Letters from the Dez - Part 2

Meant to get this posted last Monday, but after the long weekend didn't get to it.
Anyhoo . . . here tis . . . pay attention . . . lots of hard-earned information here....


Wife Points
Learn how to check the oil and coolant in your car.
While you’re under the hood, get used to looking at things and see if anything looks out of place.
There’s a lot of stuff under there, but after a while you’ll get a feel for how it’s supposed to look.
Sometimes you can catch things going wrong before they totally conk out.
Your husband will be most impressed.
And appreciative . . . especially if you do it fairly regular.

Some women and some men ignore the fluid levels in their cars and blithely drive onward.
I think it’s because they view their cars pretty much as they view an appliance.
“Darned thing oughta work, we paid enough for it”.

Most men are fairly astute about mechanical things.
Even those who aren’t, will appreciate your ***istance in the maintenance of your car.
Do know that oil is the lifeblood to your cars well-being.
.Without oil, bad things can happen to your checkbook....

Wife points aren’t too hard to come by.
Just doing the little things that wives do so well makes us happy.
There are so many they do, I’m not even going to try and list them.

I’ll just say it this way.
If your wife is your best friend and you’d still rather spend time with her than anyone else you are truly fortunate.
Having a happy and cheerful life companion has to be one of Gods rewards.
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Good Drivers and Really Good Drivers
Most men enjoy driving their cars.
Especially a car that’s a tad sporty and fun to drive.
Kinda stirs up the old juices and makes for good feelings.

Most men think that women drive their cars simply to get somewhere.
And usually they do.
A lot of women like driving a car that’s a tad sporty and fun to drive, but a lot of them won’t admit it.

Sweetie and I bought a stick shift Mustang GT a few years back.
I wanted a performance vehicle that would be fun to drive.
She just wanted a nice car and thought the Mustang was cute.
Contrary to what a lot of guys think about women driving stick shift cars, she had no trouble with it and drove right off.
I found later that she really enjoyed driving “her” Mustang and would occasionally make full use of all the horsepower under the hood.
Even to the point of dusting off a sporty type Mercedes with it at the stoplight gran prix second day we owned it.

I finally put two and two together when I was trying to figure out why the left front tire was wearing out much faster than the other three.
She just happened to mention that she liked to bomb around the corners on the freeway on-ramps - all right turns - and accelerate hard onto the straights.
To blend in with the traffic as she put it.
That was the answer to that question.
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*** in the Modern Era and *** in Neanderthal times
So, what’s the big difference?
Not a whole lot I think.
In fact, I think we have it better today than Neanderthal man did.

Generally speaking, Neanderthal man had access to *** more times than perhaps modern man does.
Elevator *** doesn’t count here.

Neanderthal man had taboos, which were good for the furtherance of the species and other rules he probably followed.
He mated at an early age and stayed with his mate for his entire life.
Course then, life was short and tough and just dealing with one woman was probably enough to keep him happy.

Seems too that he had the opportunity to pursue other potential partners.
Maybe this was frowned upon by tribal mores, probably not.
The good old double standard was more than likely solidly in place even at this early age.
Early man was not about to give this up.

Not much of a mystery about *** either.
Bodies were pretty much naked most of the time and *** probably took place in the communal dwelling place.
There may have been a bit of a chase, but foreplay was probably not in his vocabulary, let alone his thoughts.
Since women had not been exposed to foreplay, aside from possible tribal rituals which took its place during feast times and other celebrations, they probably didn’t know what they were missing.
More than likely though, they were left wondering why the men had such a great time during *** and that it seemed a bit unfair.
“It looks like fun”.
Why am I not having any?

Probably the greatest discovery by women, in the field of ***, was mystery.
Women developed interesting clothing as a result and early man had to wonder at what was going on under there.
Lord knows, modern man does plenty of wondering in this area.

Sometimes I wonder where the modern woman’s bathing suit is going.
Every time I think, “that’s it, can’t get any skimpier,” they do.
Kind of like having Christmas with all the presents already unwrapped.

Some of the gals ought to remember the mystery part.
Modern man may protest, but he really does like his women covered up a bit.
When it finally gets down to it, removing a woman’s clothing is like Christmas and your birthday all rolled into one.
Woman, in her kindness, allows us to experience great joyfulness here.
And if you, man, don’t enjoy it as you should, then you really are not too smart and perhaps do not deserve the gift at hand.
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Modern woman probably wonders why men are such blithering idiots at times.
It’s simply that a well turned out woman, regardless of the season, time of day or mode of dress is very appealing.
And we men get confused easily.
One point for the women.

Modern man should learn to watch women carefully.
There’s a lot of body language going on there.
Especially if she considers you a potential partner.
Even husbands can be considered as potential partners if they have enough husband points in the bank.
By potential partners I don’t mean your wife or girlfriend is going home with somebody else.
Just that your odds for an interesting and pleasant evening can be increased by simply paying attention.
Unless you threw away all your hard earned husband points by a careless comment or gesture.
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Body language is a whole science unto itself.
Not being well versed in the study of same, I can just report on what I see.
Course like any other man, I’ve got opinions.
And like any other man, some of them are wrong, so don’t take this stuff as gospel.
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Remember the little discussion on treating women well?
Here’s something for you to think about.
Think back to when you first met and how you acted while trying to make a favorable impression.
Well groomed were you?
Well dressed too?
Had good manners?
And used them?

Been married for 25-30 years or more?
Still have good manners?
Still use them?
Especially where your wife is concerned?
Whole lotta questions, right?

If not, get off your dead *** and start acting like a gentleman.
If you already do, then you’re running in a small crowd and nothing further to say here.
Open the door for your wife.
Close it behind her.
Walk with her to the car and listen to what she has to say.
Open the car door.
Once she’s seated, wait for purse, dress, whatever, to be out of the way, lock and close the door.
It’s a clear message.
Closing the door carefully and locking it indicates to her that she’s very valuable to you.
And she is.
Do the same basic things when you arrive at your destination.

Bonus points if her girl friends witness it.
Loss of husband points for your male friends.
Hell with em.
This is, in effect a compe***ion, and we men are very compe***ive, right?
Casting yourself in a favorable light with your lovely wife goes a long way toward increasing the opportunities for an interesting evening later on.
This, however is not what it’s all about.
Part is, I grant, but what you’re doing here is making life with your partner more joyful at all times.

Whether you realize it or not, your wife is proud of you.
You may not think you are handsome or skilled or smart enough or any of that stuff.
More than likely your wife does.
Rest ***ured that the little gestures, the politeness, treating her like a lady will be reported in a favorable light to her friends.
More loss of husband points for their husbands.
Hopefully they’ll wise up, if not, too bad.
Their ignorance is not your concern.
Make your wife the center of your world and rest ***ured that you will be the center of hers.
It’s a nice place to be.
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Random Thoughts
Toilet seats.
One of those age old arguments.
Which of course begs the question of why women don’t put the seat up when they’re done.
The argument always is that men should put it down.
Well, that’s reasonable, and being gentlemen we should do that.
I think the real truth to the whole situation is; there is not a woman in the world that hasn’t fallen into the toilet by not noticing the seat was up.

The problem was pretty much cured at my house by telling the wife that I left it up so that spiders didn’t move in underneath the seat.
What thinking woman is going to use the toilet without looking under the seat for the fearsome little devils?
May as well just leave it up.

Course the part of this that I hadn’t figured out beforehand, is that I now check underneath the seat before I use it.
Hoist by my own petard so to speak.....
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The Tribe
About the girl with the big nose.
Or perhaps people really are strange at first.
Meet someone for the first time and many times the thought is that they are a bit strange looking.
It’s not a bad thing to think, they’re probably thinking the same thing about you.
Once you get to know them a bit and find out they really are a fine person and especially when you get to be good friends, their physical appearance now looks very normal.
Thing is, when you first meet, they are effectively from another tribe.
After you know them for a while, they are now members of your own tribe.
With their great smile and great personalities any physical defect you thought they had is no longer visible.
Don’t think so?

A small test for the guys.
For the girls too, if you can be objective.
I think you can.

Take a look at a high school cheerleader or photo of same.
This can be from somebody’s yearbook, newspaper, whatever.
Just as long as she is a stranger to you.
In some cases, a somewhat plain girl, right?
Nothing like the beauties you went to school with, right?
Now, try hard to be objective, drag out your yearbook and peruse the cheerleaders in there.
Pretty much the same girls, right?
So what happened?
Simple, you knew these girls, you knew their nice personalities, their nice smiles and their winning ways.
The fact that they were desired by all the other males in school adds a bit to the equation too.
Same thing with the other cheerleaders.
You don’t know them, so you can’t really judge.
Exchange the word cheerleader with any other word that describes people and you’ll find the same to be true.
Probably goes a long way toward explaining the “what does he/she see in her/him”.
When we see strangers as pairs or couples we don’t know them.
They, more than likely, see only the best in the other.
We should be so lucky....
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Just Stuff
The dog and the sandwich.
A moral dilemma, but not for long.
At least not for the dog.
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Golf pencils are great for woodwork.
Never used em much in golf.
Got to be a lot more fun when I quit keeping score.
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Most people will tell you they like all kinds of music.
Usually though, they listen to one type most of the time.
My favorite is rock and roll, with some R&amp;B tossed in.
I like the cl***ics too, but most times simply do not know what to buy.
I have been learning a bit about Italian Opera and at times will have it cranked up on the garage stereo now and then.
Good stuff.

While Puccini’s La Boheme was playing, my country music loving neighbor came by to see how the latest project was going.
He asked why I didn’t play cowboy music.
I told him it was cowboy music.
What else would Italian Cowboys listen to?
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So who’s really vain?
Men or women?
Seems to me it’s the men.
Witness the time spent grooming and combing hair in a public restroom.
Specially when on a date.
Ever notice that it’s the women who are waiting outside the restroom when the men come out?
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Like the double standard just fine?
Wait till you have daughters.

Don’t know where the double standard quote came from, just tossed it out at a married guy at work who was drooling over the good looking Fed-Ex girl in the power station.
He was doing the Beavis &amp; ****head imitation.

It’s easy to admire women and easy to do it like a gentleman.
Some of the comments I overhear sometimes kinda set me off.
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War Stories
And what’s with the braggadocio about drinking and being drunk?
The drink, puke and be a man bit?
Some think it’s a male bonding ritual.
Maybe.

I think it’s because a lot of guys have never really had any adventures and don’t have much else to talk about.
Hopefully this was not the high spot in their lives.
Ancient man did drink and become drunk
Seems in most cases it was after the hunt, especially if it was a successful one.
After the hunt was just an early form of the BBQ.
Many tellings and re-tellings of the story of the hunt probably elevated it to a form of small legend after a while.
Ancient war stories so to speak.

And war stories are not always about war, just interesting things that have happened to the tellers of said stories.
Amazing part for me is some who repeat them.
I like to repeat the good ones and always point out that they belong to someone else who is usually not identified.
Unless they were heroic and deserve credit.

Some of the repeaters of these tales claim them as their own.
Imagine my surprise when I heard a co-worker telling one of my stories, claiming it as his own.

Ever notice how a story has 3 versions?
All told by the same person.
Take a fender-bender as an example.
The tale goes something like this:
The story teller is late to work as they were involved in a minor collision.
The initial story is told.
All witnesses listen quietly and closely.
Perhaps a question or two at the end of the telling.
Then the complete story with all the details, a much longer version.
Not too many questions from the onlookers now.
Finally, the summary of the story.
By this time the onlookers have wandered away and the storyteller sometimes gets a new crowd of onlookers and starts the whole process over again.
Understandable as it’s a big event in the lives of most people.
Thing that never seems to fail is the three tellings.
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Car stuff
A lot of guys see you working on a hot rod or similar long term project and once they find out how much time is involved, they sometimes think we are a little “off”.
My answer to them is: If building a hot rod takes me 3 years, then that’s what it takes.
At the end of the 3 years I’ll have a hot rod and what will you have?
3 years worth of sitting on the couch, drinking beer and watching football.

So - the single guy buys himself a nifty Corvette or Porsche or similar in an effort to attract women.
In most cases, it works quite well.
The ladies are usually impressed by a nifty car.

Course the interesting part is after the marriage.
The wife usually ends up with the best car.
And the guy gets the wife’s old car, which in many cases is a bit of a clunker.
No wonder he has a small tear in his eye as he watches what used to be “his” car drive off.

It is better that way though.
Better to worry about your mode of transportation than to worry about having your wife get stuck somewhere.

Then a little further into the marriage, kids or not, but usually due to kids, the requirement for a sensible car arises.
This is the point where the guy realizes he is truly married.
Once you’ve got that four door, there is no turning back.
With the kids grown and hopefully moved out, the guy gets another sporty car.
Wives occasionally protest a bit, but secretly enjoy the car and the fact that hubby gets another shot at a sporty car.
For most, it’s not a mid-life crisis or a return to a youthful past.
The darned things are simply fun to drive.

Since history always repeats itself, it’s not long until the wife is driving the sporty car.
And the guy is standing there with a small tear in his eye as he watches what used to be “his” car drive off....
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Why women go crazy
My dad was a good cook.
One of my favorite memories was when he would cook Sunday morning breakfast.
Some of them were quite spectacular.
Of course we drove mom nuts when we asked her why she couldn’t cook like that every day.

During a recent BBQ, Sweetie asked why is it, that whenever a BBQ is held the women do all the work and the guys just cook the meat and get all the credit?
I told her that when the BBQ is a failure it’s the women who get blamed.
The old double standard is still alive and well....

My wife likes things organized, neat, orderly and clean.
Organized is about it for me, although my garage/shop is quite well organized, fairly neat and somewhat orderly, but not always clean.
What the heck, why clean it up all the way?
It’s just gonna get dirty tomorrow.

Anyway, she always likes for me to empty out my travel kit soon after arriving at home after a trip.
I used to be very bad about doing so and just lived out of the kit with it sitting on the side of the sink.
That’s neat, organized and orderly, right?

After more than a few complaints, and to be fair they were spaced weeks apart.
As well as being neat, organized and orderly she is very patient.
Lucky for me.

What finally worked out for both of us was that I fell back on the sneaky husband bit.
Since she had ordered the very nice travel kit from Lands End, I simply ordered another one identical to the first.
Then, right after arrival at home I pull the spare travel kit out and stick the for real and loaded to the gills travel kit in the drawer and work out of that.
The spare goes on the sink and she packs it neatly away somewhere.
That way I get credit for being neat, organized and orderly and also get to go on with my for real life as a bit of a slob.
Course, the little failing in all this is probably gonna be when I get caught with both kits....

While riding my TT500 dirt bike during a weekend campout in the California Dez, the K&amp;N filter breather came unglued.
This was not the air filter but the filter to the 3/4" or so ID crankcase breather line. Knowing these things will allow the engine to ingest dirt etc. if left open it looked like my weekend ride was finished..
Thinking about it a bit, I went over to where the girls were at the morning campfire and asked to borrow a pair of my wife's *******. The silence was deafening and the stares were intense. I got a pair, folded them a few times and tie-wrapped them to the end of the breather. They worked well and I found no dirt in the breather line when I got home. I think some of the girls were beginning to wonder for a while.
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Things I always wondered about
The Indians never attacked until the end of Gene Autry’s singing.
Roy Rogers clothes were always clean even after a fight on a muddy river bank.
The guy with the gun always drops it during a fight.
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Roadster stuff
Went home the long way as it was now dark and temps in the mid 80's.
Sometimes driving the roadster on the country roads, running about 60 mph, cruising along in the dark, motor hummin along, soft wind through the ****pit, dim glow from the instruments and seeing only a few lights in the distance, it feels like you’re floating through space.
All in all, a nice little run.
Just kinda close your eyes and imagine this one in a Hemi powered coupe singin down the Kansas flatlands.
Kinda neat, right?
Your turn is coming.

Kinda sad that the garage queen guys never do this.
All their driving seems to be in the day time.
That’s when the trophies are out.....

Gots to go.
Sweetie’s ready, roadsters ready, I’m not.
And they say women are the late ones.......
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The Hunter-Gatherer Society
Sounds like the girls were fulfilling their ancient obligations.
Not obligations so much, just living up to their role as gatherers in a hunter/gatherer society.
Of which we still are.
Man’s still the hunter and that’s pretty much the way it is.
And one reason we talk and think quite differently from the women.
Men deal with many silent and unspoken signals as part of the hunting process.
Women being more outgoing and more communicative share things much better.
The shopping thing is simply modern society’s way of fulfillment for the gatherer.
Seems too, they are just as happy when a small thing is found.
Or a big thing.
Whichever.

When you look closely at the gathering end of it, it’s a form of hunting too.
Probably a bit more social and fun.
Man’s hunting is more serious and that’s probably the reason for the typical male silence.
Going to the office is hunting, although today it’s probably not wise to carry a spear to work.
Even though it would be most useful....

And don’t ask me where that came from.
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Life’s little lessons
Sorta like sailing in a storm.
First time I found myself out in the ocean with 10 mph winds I was worried and got through that ok.
Then 20 mph winds.
Got through those ok.
Then we got caught at anchor and small craft warnings started flying up &amp; down the coast and we had a wild sail home.
Got through there too.
Even got through some even bigger storms.
What I’m saying here is, after experiencing the small craft warning winds and worse, the 15 mph ones were no big deal.
Same with the rest.
Course what kills you is doing the big storm first....
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More on women, a most fascinating subject
The wild man and the woman kinda fall back to the forbidden fruit theory.
If I can’t have it, then I really want it.
I was always amazed at the way some guys treated some really nice girls and that said girls went along with it.
Part of it is, the girls did not value themselves highly enough to realize they deserved somebody better than the local jerk.
Handsome devil though, he may be.
There’s not enough love to go around when you’re dating someone in love with himself....
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My somewhat technically oriented, used to be all-male job started getting women in as co-workers.
We found that they did just as good a job as the men and in many cases a much better job.

A couple of interesting comments made by a female co-worker were:
To look good in this job, all you had to do was - the job.
Meaning that, a lot of guys were so busy dinking around, that just doing the job made her look good.

The other was one that’s been voiced by many women.
To appear even with a 100% effort male worker, women have to work at the 200% level.
Thought about it for a while, and it’s very true.
Too bad we didn’t have female bosses in my department.
At least the female employee would have been recognized for doing 200% of the work.
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Dealing with women
When they don’t feel good.
Ask em how they’re doing, sometimes an ok answer, most times a rebuke because you asked too early.
Well, I’m smart, since I got chewed out, I’ll be sure and wait a while before I ask tomorrow.
Wrong.
Wait too long and you’re in trouble again.
Women play men like a musician plays a fine instrument.
They are so skilled and so knowledgeable that men don’t stand a chance.
Women are the virtuoso of their chosen instrument.

Women know style.
For the most part, they use it to control men.
Surely you didn’t think plunging necklines and the like were invented by men do you?
Women know how to dress, what to wear and when to wear it.
And they don’t wear that junk from the male designers of weird women’s clothing.
The generally European designer who designs clothing for women as a form of subtle revenge.
Some of this stuff is so stupid that no right thinking woman is going to wear it.
Especially when she wants to attract a man.

Wearing the Annie Hall look, the multi-layered got it out of a trash bin look, well I’m not sure what to say there.
I just ***ume that any woman that dresses like that has PMS and doesn’t want to deal with men.
Or anybody else for that matter.

And what is the deal with PMS anyway?
Women get all these nifty terms to explain away why they’re having a bad day.
Men?
Us men?
All we get are the dumb and dumber labels.
Not guaranteed to impress many women.
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Speaking for myself, I never know quite what to do when talking with a woman wearing a provocatively plunging neckline.
Surely the lovely female bosom is being offered up for our approval.
But then, if we look and get caught, we lose points and slip a notch in the eyes of women.
How can we not look?
Men are designed that way.
Women know it - and take advantage.

Perhaps my friend put it best when he said, “all men want is a cold beer and a naked woman.”
A few of the women in the group were a bit surprised, the majority just nodded their heads.
Sad, but true.
For some men, a difficult choice.
The cold beer or the naked woman.
Sorta like the old story of the Lady and the Tiger.
For me, an easy choice.
Naked women are few and far between.
A cold beer we can find anytime.
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Success in the gene pool and how it works
For a woman to be a success in the gene pool, she has to bear a child and raise it until it too, is old enough to join in the gene pool compe***ion.
She can do it herself, but having a mate while raising the young means more chances for the young to reach an age where they will be successful.
As you can see, woman has much the tougher job.

For a man to be a success in the gene pool, he has to have as many children as possible so his genes will reach out to many others thereby bringing him success.
It’s as simple as that.
No further care required.
He figures he got it started, let the woman take care of it.
And he wonders if the gang is going hunting today.

So, this is kinda the point where woman decided to make use of *** and the fact that man was always interested and most times ready.
*** was not an evolvement if that’s even a word.
It was, and is, strictly an invention created and controlled by women.
The main use, to attract a mate that looks like his genes may be good ones.
That’s why *** is such a dance.
The woman, even if definitely ready and willing to have *** is still weighing the gene potential of her potential partner.
She really doesn’t have too many chances at success in the gene pool and has to make a good choice right up front.

Not so with the man.
I’m here, I’m ready and what are we waiting for?
Patience never was one of our strong points.

Woman being generally smarter than men, and I do know that men are generally the rocket scientists, but let’s face it.
Most of these guys haven’t got a clue.
Anyway, with women being the smart ones, they discovered how to use *** to their advantage.
Doling it out in reasonable portions serves to keep men interested over a long period of time.
In fact, just about the length of time to help bring one or more of the young to maturity which is what it’s all about as far as women having success in the gene pool.

If both men and women can find love along the way, so much the better.
Nobody said it couldn’t be a good kind of relationship.

Was it Thoreau who said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation?”
Now there’s a guy who wanted to get out and do things, but never quite got around to it.
Bluntly put, Thoreau should have gotten off his duff and got with the program.
I don’t know if he was married, don’t care.
If he was, he should have learned to court his own wife.
And earned a few husband points in the process.
If not, maybe he should have either looked for adventure or looked for a mate.
Find the right girl and you can have both.


People who are permanently mad are just wasting their lives.
And most wouldn’t be happy if they did get their fondest wish.
My outlook in life is simple.
“You are your own reward.”
Simple as that.....
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Sometimes I just get tired of the allusions of past really fast cars and engines built when the truth probably is:
They never did it.
Or their friends did and they’re just riding on the coattails.
Surprising to me that coattails could last so many years.

I’m beginning to think that Sisyphus wasn’t climbing a mountain pushing a boulder at all.
He was just a husband way behind on the Honey-Do projects.

Good point on the R&amp;D.
One failure is educational.
Twice is proof that you really are stupid.
Not that I’ve ever done that .....
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Hot rodding is simply a state of mind.
If you think your car is a hot rod, it is. That's the only thing that matters. The hot rod thing is kinda primal, when you see one pull in, you know what it is. Nobody has to tell you. Screw the body style. Killer Camaro or chopped 33 coupe. Makes no difference. Hot rodding started out as an outlaw thing and some of todays outlaws are driving 10 second Toyota's.
In my view a hot rod is like the gunslinger of old. Some can shoot fast. Some can shoot straight. And some you better not mess with.
Show up in the right car and you don't have to race anybody.
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Color me confused
Young women always seem to be impressed by daring young men who partake in dangerous activities.
Sometimes marrying them.
And then spending the rest of the marriage trying to make the young man give up the very thing that attracted her to him in the first place.

They say women are confused.
Maybe.
I’m a little confused about the whole thing myself.

It’s amazing how a smart woman can gently steer us in the direction they want to go.
All the while making us think it was our idea.

Seems like there’s a fine line between suicide and adventure.
I suppose you could color me confused, but the shade is closer to cynical....
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Things that work and things that don’t work.
How do you get a stereo for the garage? Easy. It's a two-fer. You get husband points and a stereo. Buy the wife a nice stereo, even if you're the one who uses it the most, it's her stereo. Let a couple of years go by. Upgrade "her" equipment. Stick the old equipment in the garage. Works really well.

But not as good as the Remington 20 gauge automatic bother-in-law bought for my sister a few years back.
He figured he'd use it now and then. I think we all see the flaw here. Sister, no dummy she, has never let him use the 20 gauge for anything. About all bother-in-law got out of the deal was a "nice try" label hung on hisself.....
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If you write a line you like and use it again, is it plagiarism?
Phrased another way - is it plagiarism if you steal from yourself?
Surely not, for the audience, if attentive, will know what you did and either feel cheated or be bored.
It’s not like cheating at solitaire, but maybe it’s very close...
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For sure a lot of folks simply trudge down the ruts of life, never looking up, never questioning, never learning anything new.
Some of them are pretty smart, but they must lead a dreary existence.
Their life, their choice.

Just opinions that others take as fact.
That old saying about the blind leading the blind didn’t come around by accident....
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I was beyond cussing.
Sweetie thought I was very mature to hold my temper like that.
I didn’t tell her that some things are beyond cussing and hollering.
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Somebody made the comment, that even though I’m not over the hill, I’m rapidly approaching the summit.
Maybe.
From where I stand, the past is easily seen and the path to the future is clear.
Even if it is downhill, it’s gonna be one hell of a ride....
<>

What is that little bit about getting smart as you get older?
It’s a definite requirement.
I see young guys teasing the lions now and then.
Never seen an old guy tease the lions, not up close anyhow.......
<>

Interesting thing about the hot rod biz is that the cars are pretty much judged on the paint.
That’s one thing every body is an expert on.
The judging part anyway...
<>

All wishful thinking for sure.
Never can tell though, stranger things have happened.
For me - heck, I don’t want to be famous, I just want the money.
Sounds like something John Dillinger would have said.
<>

Homegrown Quotes
Never let a plan get in the way of a good time.
(Australian saying attributed to Peter “Carps” Carpenter of Australia.)
<>

Life is a balancing act.
(A quote by Kerry Goertzen of Kansas, a dare to be different kind of guy with a Chrysler Hemi powered 31 Pontiac coupe.)
<>

You can always find home when you travel in circles.
<>

Sorta like running up against a gunslinger that had a double barreled 12 gage hidden behind his back.
Surprise....
<>

The customers not always right, but the customer is always the guy with the money.
<>

Trouble with life is, by the time you get it figured out pretty well, it’s mostly over.
<>

Words of admiration are truly, more precious than gold.
The gold is soon gone, but the memory of a few well spoken words lingers forever.
<>

Sometimes we forget that there is a good reason for the fork in the road.
<>

Experts are guys &amp; gals who’ve made three or more of an item.
<>

The other definition of an expert is the rep who’s more than 20 miles from the factory.
<>

Kinda like reading about a war, and then being in one with real live bullets flying around.
What the hecks that buzzing noise?
<>

Some people go through life burning one bridge after another.
The best part is when they burn the bridge in front of them...
<>

Actually I don’t like coffee, but I find it’s a socially acceptable way to eat sugar in public.
<>

My favorite thing about ***, is the uniform worn by the opposing team.
<>

No man ever got shot doing the dishes. A quote from Sweetie.
<>

The use of a fine tool is one of life’s pleasures.
Sometimes they seem overly expensive.
If you’re not sure and it’s a hand tool, pick it up and heft it.
They seem to fit better and if you like them better, you’ll do well with them.
It’s an old saying, but you only have to buy a good tool once.
<>

Better to be a jack of all trades, than the master of only one.
<>

You can’t go swimming if you don’t go overboard.
<>

About life - We may not have gone anywhere, but we sure had fun getting there.
<>

Man will never fly, right?
Just ask the Wright Brothers.
You’ll have to talk loud though, they’re way up there....
<>

I wouldn’t be lost if I knew where I was going.
<>

Time is a strange beast.
(Another quote by Kerry Goertzen)
<>

I have nowhere to go until tomorrow and nothing to do when I get there.
<>

You couldn’t drag me back with a fat rope. (After retiring)
<>

I like working with wood, but I find the darned stuff hard to weld....
<>

Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while.
(A quote from my dad)
<>

I knew this was whine country when I moved up here. Just didn't realize they spelled it with an H. <>

Every generation gets to lead for a while.
(Now you’ll learn what responsibility is. Geez, mom &amp; dad were right.)
<>

Youth and Skill are no match for Age and Treachery
(An old one from I know not where - always liked it though.)
<>

Time seems relative, it sure goes by faster now.
Maybe that’s why someone older seems to have so much patience.
For them, the future comes quickly.
<>

Just another small hill in the journey of life
<>

A corollary of Murphys law is:
Throw it away or give it away, you’re gonna need it.
Keep it and trip over it for months.
Or years.
<>

Sorta reminds me of the story of the decrepit, craggy faced, run down looking guy who was regaling all and sundry with his tales of wine, women and song. And then somebody pointed out that he was only 22 years old....
<>

Best surfing was always a week or two after school started.
Sometimes we couldn’t stand it and went anyway.
<>

Don’t know where time goes.
It’s just gone.
Had some yesterday, that’s gone too.
<>

Time is just natures way of keeping everything from happening at once.
(From the Steven W. Hawking book, “A Brief History of Time”.)
<>

There’s something primal about a built engine.
Seems like most guys with a least a smattering of testosterone like to hear em run.
For most women, it’s just noise....
<>

If you don’t fall down once in a while, you’re not going fast enough.
(An old dirt bike comment.)
<>

Throw mud, get dirty.
<>

A few words about TV - 200 channels and nothings on?
<>

My memory is not failing, just that there are a lot of bytes stored away.
Thing I have to do now is make lists.
That works good.
Bad part is when I go off and forget the lists.......
<>

Upholstery?
We don’t need no upholstery man, this is a Deuce....
<>

Fair is fair and true is true.
<>

You'll have to get the water cooling kit for your Visa card.
<>
Supers***ions.

Didn’t really have any, started doing one and life’s been much better ever since.
Scared to stop now.
<>

Being in love with yourself can be difficult at times.
No one else seems to understand....
<>

Hindsight works well for those who can’t look forward.
<>

It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.
<>

I ain’t crazy, just weird....
<>

Money is all he ever wanted.
Guess he figured he could buy respect.
<>

Is it m*** confusion if only one guy is doing it?????
<>

Life’s a funny trip.
We don’t know where we’ve been until we’ve gone there.
<>

So many ideas, so little time.
<>

I'd send a picture, but it would probably scare the kids and worry the wife.
<>

I wonder if I lean hard enough on this razor if I can cut my own throat.
<>

Greetings from a modern Neanderthal to Ancient Man.
Hey - how’s it going? - (See, things haven’t changed much.)
<>

Some look forward to the future, others are doomed to live in the past.
<>

Airplanes do not fall out of the sky when the engine quits. And if they did why on earth would any thinking person get in one?
<>

Just because a person is a pilot doesn’t mean they’re safe to fly with.
There are many other things that enter into it.
<>

Humor is dangerous, sometimes it works, (brilliant writing, eh.), sometimes it doesn’t. (what an idiot, eh.)
<>

Chrome’s nice, but it’s hard to admire when you’re looking up a pair of tailpipes....
<>

Hey, I know it looks like a cast iron bathtub, but it does fly.
Hard to argue with success....
<>

So how did mom know about all that stuff she warned us about?
(Paraphrased from my sister who was 14 at the time.)
<>

Children are just Barbarians in need of guidance.
<>

A man who would buy two mistresses has a fool for a customer.
<>

Guys are stupid sometimes where women are concerned.
They forget that courtship is a lifelong process.
<>

It helps a lot when your wife is your best friend.
<>

A man that would have two mistresses is truly mad.
Kingdoms and Nations have been lost for less.
<>

Time is but a river sweeping us silently to the sea.
<>

It’s not always the trees and not always the forest.
Sometimes we just can’t find the arrow.
<>

Old guys aren’t any smarter than young guys, they’ve just made more mistakes.
<>

I haven’t decided if Sweetie puts up with me or just gave up on me.
Either way, it works well and we do quite well together.
<>

Once on a roll it’s all downhill...
<>

Time is relative.
Travis’s time runs much slower than yours. (Travis is a 2 year old)
What is a moment to you is enough time for him to get himself in the middle of interesting situations.
That’s why you have kids when you’re young.
When you’re older, you can’t keep up.
At all....
<>
Some mornings it just ain't worth chewing thru the leather straps.
A quote from Enjenjo on the Rodding Round Table.
<>

He may find that age, skill and treachery far outweigh youth and desire.
<>

About dad, Mark Twain truly was right.
I’m still learning a lot.
<>

About jumping off a rock cliff into a deep pool.
Heck, the girls didn’t care whether you dived or jumped
The points awarded for bravery in the face of stupidity were all the same....
<>

Plan for the future, you sure can’t plan for the past.
But a well done past is always appreciated.....
<>

A good friend of mine, told his wife, “We’re not raising children here, we are raising young gentlemen”. ( Quote from Mike Lopez, The father of 3 fine boys. Golfer, gentleman and resident of the San Joaquin Valley.)
<>

Why is it, that in high school you couldn’t get a girl friend unless you had a car?
And once you had the car you couldn’t afford the girl friend.
(Quote from Chuck Klatt, high school car owner who had the car and the girl - Don’t ask me, I don’t know how he did it either.)
<>

The test is not that it fit and worked.
The test is that it gets to stay.
<>

Not everyone gets to marry the girl of their dreams.
I did.
Lucky me....
<>

Lotta talkers, not many doers.....
<>

The voice of experience rings loud and true.....
<>

I think I’ve used up the remainder of my 2004 allotment of bad words.
And am using credits from 2005.
<>

Your actions speak so loudly I can't hear what you're saying.
(A quote from Kerry Goertzen’s grandpa Kroeker)
<>

I remember things well and clearly. Second grade, not a problem. Just don’t ask me about yesterday.
<>

Who knows, by that time we may be able to control the weather.
Those who scoff are the same ones that said man would never fly...
<>

Life’s too short to suffer abuse at the hands of idiots, especially when you’re doing them a favor.
Am I getting a bit crusty in my old age?
<>

Life is just an IQ test.
I fear many of us are failing.
<>

Just cause you’re married is no reason to stop the courting.
The ladies always like it.
<>

Seems like too many think that at***ude is “at***ude”.
A synonym for jerkiness in my estimation.
At***ude is having a can-do and will-do outlook.
A willingness to help others.
The effort is small and the rewards great.
<>

The only people who know how to raise children have already done it.
The advice is out there if a person will listen.
In the end, we simply grow up with our children.
Scary part for most is the fear that our lack of knowledge will end up hurting the child.
Common sense usually does it, they’re little people for the most part and actually pretty tough.
They heal up much quicker than you or I.
Well, me anyway.
Seems like I get cut up easier now than I ever did.
<>

Women are kinda like the Borg.
Resistance is futile.....
<>

For sure you can’t do without the microwave.
Kinda funny, when they first came out we thought they were fast.
Now we think they’re slow.
I’m thinking a nuclear powered one would be just right.
<>

Trouble with the welfare thing is, the politico’s think the recipients are gonna love em.
The opposite is always true.
They are hated because they don’t give enough.
<>

I wonder if the guys who stand on corners and make weird noises at women think they may actually get anywhere.
Just skim off the gene pool I guess, although unlike cream, the best part doesn’t float to the top.
<>

Those who wear dresses shouldn’t walk on gl*** ceilings.
This is the thinking of a lot of corporate officers, regardless of what they say for the company party line.
Seems pretty dumb to me to toss out all that intelligence just because it comes in a different package.
<>

There’s only one man in the world who truly understands women.
And he’s lying about it.
<>

The greatest medical advance of all time was simply learning to wash our hands.
Any thinking doctor will more than likely agree.
<>

I'd say that he marched to the beat of a different drummer, but the truth is I don't think he knew where the hell the drum was.....
<>

Life travels in circles sometimes, but when the ends meet it’s always interesting.
<>

Live life. Then report what you find.
<>

Wisdom comes with age but sometimes age comes alone.
Anon.
<>

And my favorite quote of all -
"I used to know everything once, but I'm not that young anymore" From Peter “Rip” Robinson, Australian sage, thinker and all-round good guy.

***

Jay Carnine
Visalia, California
Copyright - July 1999

 

Awesome.

Where was part 1?

Cheers,

Drewfus

 

http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Board=UBB1&amp;Number=360219&amp;Forum=All_Forums&amp;Words=Letters%20from%20the%20Dez&amp;Match=Entire%20Phrase&amp;Searchpage=0&amp;Limit=25&amp;Old=2weeks&amp;Main=359675&amp;Search=true#Post360219

This ought to do it....

 

Jay, as per usual top stuff.

I've printed this out as my little MALE mind can't comprehend all of this info in one sitting, trust this is ok.

I've gotta lot to learn.....

Thanks again,

Drewfus

 

I love your writing, Jay! You've got alot of really nice thoughts and words of wisdom!

 

Wow, that was awesome. Great Reading, really got my grey matter tingling.

 

Damn-C-9 What brought that on? wanna share?

 

[ QUOTE ]
Damn-C-9 What brought that on? wanna share?


[/ QUOTE ]

Just things I think about once in a while.
There is a secret to life you know.
Soon as I figure it out, I'll share....

[ QUOTE ]
I love your writing, Jay! You've got alot of really nice thoughts and words of wisdom!

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you Miss Rocket . . . the thinking is fun, not so sure about the wisdom....

 

[ QUOTE ]
I wonder if the guys who stand on corners and make weird noises at women think they may actually get anywhere.
Just skim off the gene pool I guess, although unlike cream, the best part doesn’t float to the top.


[/ QUOTE ]
I guess the gene pool is sorta like making a good stock. You let it simmer for a while and the s*** floats to the surface to be s****ed off. Then just let it cook. But if you leave the s*** in place, you can pitch the lot cause it's gonna be nasty.


Neat stuff Jay.

 

Looking for Model A body dimensions using the search function, and I came across this.
You're going to need a cuppa to get through it, but some of it's worth reading.
Now, back to my search.

 

Well, unfortunately, he's p***ed. But nice effort for someone else.

 

Yeah Jay is no longer with us, but he was an author of note, and his writings here were the stuff of Hamb Legend.......sometimes folks do remember what we write.