3 years ago,Today,My son died..

Fred Samuel Bonnett--12/12/67-12/10/2008

I remember the day like it was yesterday.
One of the 1st things I did was get on the HAMB and share with you guys how totally devastated I was.

138 of you posted condolences..one asshole said that maybe if I had been a better father,my son wouldn't have killed himself.
I felt lower than a snakes butt and a lot of you helped me through it.(MMMMM Cookies)
I still have a bad case of the coulda,shoulda,wouldas..but..

 

Keep keepin' on man.

 

Very sorry for your loss, may you find peace.

 

There are some things that just can't be explained, or changed. I could never imagine losing a child, and if I do, I don't think I would ever be able to recover. I had a brother that killed himself 2 weeks before he was to be released from prison, and I thought the same thing, what if, I could have, but in the end, was there really anything I could have done? Some people make choices no matter what is done by those around them that leads to a path where they can't see coming back from.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope that as the time ticks on, the pain lessens, but his memory remains strong.

 

I remember that and our phone conversation about teaching when we talked about your T coupe. I really appreciated the talk.

Aznow has the right idea- hang in there!

 

My deapest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your son. I cant imgagine what it feels like to lose a child. May you feel his presence this Christmas season. I will say prayer you and your family today.

 

Heard a lady on the radio and she explained that the first year, after a loss like this, was umbearable.

After that she said she had 3 choices.
1) die
2) exist until you die
3) try to find happiness in little things and rememberances.

She wrote a book about her ecperiences, but do not remember the name of it, or the caller.

So sorry for your loss and hope nothing like that ever hapens.

Greg

 

As we all wish our sons and daughters would grow up to be images of ourselves,,when we loose a child we now must live in the image of them,,,to remind ourselves of their existance. Prayers for you, from here. Crow. LFFL

 

Very VERY sorry for your loss!

 

I can't truly understand you pain.... But trust in the Lord and he will give you strength.

 

I feel for you. My 30 yr old brother died on Wednesday morning and it's been unbearably hard for me, I can't imagine what my parents are going through. Stay strong and try to remember the good times. That's what I'm trying to do.

 

I hope you find peace. It is easy to second guess ourselves and circumstances which we have no control of. Focus on the positive times and God bless your son.

 

My condolences. We are supposed to outlive our children, and when that doesn't happen, well, we suffer. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child. My heart goes out to you, hang in there.

Carl

 

My brother -in-law took his life four years ago (12/01/2007) and he was like a brother to me. You need to remember the good times and do not ask "woulda-
coulda's" because you'll only beat yourself up over it. My condolensces to you
and your family and may time heal your wounds! Mark

 

Sorry, thinking of you my friend...

 

sorry for your loss man. its hard not to think of the shoulda couldas but you just have to keep living for those still here and remember all the good times you had.

 

I know personally your pain....an I am so..so..sorry for your loss.I know there is not a day that goes by that you don't re live the terror of that day 3 years ago.I know you Love your Son an he Loves you,it's up to us to keep there Memory Alive an share the Best of them to the world......I know all this because I lost My son Shelby 2 years ago the 15th of December at the age of 23.Spread the news of Suicide Awareness.....tell folks to Love on there family,friends an strangers.Tell them to listen to an really care for what they are saying,listen real close!!They are telling you that they don't want to die,they want to live!!It's just they don't know how to go on.Please HAMBERS we all can make a difference!!

 

I can't even begin to understand how painful this must be for you, or to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I just hope you and your family take some comfort in remembering the good times you had together and the belief you will all get to see each other one day again.

Please don't beat yourself up too bad about what you could have done differently. The reality is, we all make our own choices for our own reasons, and sometimes no one can change our mind. Everyone who has been in your shoes goes through exactly the same agony and doubts.

We hope you and your family finds peace.

Don

 

I have been through the loss of a daughter and had a niece killed herself, What helped me was just trying to remember the good times. Prayers are with you from here.

 

Oldfart,
Sadly I too personally know of what you speak. No one can understand the termoil you go through on a day to day basis unless they have walked a mile in our shoes. My brothers daughter was murdered 20 years ago and I never really understood how he felt until I lost my son last year, now I do understand and have a deeper respect for my brother. I do know that both my wife and I have been going to a support group and that has helped us a bunch in our trying to understand it. It is amazing to me how many are out there who are going through the same thing and it sure does help to be able to talk to someone who really gets it. It is also amazing how friends don't realize that we don't have a disease that is catching, sometimes we just need a friend to talk to .................My sincerest condolences on the loss of your son may you find peace Carl

 

i don't know that i could ever handle something like that. i'm a young guy and a year and a few months ago i lost a friend who didn't even reach 20. my first experience with the death of a friend. but i know there were some awesome times between me and him and that's how i deal with it mostly, thinking of the things that made me laugh when he was around, and i'm sure for you, the things that made you proud as a father. God bless

 

10 yrs this year for me.
As you are learning every year improves. We loose a part of our being. Never the same.
When we hear of another parent losing a child we re-live the misery. We've become a united group. One group no one wants to join.
Holidays are the worst. Keep your chin up! You doing good.

 

My condolences to you. Life is full of strange and hurtful happenings that we never will understand.
May God Bless his soul, as well as you and all your family.

 

nothing worse than having your child make that decision. It is terrifing , as a parent, thinking have I givin them the proper tools and encuragement? I feel soo sorry for those that have suffered this loss.

 

Bless you brother.

I've been burying friends at a rapid clip for the last few years and I'm getting tired of it.....I'm only 42.

As weird as it sounds, I find some peace in the fact that death is something that we all will deal with, it's just some sooner than others. I sincerely believe that I'll see them all again one day when my time comes.

Until then, I try to enjoy each day and moment that I have. I'm sure that those who've passed on would certainly want it that way.

 

Im so sorry for your loss...just try to keep moving,one step at a time....

 

hang in there bud! i lost my daughter at 12 years old in 1996, house fire, anyway you lose a child is the worst possible thing in your life. there are no words possible to describe it, and the pain never really is totally gone, but you have to think of the good times you had. life will get better if your positive. im sure you have many more things in life to be positive for. head up, hang in there.

 

Just keep moving forward, the memory of your son and the good times will always be with you. I am sure it hurts very much.

As for the a..hole I sometimes wonder if the darkness in peoples hearts is simply a reflection of some hurt that they cannot deal with. Not making excuses because I just cannot imagine how anyone would be that cruel.

All the best to you and your family.

 

Still in my thoughts and prayers....

 

One day at a time, ................ just hang in there ! We are all wired different, so
when you get depressed, get very busy doing something, anything, preferably something meaningful to you .

firstnomad