Alfred Hitchcock would be proud........what in the hell is that picture of? Wait, maybe I don't want to know........ xxx Brandy
You know, there are forces at work in this world that can't be described. Often when pondering the deep thoughts of the abyss I fancy myself an open minded person. I see folks galloping through life only seeing the things their delicate synapses can hinder afloat. I think to myself, what are we missing? Why can't we be open to the pleasures and dangers of our chubby lives? Is "Extreme makeover homes" the only TRUE reality show? I think not. I like to eat alone at Dennys late at night. Often I meet destiny and choose to ignore it, but not last night. A small rubinesque Burmese woman, about 3' 11" wandered in and sat at the counter. She protruded a taught and robust mannerism. One word came to mind. "Sassy". I sauntered over and asked "Is this chair sitting next to you?" in my smoothest Isaac Hayes. She looked deep into my hot dogs and said "I am from the sea". "Better believe you are...What?..." I said. "The seeeeaaaa. Happy swimmy seeeeaaa." she intoned as she floated away from her position at the counter, making a little wiggle motion with her nubby index finger. I was powerless. She had this killer 120" Shovelhead chopper outside, man it was SICK. It had 20 inch tall apehangers on it and it was kick only. I looked at her. I looked at the bike. Then in one swoop she flipped the kicker out, did a little hop and before I knew it she grabbed the throttle and swung down with a jerk...KABOOM!!! BADUMP BAHDUMPABAHDUMP BUMP BUMP!!!! That big rigid flattened the tires against the pavement with every revolution and before I knew it we were careening through town, me hanging on to whatever part of her that wasn't busy and marveling at the deft way she rat raced through traffic. GET DOWN. We wound up in front of the Monterey Bay Aquarium at about 3 a.m. The moon made everything bluegray as we listened to the crackle and tick of a freshly shut down motor. ........."I am from the seeeeeaaaaa.....happy swimmy seeeeaaaa" she said, pulling me to the rear utility entrance. "B-But they're closed, we'll get in trouble" I said halfhearted but excitedly. Most of what happened after is a blur. I remember water. Parts of me are a bit chafed. She's free now, swimming happily in the tank. Sure... I feel funky, but I'm okay with it.
Hey, I'm from the sea too...Do you remember if she spoke with a lisp and called herself Lois? If you can't remember - that's her all right. Oh man......
Hey hey HEY!? Enough of that! It was just a story about a nice lady my friend met at Denny's, went for a little ride with and then dropped off at work. I threw the commercials for the Aquarium and the restaurant in there hoping to get sponsored. Man, you guys are sick! Shame shame...
Reading that felt like my number being called after 5 hours at the Rhode Island DMV... Thank you. Jay
The Jalopy Journal
