O.T. Don't ask me how I know...

Time to play "Don't Ask Me How I know..."

Don't ask me how I know that your mouth is not a suitable fixture for clamping a Mag-Lite when working outside at night.
Don't ask but I can tell you this, I could have finished my truck with what I'm paying for this work

What's even worse is I've done this before but with less dramatic effects. At some point you have to learn from your mistakes.

The only good thing is the Oral Surgeon is a pretty hot babe.

NEXT!

 

HAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha!

Can't be a good sign. Almost done that myself a couple of times.


jerry

 

Tell her you're a "Hockey Player"!

Any thing has got to be better than the truth...!!!!

 

I can honestly tell you JB Weld is unsuitable for tooth repair.

 

Neither is Devcon epoxy, but a Dremel tool is handy for taking down sharp edges. Hot or not I can't believe she would be attracted to toothless guys with spittle running down there chin.

 

Okay, it's KILLING me.........howdja do it??


I keep a small Mag Lite just for that reason. It's my "hands free" model. I just wrap the end in electrical tape to prevent slipping or my teeth grinding against the metal and away I go. I figure I've had worse things in my mouth then black tape.

xxx
Brandy

 

Ouch, I just put the maglite in my mouth the day before last and chipped my front tooth. Jeez That had to hurt.

 

damn,,what are you guys doing ? bitting down???? its metal!!!!hahahahaha

 

Ouch.

With those shadows an your jaw in the pic- I thought it was a screen shot from "Mystery Science Theater 3000"....

 

perfect time for the gold replacment tooth! I'm going out to bite on my mag light right now you lucky bastard!

 

Turn the camera around and post a picture of the oral surgeon.

Sorry about your tooth-You should try something like a miner's helmut with the light mounted on the front.

 

if you're putting maglites in your mouth, i'd kinda wonder about your sexuality.

 

I feel no sexual attraction regarding the Mag-Light. In fact I have completely objectified it and only see it in terms utility and function. The Mag-Lite is satisfied with this arrangement although I believe that it overstepped personal boundries when it failed to yield to my bite and actually resisted resulting in dental fracture and accompanying temporary "Jack O Lantern" condition.

Idealy the Mag-light should have materially submitted to me but I admit that I had not given any clear indication of this scenario until it came time to unbolt that rusty tailgate.
I did get to enjoy the unique bright and dry sound of a snapping tooth resonating from inside my apparently empty head.

Enough about me. What I want is for you all to take the ball here and run with it and inform the rest of us how you acquired those unique and hard won knowledge especially that in regards to cars, tools, machines, social stratification, indoctinational proceedures, rituals, folkways, mannerisms and nervous tics if you have them. Feel free to include animals, cops and alcohol.

I started a similar thread 6 or 8 months ago which got a fair number of contributions many of which referenced face and scalp injuries.

Put your stupidity and jackassedness to the benefit of all humankind.

 

what about stories involving fireworks?

 

Thanks! I'm feeling virtually pain free thanks to these pills the Dr. gave me.
I'm going back in next week so I'll be sure to get a photo as well as one of this particularly nasty looking syringe that she jabbed into the roof of my mouth.

Pyrotechnics and anything else involving flame and fire is welcome.

 

You want stupid. I was trying to open the door on my industrial fridge at work, but because of the suction I couldn't get it to open. So I put my might into it and WHAM! smacked myself in the face with the door. I spun around, looked at my Budweiser driver, said Wes, I don't feel so good and passed out or knocked myself out rather. When I came to, I had split my lip and needed sutures to hold my face together. It was hot. Like the Bride of Frankenstien.

xxx
Brandy

**if it makes ya feel any better, I thought I had broke a tooth as well.**

 

i have one of these, kinda lame but it works.............i was affraid i might choke on my light.

 

Dont ask my idiot friend under the influence of Bud if its a good idea to use a vacuum cleaner to assist in syphoning gas out of a car! The fumes expand at a great rate of knots when exposed to the electric brushes of the motor.
I think the expansion rate was 10X RPM x time of day x beer consumed. Needless to say the vac went into orbit and burst into many pieces. Luckily no one was hurt.
DADSEH

 

1oldtimer, that really looks cute! I somehow had you pictured as an older guy,but what the heck!

 

Don't ask me how I know: Working on cars with long hair is painful. 11 years ago I had a..a..mullet! (yeah...I'm gonna get reamed for this). I was at the shop alone at night putting the tranny back into my 3W (previous car). A friend had decided to impress me with his starting line launch procedure, and sheared the teeth offa 1st gear. So I'm under the car with the tranny on a floor jack lining it into position and I wedged it against the floor of the car. I need to drop the jack down a little, but the handle is out of reach. So I go to get out from under to do it and realize the wheels of the jack have rolled onto my hair. No one around so I had to pull a chunk of hair out! Damn that hurt! Needless to say, today I am mulletless. Let the reaming begin!

 

So I'm at work, grinding a little bit off a bracket. Well the piece was kinda small and I figured of course I can hold it, I don't need Vise-Grips. Oh how wrong I was... I dropped the bracket when it got hot (didn't think ahead there either) and stopped the grinder with my thumb - I don't mean by hitting the off switch.

I could see all the layers of my skin like tree rings. Took about 3/8" off the end of my thumb, ground into the fingernail, and left a flat spot about the size of a dime where my flesh used to be. Upon witnessing all the carnage, all my buddy said was, "That's gottta hurt." and walked away. It didn't hurt then, but it was a throbbing around 2 AM.

9 weeks later I finally had a fully formed digit back. Kids, don't try this at home. Do it at work so they have to pay the doctor bill.

 

And I had just complimented you on how wise you were!

 

Yeah, and to think I passed at the chance to rag on you about your mullet.

 

gotta stay in shape for the board...............plus i just washed my mullet.

 

i've had the hair in the creeper bit also (also had the bald spot to prove it). here's one, i was at work late (11:30pm or so), i was changing a u-joint on a friends el camino, no press so i was using 2 sockets and a vice. the freind was holding the end of said driveshaft as i was cranking on the vice. heard a pop, my friend dropped the shaft and was saying owww my finger. i turned to see his little scrape as he staired at me, i asked "what" and he justed pointed at my face. went over to the mirror and looked at the blood leaking from above my eye. i thought i felt something hit my head when i heard the pop, well the socket broke into two pieces and i now have a cresent shaped scar just above my right eye. the really funny part is that it was 2 days before xmas.

 

That sucks! I just got back from fixing a 14 year old girls lower front teeth on a Saturday because her dipshit brother aimed an umbrella at her and pushed the button to open it...the thing packed a hell of a punch...popped off half of her lower left canine and lateral incisor.... You have competition for who has the best story.
Since I read recently that New York City is about the only place that has higher dental fees than San Fran I thought I would do some charity work for ya If you want a silouette of the State of California with a diamond about where San Fran is...thats extra.

P.s. sorry for picking on ya when your down... but it was too irrisistable
Implant?

 

I wonder if the surgeon knows everything there is to know about oral

 

1. Don't bake VHT header paint in the wife's oven, makes baked goods taste funny.
2. Don't wash starters, generators, alternators in dish washer. It leaves skudge inside that covers plates, glasses and utensils for a long time.
3. Don't wash carburetors in the dishwasher, it's worse than starters, generators, etc.
4. Don't wash your red rags in the wife's washer right before she washes her new white blouse. No explanation needed.
5. Don't wash your red rags in the wife's washer using gasoline, sets fire to house, blows doors off room and breaks arms of idiot that was doing this until he raised lid to check progress and spark started sequence of events. Former customer pulled this stupid stunt, broke both arms, one rib, and burned off most of his hair.
6. Don't try to check oil level on hard to start worn out oil burning lawn mower while mower is running.
7. Don't try to watch action of dishwasher by tripping interlock with door open.
8. Don't drag engine home from junk yard on pallet because none of your friends were available to haul it for you. Friend received ticket for this act of heroism.
9. Don't pull driveshaft from car on slope without first blocking wheels. (Idiot Brother in Law)
10. Don't use cut down model airplane prop on all thread in drill press set on double high speed to stir paint. Time to paint ceiling, floor, drill press, and me was less than 2 seconds.

Experience is a good teacher, unfortunately a lot of experience is gained from doing stupid things with little or no fore thought.


dave