25 SIGNS THAT YOU'VE GROWN UP: 1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel or CHR to find out when Chevy37 goes out for a cruise and it will RAIN... 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." 10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the 177.5 Decibel stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach. 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to_drink that much again." 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. 25. You read this entire list looking desperately for just one sign that_doesn't apply to you..........and can't find a single one to save your_sorry, old "Geezer" BUTT.
6. You watch the Weather Channel or CHR to find out when Chevy37 goes out for a cruise and it will RAIN...
[ QUOTE ] 6. You watch the Weather Channel or CHR to find out when Chevy37 goes out for a cruise and it will RAIN... [/ QUOTE ] mmmmmmmm, me thinks this must be "streets" or someone he knows, cause for some odd reason i read this on another board earlier today.....joe and i may be getting older BUT i will never grow up............
Well, I don't hate my parents I don't get drunk just to spite them I've got my own reasons to drink now Think I'll call my dad up and invite him I can sleep in till noon anytime I want Though there's not many days that I do Gotta get up and take on that world When your an adult it's no cliche it's the truth 'Cause I'm an adult now I'm an adult now I've got the problems of an adult On my head and on my shoulders I'm an adult now I can't even look at young girls anymore People will think I'm some kind of pervert Adult sex is either boring or dirty Young people they can get away with murder I don't write songs about girls anymore I have to write songs about women No more boy meets girl boy loses girl More like, man tries to figure out what the hell went wrong I can't take any more illicit drugs I can't afford any artificial joy I'd sure look like a fool dead in a ditch somewhere With a mind full of chemicals Like some cheese-eating high school boy Sometimes my head hurts and sometimes my stomach hurts And I guess it won't be long Till I'm sitting in a room with a bunch of people whose necks and backs are aching Whose sight and hearing's failing Who just can't seem to get it up! Speaking of hearing, I can't take too much loud music I mean I like to play it, but I sure don't like the racket Noise, but I can't hear anything Just guitars screaming, screaming, screaming Some guy screaming in a leather jacket 'Cause I'm an adult now I'm an adult now I've got the problems of an adult On my head and on my shoulders I'm an adult now I'm An Adult Now The Pursuit of Happiness
99. You're forking over the kid's college fund and the next two mortgage payments to some stranger at a fleamarket for deuce fenders, and for just a moment you feel a twinge of guilt...
The Jalopy Journal
