Hot Rods Something I found interesting

Oh my.............

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer and a mop."

 

I was going to tell a duck joke, but instead I might just increase my post count. Anyone know how to do that?

 

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." The duck shakes his feathers, quacks, and leaves. The next day the duck walks into the bar and says, "Got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you come back, I'll nail your beak to the bar!" The duck shakes his feathers, quacks, and leaves. The very next day the bartender notices the duck back at the bar and says, "All right wise guy, what is it today?" The duck says, "Got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Got any bread?"

 

I thought you smelled tired.

 

WOW, not only increased it, but DOUBLED it. Good call

 

I prolly should have renewed my Alliance Membership before I posted this =)

 

What is red and green and goes 200 miles an hour?


A frog in a blender! At least it is not a duck joke!

 

19 and counting, I am going to dream about the ross sisters all night now.

 

A man in the hospital has a oxygen mask over his mouth, a nurse walk in to empty his bed pan, the man says " are my testicles black". Nurse replies " sir I am just here to empty bed pan. Man says again " are my testicles black". once again nurse says " I am just here to empty bed pan. Again man says " are my testicles black". So the nurse finally pulls up the mans gown and grabs his penis and pulls it up cups his balls and looks all over them. Nurse says " Sir they look fine to me". The man pulls the oxygen mask off and says" that was very nice mam but are my test results back."

 

Next day the nurse walks in and says "you got a flucky" and walks out. All day he worries about what a flucky is and if it is fatal. Eventually she comes back and he asks for an explanation. She says " I told you, you got off lucky. There is nothing the matter with you."

 

There was a man and a duck walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells "DUCK!!!!" and the duck looks back at the man "Yes, can I help you?"

I know it sucks, certainly wont 'quack' you up..........

I give up.

Doc.

 

A young guy was on top of a 4 story building contemplating suicide.
Suddenly he sees an armless man skipping down the street jumping and twisting in the air.
The young guy climbs down the stairs as fast as he can the he stops the armless man and asks him:
"excusme sir,i couldn't help to notice how happy you seem even tho you are armless and here i am contemplating suicide and i am healthy and young,tell me,whats the secret to your happiness???
The armless guy replies:
Look buddy I wish I was dead right now,Im not happy at all.....My arsehole itches and I can't friggin scratch it!!!!

 

Nice catch. Duck...Duck...GOOSE! Go!

 

Who thinks this is going to make it to 20? That would be interesting...

 

Glad I was able to offer an out and provide the opportunity for so many of you to up your post count.

 

smoking is cool...

 

Tolo! You're back! What was your question?.........

 

I want to add something to this, it's about a pig. you can now add on to the story from here. I started reading the first post and have no idea what happened Sorry

 

It's been asked before, but I'll ask it again:

Why is it you drive on a parkway, and park in a driveway?

 

whoa, 20 pages. I'll throw one in.

Two bulls standing in a pasture. The young bull says "look at all those cows over there, lets run over and fuck one." The older bull replies "Why don't we just walk over and fuck them all!"

Patience young grasshoppa'

 

... that does it , Im kicking the dog.

 

Still???? ooooops! just bumped it again.