had an open port on the intake and ran the modulator line to the vacume advance on the distributor.
About a year later we were swapping out some run of the mill radial tires on my uncles truck , i was unbolting the rear on the left side as he grabbed two tires and head for the right side. I hollered over and said " are you really gonna try to put the drivers side tires on the pass side ? ... He said " ohh i wasnt thinking " and rolled them back over and leaned em up on my side, about 30 seconds later he called me an asshole and took thew tires back . Everyone int he garage was laughing.

 

Well since you mentioned it. I had an old Dodge RV and was putting new tires on it. Told my giant of a son to get over there on drivers side and remove the rear wheel. He comes back and says it will not loosen. I told him to get the damn wheel off. he came back with a lug nut on a broken stud.

Then it hit me......left hand threads on drivers side!!

 

I've heard this one before too. Used to be in a local car club that was all ricers and OT stuff. One day the "team leader" and I were discussing carbs. He starts telling me that you can change the CFM rating of a carb by changing jets, and the CFM rating is actually how much fuel the carb will flow, that a 650 will flow 650 cubic feet of GAS a minute.

I tried telling him how a carb really works, and then three of the other "club members" start telling me that I'm wrong and he's right, ect. I think thats about the time I stopped hanging out with those re-re's.

Fucked up thing is, the dude was and still is a "master tech" at an independent shop.

 

I was working at a gas station many years ago, was having trouble getting an axle out of an early Bronco (9").
My intellectual genius co-worker mechanic; "You dumb-ass, you've got to take the back cover off and take the C clips off first"
Me-"But there is no back cover, it's a Ford 9"
Genius-"I don't give a dam, you've got to take those C clips out first"

 

1 cubic foot = 7.48 gallons I bet he ran out of gas before he got a block away from his house. That's why I'm running a 1 barrel carb in my ford, it only flows 1 barrel of gas a minute.