A guy walks into a bar and says "bartender, gimme twelve martinis" The bartender asks " Whats the deal, are you celebrating something?" The guy responds "Yup, my first blowjob" The bartender says "If that is the case, I will throw in one more, on the house" The guy says "No thanks, if 12 don't take the taste out of my mouth, I don't think a 13th will help." Sorry, I had to add my gay joke to the mix. -Joe
Ok as everyone else is doing it I'll jump in: (overheard at my old job) Hear about the lesbian carpenters who built a house? It was all tongue and groove.... Whats the longest bridge in the world? The SF bay bridge..It goes from africa to fairyland Why does the bride wear white? So the dishwasher matches the fridge... A gay couple and a lesbian couple are both leaving LA for a trip to SF, they both plan to leave at the same time, who will get there first? The lesbians as they will be doing 69 the whole way while the guys will still be at home packing each others shit.... ryan, sorry for the VERY poor taste of these jokes....
Ok, I couldn't resist............. This girl wants to barrow her Dads car for the night. She ask's him and he says "Ok, but you gotta give me a blow job first".......she thinks about it and finally say's "Ok, I really need the car tonight. So she's down there going to town on him when she looks up and says "Dad, this thing taste's like shit!"...... He says "Yea, your brother just got back with the car"...........
what do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff What do you call a man with a 2 inch dick? Justin What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack
One busy night in a bar in Little Rock Arkansas.......As the bartender is serving beers to a table in the corner of the room, one of the men says to the bartender "I've got $500 says that if you place a shot glass at one end of the bar and you spin me around till i'm dizzy at the other end of the bar, I can stand on the bar and piss into the shot glass and not spill one drop onto the bar." To this the bartender says "I would bet $1000 you can't do that". The man thinks a minute and says ok you've got yourself a bet. The bartender places the shot glass on the bar and spins the man around and round and round then stop, the man jumps up onto the bar, unzips and lets it rip...........pisses all over the bar all over the bartender, on the floor on two women sitting at the bar. The bartender begins to yell loudly and pump his arms in the air in victory "Drinks on the house" the bartender says and begins to laugh. The bartender says "Pay up dude" the man says one minute, goes over to the table says something to the guys he is with and comes back "Here you go $1000" says the man. "Hey wait a minute you don't look to upset about losing this much money whats the deal" asks the bartender. "You see those guys over there crying....well I had bet them $1000 each I could piss all over you and your bar and not only would you let me do it ,you would enjoy it."
Two gay men,walking down the street. One of them spots a dog on the other side of the street,that is licking his balls. One Gay says to the other, "Man,I sure wish I could do that!" Other one says "Go ahead,he won't bite!"
The Jalopy Journal
