Last Christmas I picked up my oldest son from his company party at a local restaraunt. He's full of food and booze and feeling kinda sick.I'm driving his 70 Nova and I decide to light up the tires a bit .Well I'm going down the street a bit sideways,smoke belching out of the wheel wells,my son puking his guts out of the p***engers window,p***ing a cop who's giving someone a sobriety test.The look on the cops face was priceless.I was expecting to get stopped,but nothing happened.I probably should have looked around first.The guys at his work don't bug him about driving a 4dr anymore.
A couple of years ago I was driving my pickup home from work on a long stretch of 4-lane. As I was p***ing doing about 85, a Tarus pulled up on my *** and started tailing me, i pulled into the slow lane to let 'em by, but the ****er pulled in right behind me and got comfy sittin' right on my ***. As I came up on another car I pulled out to p*** the Tarus right behind, I pushed it up to 100, got around the car and pulled back in and slowed down as did the tailer, finally the car pulled up beside me. I looked over and the first person I saw was a lady probably in her 70's, then I looked over at the driver, who was a furious woman holding out a badge. I decided i better pull over. She came up to the truck just livid ready to go up one side down the other. Ended up I had to wait 'bout a half hour for an on duty cop to get there and give me a court apperance summons. Pretty bland story, but the hell was with the tailgatin'? Entrapment?
Two years ago, on one of the first real nice spring days, I took my '55 Buick (401, 4-speed, dual-carb) down to the Parkway to see what the latest tune-up did for performance. I was just coming out of third and letting off it when up ahead, coming towards me in the oncoming lane, a NYS Trooper's car lit up like a Christmas tree (Ooops! Make that a "Holiday" tree - I want to be PC). Across the median he came and pulled up behind me. Out came my license & registration and he walked up to the car, didn't say a word, just grabbed the do***ents, glanced over them and looked at me and said, "Aren't you a little old for this?" (WTF, I was ONLY 58 at that time !!). I appologized and explained I was just checking out my recent tune-up on a fairly secluded road, first nice day, etc., etc. He said that they don't bother stopping anyone under 70mph on the Parkway (posted is 55 mph), but he clocked me doing 86 !! Just as he was reaching for his ticket book and I was mentaly calculating how much my insurance would be going up and how pissed my wife would be, a little Ninja bike came roaring around the corner - s.o.b. must've been doing a hundred! The Trooper threw my paperwork back at me, told me it was my lucky day and ran for his car and took off, siren wailing, one hand on the wheel and the other on the two-way. Man, I LOVE them bikers !!!!
In 1974 I got 25 speeding tickets in around 18 different states....none went on my license 'cuz they did not have reciprocity agreements with my home state... I guess I was in a hurry...
Anyone else never gotten a ticket? Been drivin' 36 years and never gotten one...deserved many, but still waitin' to get my first
About 6 years ago i was test driving a 91 vette to buy (on dealer plates)..well trade actually. i had a malibu i was gonna trade for it, then sell the vette etc.. Anyway, i took it home on my lunch and on the way back i had to stop at a light about a 10th mile from the shop. I'm first in line so i figured i'd run through the gears alittle (6 speed).. Well the light changes and i snap the clutch at about 3 grand.. I slide sideways in first and grab a handfull of second as the mill was tickling the red line... As i pull my first to second shift, i p*** 2 city police car's sitting in a parking lot just across the intersection with the cops talking to each other.. Mind you, this was a board shift at close to 6 grand! Long story short. I pull into the shop i work at, get out of the car and just wait 'cause i know i'll have visitors soon.. Sure enough, one pull's in front and one in back blocking me in...with light's on and everything. Two female officer's greet me... I'm thinking i'm done! One ask's me what the hell i was doing. I respond with i was test driving the car because i was thinking of buying it.. One officer say's " i don't think thats a good idea".......LOL After explaining what an *** i am, they actually let me go! Funniest traffic stop for me yet! We laughed about it, but i was damn lucky.. Like i said this thing was on a dealer plate still! Tony
I have too many ticket stories to list including going to jail for doing a small burnout and not letting the cop bully me.I like the ones where we get away.going home one night from hanging out with my friends.it's 3 a.m. leaving town and hitting the back roads I'm driving my rag that I've had for 15 years. cam'd to death, headers with header bombs and a 456 rearend.driving 40 in a 45.I p*** 2 cops sitting at a closed bar talking to each other.few miles down the road a cop car with the bubbles on comes flying.its still about 1/4 mile or so back so I keep putting at 40 til it get closer.I pull over to the right and I be damn if it didn't pull in behind me.so finding a gravel road I pulled over.it seamed like a long long time before the cop got out.it was a lady cop.she came to the window and asked how i was doing?I said I was doing find til I got pulled over.she replied by telling me she needed my reg/insurance.she went back to her car for what seamed like a long time again.she came back and ask why I was going so slow?SLOW?you pulled me over for NOT speeding I asked?she said well,when you p***ed us you was creeping trying to stay off the pipes!I said no I was creeping because I have a gear in my car!she says whats a gear?I told her if I had to explain it to you , you wouldn't understand.has her face starts to get red she raised her tone and ask?DO YOU EVEN HAVE A MUFFLER ON THIS~THIS ~THIS THING?!I looked at her and smiled and said yes I have two of them you can climb under and look if you want.it was funny to me but not to her.she did let me go.wouldn't have matter much to me either way I had been in front of the judge's so many time they knew me by name.that's been about 10 years ago and I can still see her walking away and me starting my car with a sudden load roar and from both sides of my car , blowing gravel dust all over her and the black and white.. AHH THE GOOD OL' DAYS..
We rained out on a road construction project in 78. it was 80 miles home and i was planning on getting there in less than an hour. The median had about 2 foot of water in it. The patrolman hit it at about 50 mph. His car stopped in about 5 feet and blew water from the ditch clear to the fence. I figured he was probably injured so I backed down the interstate for a 1/4 mi, climbed out ,waded out to his car to check on him. That was one pissed cop.I got a tow rope out of the pickup, reached under the car in the ditchwater, hooked on and pulled him out. At this point he hadn't gotten out of the car. He then wanted my license and registration and insurance. He wrote me up for 92 in a 55. stopping on the interstate, backing on the interstate, Illegal parking on the interstate, two for broken taillights and I thought he was going to get me for being ugly in public. Fined 500plus costs. I was setting in a cafe years later when this guy sets down and says "you remember me? I wrote you a bunch of tickets years ago and I just wanted to apologise. I shouldn't have but I was just so mad, Mostly at myself and took it out on you" I says yeah, I remember, are you going to give back my 580 dollars. He says no, just apologise. Don't push your luck. Wonder why I don't much like police.
got a no ticket story and a ticket story. Ive been pulled over in my 34 pickup 3 times (registerd as a 31 but they dont know that!) i got a 75 in a 55 ticket, was coming under a bridge underp*** around a corner and the cop was point at me! out of like 10 others, said he never pulled anything over this old and that it must be older than his pops! still got a ticket. then on the way back from my buddys house i take a back senic kinda way, turn the corner and put her to the boards up two second and then get back to normal driving, oh by the way open headers! so i keep heading down the road about 1 mile later some headlights get closer and closer then the cherries come on. he pulls me over and says "kinda load" i say ya i guess, i say i usally take try and take it easly so it not so load, he says "you better put your header caps back on!" so i say no problem, and says have a nice day and take it easy! i dont think he knew i had her to the boards, just thought it was load! Then the last time i got pulled over was on the way to the Hunnert Car Pileup, we were crusing with bleed, MaxWedge and johnycola, i was last in line and we went through this small IL. town, wwe stopped in town waiting for a train to go through, the cops had someone else pulled over on mainstreet and Bob ended up right next to him and Aarons A sedan was in front of him, both with load *** pipes, me my headers plugged off, doing nothing wrong, the train get throu so we start to get rolling again, Aaron goes, Bob goes, i go and the cop whips in behind me, he follows us (ME) out of town about a mile and the cherries flip on, dammnit im thing what the hell did i do? so he pulls me over and asks if this is my car? i say yeah for like 3 years now! he says well it didnt come up on the computer, i say you better check again cause its mine. says hell be right back, comes back and says it came up that time, and says well the reason i pulled you over is because you dont have a side mirror. i say fine, it meats Mn laws and thats where i live, so if you want to right me a ticket go ahead, i have a long ride ahead of me and i like to get cruising! he says well i let you of with a warning, i say thanks and we part! So Bob and the boys are waiting ahead for us and i Jennie call them and tell them that they are impounding my truck for equipment violation and that someone needs to come get us, they are like "**** no way" and shes like "im not kidding" and just then we coming pulling up to them where they are waiting, they say you ***holes, then i told them what happened, they all laughed,and the i said "its best i got pulled over, i have the "most" legal car in the group!" thats my stories and im sticken to em! JEFF
My high school ride was a 74 Laguna Chevelle. My dad and I rebuilt the motor, 350 with a 268 duration comp cam, 2.02 and 1.60 valves in ported and polished heads, 4 barrel, headers, etc.... On my way to my girlfriends place, she lived 30 miles away, I was late and running 70ish on a 55 mph highway. Since there was a long stretch up ahead I sped up. I p***ed one car then got into a hilly area. The speedometer had been buried for about 3 miles. The needle had been past the 120 mark for a least two of those miles. I saw headlights in my rear view mirror, and they were catching up to me. The only thing in NW Iowa at that time that was that fast were state trooper cars. The local police cars were box stock fords and maxed out at 90mph or so. (I had a buddy in the service department at the local for dealer. He took the out for "test drives") I slowed down to the speed limit and was pulled over by, you guessed it, a state trooper. I made the mistake of leaving the car running. As I sat in the trooper car, watching my car lope and shade at idle, I thought I was screwed. After a pretty good *** chewing and and a few horror stories. I was set loose with a verbal warning. He told me he couldn't clock me because I went by so fast. The car I p***ed was doing 65mph when I blasted by. He said he recognised my car from seeing it every friday and saturday for the past year or so, and he'd be watching for me. So, in a nutshell, I got a verbal warning for well over 120 mph in a 55 mph zone.
Back in '83 (the summer I graduated) a friend and I took my deuce and made a trip around the outer edge of Wisconsin. We went North from Fond du Lac, up along the Michigan border, through the big woods, South along the Mississippi, through Wisconsin Dells and Mad Town, and back to Fondy. I beat the **** out of that car (still do) and the clutch began slipping as we made our way South. I stopped in a church parking lot and made the adjustment, and was feathering it out, forward and reverse, to see how it felt. Wouldn't you know it... in pulls Deputy ****head and his backwoods lawbook... He wrote me something like 19 warnings for equipment violations. I explained to him, that, my car was exempt from such trivialities, but he kept on writing. If memory serves...... I had a sack of some primo **** between the seats, so I didn't argue. However, once I got back in the car and hid the lid, I pulled out of the lot with the good officer right behind... I asked my buddy to hand me the tickets, one at a time... and before I got to the city limits, every crumpled-up one had gone right under the cop's cruiser. I never did a ****ing thing about those "violations" and I never heard a word. I've, always, wondered why he didn't pull me over and **** me in the *** for littering, or something... How can you miss all those wads of pink paper...? I have alot more... 'cuz I'm disorderly. JOE
things were good in the early 80's i remember going to the court house one morn to visit the Judge & make my donation to the state & parking my SS454 70 chevelle next to a super bee with 2x4s poking out the hood, another chevelle with a big donkey dink hood scoop, oh i spotted my brothers 427 vette parked in the street, he was in there too. a nasty looking 55 chev (he must of been from out of town i never saw it before) a firebird & he left his slicks on & had it parked in the lot. it was like a car show. we were all sitting in the court room looking at each other trying to be on our best behavier. the judge was in a good mood. all he could see were harmless gearheads & dollar signs. one at a time we went up & after one was dismissed the court house windows would rattle from some ground pounding real horse power! i know i made sure those court house windows were rattling when i left! i laid 2 BiG ones across the parking lot on my way out & i know everyone left sitting, waiting in the courthouse were smilling ear to ear. the super bee driver was in for standing his big mopar up on the rear tires in front of the liquor store ina small town close to here. the judge called him wheelie. my fine was $270.00 but the judge cut it IN HALF! i was so happy i paved the lot for em on my way out!
No... Luckily, I was wearing my leash. I do have a correction, too... I have, since, taken care of one of those violations (sorta). I added a seatbelt for the HAMB drags, two years ago. JOE
This is a no ticket story I've told before. I was cruising up Hwy 400 in Kansas heading home from the 2004 HAMB drags and minding my own business when I went past an officer at an intersection. He takes off after me and gets on my tail to call in my tag. I'm wondering just what I did now. I wasn't even speeding. After a while he pulls up like he's going to p*** but brakes and immediately throws on his lights. What the ???!!!! I pull over and when he walks up his first question is " What year of Ford is that" Here we go again. I tell him it's not a ford, It's a 31 Pontiac and then start rambling about what I changed and all of the other odd parts I chose to prove the car's lineage. He asked a few more questions and then tells me the reason he had pulled me over was that the tag # came back for a Pontiac but he knew it was a Ford and that I had the falsified info, had the wrong tag or something like that. Oh brother... Then he starts asking about where I was going so I put a plug in for the HAMB drags and we talked hot rods for a bit. To be honest I wonder if he just wanted to see the car up close. Freaked me out a bit though. Never had to defend the old gal's lineage before. My wife and kids were in the Blazer and pulled over about half a mile up the road. Cheryl seemed surprised that I hadn't gotten a speeding ticket, or a ticket for something else for that matter. I thought she knew I was reformed.
I was getting on the highway one morning in my Capri. My speedo was broke, but in 4th gear, my speedo and tach needles were always even so I didn't really care when it broke. I knew how fast I was going. I was actually driving to my parents house for church on a Sunday morning. I had just got on the highway. I came up on a Texas State Trooper before I realized it and knew I was in trouble. I saw his reverse light flicker when he pulled it out of park getting ready to take off when I p*** him. I calmly just pulled over as soon as I p***ed him. He didn't even have to pull off the sholder. He was the typical "good ole boy" older cop you would expect to see in a movie. He came up and asked me what my hurry was. "Sorry sir, I'm late for church. I apologize. My speedo is broke so I use the tach. I don't know how fast I'm going until I hit 4th gear..." "GOOD LORD son!, I clocked you at 70 and you ain't hit 4th gear yet?" He just kinda chuckled. Looked at my stickers (somehow overlooking my expred inspection) then proceeded to walk to the front to check for a plate. (which had been on my dash but at some point fell on the floor.) I quickly reached down and grabbed it from the floor and stuck it on the dash. He glanced up and grinned when he saw me do it. Then he wanted to check my tint. I eased it up a little. "No son, roll it up!" He let me know it was too dark and that I could get a ticket. Surprisingly through all of this, he still let me go.
In 1968 my drag racer friend Ron had just returned from his two weeks active in the So. Dak. National Guard. His unit was based in Salem which was about 30 miles from home. I picked up his girlfriend and we went to pick him up. On the way back I was showing off and had just hit 150 in my Z-28 when we p***ed a cop hiding on a side road. Back then they had the detector set on a tripod outside the car and a readout inside with a wire between that they could disconnect. I never saw him pull out because we were gone so fast. Later, at the truck stop, another friend came in and told me I owed him big time because he'd been pulled over by that cop. The cop told him he'd let my friend go if he'd tell him either who was driving the yellow car that went by like a bat out of hell or the person who stole his detector while he was trying to catch me.
The Jalopy Journal
