AMEN BROTHER!!! Been in the car business over 30 years and had the same "Switcheroos" pulled on me. You tend to learn from your mistakes, or should I say customer's ruthlessness, but the bad ones allways find a way to stick it to Mr. Car Dealer. About 15 years ago we were running a pretty good rental car business from our Ford dealership. One of our cars, a Taurus, was in the shop for it's first oil change at 3,000 miles. The tech who was working on it came into my office and said "you have to come out in the shop and see something." So, I follow him out to the Taurus that is up on the rack, and he points out to me that this car with 3,000 miles on it has 4 tires on it that are wore beyond the wear bars! He proceeded to pull the wheels on the car and you could see Brake dust accumulation on the inside of the rims that was not from a car with only 3,000 miles on it. Somone rented the car and swapped out the wheels and tires to thier car!
We kept a deployed air bag out of wrecked Mustang to show customers what a deployed air bag looked like. Anyway, I was working as a tech at the time in our Family's Ford dealership. None of the other techs liked installing airconditioning in the base model Rangers, so I would stay after closing time and knock them out in a couple of hours. One night I was working on an A/C install in a 95 Ranger. I was installing the Condensor in front of the Radiator, and stopped for a restroom break. When I came out, my Father, the owner of the dealership, caught me coming out of the restroom and said "what did you do to that Ranger your working on? The air bag deployed while you were in the bathroom!" I run out to the shop and see a deployed driver's side air bag as I approach the vehicle...I stopped dead in my tracks...and so did my heart! But, as I got closer I see that it is the deployed air bag from the Mustang layed on top of the center of the steering wheel of the Ranger. My Dad the Joker!
What constantly amazes me about modern, new car dealers is how none of them know their own product. 99% of those guys don't even know if the car they are selling has a solid or independent rear axle, an aluminum or iron block, a cable or hydraulic clutch... etc. I know most customers don't know those things either but come on, shouldn't these guys know a little about what they are selling. My wife and I were looking for a newer car and we went and looked at a 350z. The clutch felt really soft to me and I told the salesman that it might need a new master cylinder. He looked at me like I just grew a third arm. Then the one of the mechanics comes over and starts trying to convince me that it has a cable operated clutch that just needs adjustment. LOL I popped open the plastic cover for the HYDRAULIC clutch cylinder and then my wife and I left the lot never to return. Idiots.
Two techs at our shop were working together to repair a door hinge on something like a mid 70s Gran Prix or Monte Carlo. These cars had long, heavy doors, which is why they were hard on the hinges. One guy's crouched on the floor with his hands stuffed into the hinge pillar area reassembling the hinge while the other is standing at the far end of the door, holding it up and trying to help align things. He's got his hands full with this big, heavy door. One of the part-owners of the shop at that time is walking thru rhe shop and sees this scenario. He walks up behind the tech that's holding up the door, who's a pretty skinny guy, reaches around him and unhooks his belt buckle. A couple of quick tugs and he's dropped the poor guy's pants around his ankles and walks away. The tech had to just stand there in his BVDs for a few minutes till the door was bolted up before he could let go of the door and pull his pants back up.
well being in the used car buisness for 20 yrs gives me some ammo for this thread..... we also rented cars and this little escort came back in june, we cleaned it up, re-rented it for about 2 more months, one day in a way fuggin hot august, this car started to smell ! i mean a dead body smell we could'nt get out ! we shampooed & shampooed & shampooed this friggin car ! we hung the little green trees all over the place, dryer sheets, new car smell, the friggin works! nuttin helped this cars odor, well we decided to rip out the seats & carpet and power wash the whole thing to rid it of odor. one of the cleanup guys noticed something dark running out from under the back of the rear seat, we opened the trunk & tore it apart, and guess what? some asshole had hunted deer & put a deer in the trunk, it bled out into the spare tire well ! he had cleaned the trunk mat but forgot the rest of the blood and oh my fuckin god did that shit smell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sweet young thing walked on to the dealers lot I worked for the the early 90s. She hooked right up with the youngest sales guy who was kind a womanizer. She played him like a fiddle and he let her take a brand new Grand prix off of the lot with D plates on it. They started to worry after about 2 hours, salesmen was too busy thinking about poking her to bother getting any I.D. or info from her. She was picked up in a traffic check a couple hundred of miles away 4 months later and the car had 14,000 miles on it. I dont think anything happened to her because they let her take it willingly.
I went to a Dealer to test drive a new truck a couple of years ago with my wife. I got it out on the road, drove less than 1/10th of a mile and an alarm sounded and smoke started rolling out from under the hood. I made a quick U-turn and drove it back to where I had started from and shut it down. The sales guy (young kid) was still standing there, only now he stood there with his jaw on the ground. His manager came running out, swearing at the kid. Apparently the truck had never been prepped to drive. In any event, I politely told the kid I didn't think I wanted that truck and walked away.
My wife worked with a mousey middle aged school teacher lady named Elaine. You would never know it but Elaine had/has a penchant for autocross and can really drive. There are more than one salesmen in this town that had to clean their shorts after she test drove something. She has raced Mustangs and Toyotas. She gets a new one every couple years so the experienced sales guys always line her up with some newbie for a "test drive"
And believe me it's not going to get any better! With more and more dealers 'merging' and adding brands due to the economy, it's practically impossible for the salesmen to know what they need to know about everything they sell. I was an assistant new car sales manager at a Buick Pontiac GMC store from 99-03 and part of my job was on going training. With the constant turnover, new model introductions, etc.; it was hard enough just to keep the sales force up to date on 3 model lines. Think about the 'Mega' stores now that have 5 or more model lines under one roof!
My first appraisal: Usually only the used car manager, GM, or very seldom the new car manager would do an appraisal of a used car trade. Well one Friday morning all three were in a very important meeting and couldn't be interrupted. This elderly man and wife come in wanting to trade this mid 98 S-10 Chevy for a new 00 Buick Century. Well, this S-10 has super low mileage and is very clean. I'm the assistant new car manager (working the new car end of the deal), and the assistant used car manager (he's been in the business for 40+ years) are appraising the truck. We take it for a short drive, and it drives out super. He asked me what I think. I tell him I don't think we would go wrong at average book. He tells me if we can get the deal for average book to go for it, and even go up to clean book if we need to. Oh, did I mention the truck is white and it is a very sunny day? Well the buyer jumps at the deal when we offer him average book for trade. This should have thrown up a red flag, but at that point I was so proud that we put together a deal without the upper management help. We get everything done, the new car delivered and the customers on their way. I have the salesman pull the trade in over to our wash bay, because it is so clean that it doesn't even need to go out to be detailed. After lunch the managers and GM get out of the meeting and we're asked what we've done. Among a couple other deals, we're proud to mention the trade we've taken in. In about 15 minutes we're both paged to the GM's office. First thing he said was 'Who in the hell appraised that S-10' Well the assistant used car manager's signature was on the appraisal slip so his azz was on the line, but I quipped up-- "We both agreed on what to put on it", thinking he was going to congratulate us. "Well you are both f--king blind," he said; not in his happy voice. That truck has hail damage all over it!! Being white and out in the sun, we just flat out missed it!
I've made my best MISTAKES on white cars. I'm with you on that one. Also I wont buy cars at the auction on rainy days unless I've thoroughly previewed them on a prior day when the SUN IS OUT. Rainy days are when all the collision repaint cars are dragged out and all the scratched cars can be snuck through. I've been burned on many rainy night trade-in appraisals.
No like I wimp I let this one one go too. I was earning very little dough and even though gas was hovering close to 50 cents/gallon I could not do a 50 mile highway commute each day in that car. The R/T was fun but not very practical. I traded towards a 283/Powerglide Corvette then swapped that in towards a '65 Impala SS. I despised that Impala although it got me a good 40,000 miles of service for the one year that I owned it. Next I moved into some good stuff, a new GTO, some more Corvettes, cool Caddy's, Camaro's, my 454 Chevelle that I still own to this day and a bunch of roadsters and coupes. Life did get better. I still really miss that R/T though. I keep my eyes and ears open for another chance at one before I die.
Been reading and thinking of some of the stuff I've seen. While there are a lot of funny stuff there is a few scarry moments too. Just a few.... We've had guns pulled on salesmen while on test drives (before we started taking drivers license) customers threatning to kill someone if we don't give back their repoed car, repo men getting the shit beat out of them, and or getting killed, things like that. We once had a salesmen who was washing a car at a quarter wash have a a couple of guys come up to him w/a gun and told him they were taking the car and if he wanted to live he better run. He got several feet away then they shot him. Hit him in the back of the neck and almost killed him. Found out they just robbed a jewelry store. After a police chase we got the car back. Knew a dealer that was killed when the guy whose car they repoed the night before came back on the lot the next morning pissed off. Just shot him. In the early 70's, my dad had a guy call up from a hotel said he wanted to buy a Caddy they had advertized, and had cash but wanted my dad to bring it to him, he couldn't cause he was alone at the time. Later the next day he heard on the news that an elderly couple was killed at that hotel and the guy stole a Caddy they were driving. That couple was a man and wife who were wholesalers that my dad knew very well. They never did find the guy who did it.
Saw some unusual C.O.P.O. cars come thru the Chevy dealership I worked in during the spring of 1969. We had a bunch of (over 20 of them) '69 Biscayne 2 door post cars come in on a special fleet order. They were for the Environmental Police in Massachusetts where we were located. These coupes were all painted a dark metallic green with light green left and right front doors. Power-trains were very odd. 396 cu.in. with 2 bbl carburetor engines, 3 speed manual transmissions with column shifts and posi rear ends. Weird coupes if I say so. Into the early summer we did a dealer swap, a Chevelle for a Chevelle with the Chevy dealer in neighboring Newton, Ma. The lot man that worked with me in the used car department snapped up the swap car. My eyes bugged out of my forehead when he lit it up and popped the hood to show me the deal. It was a new '69 Burnished Brown Malibu 2 door h.t., C.O.P.O. 427, 425 horse monster. No "give the clue away" emblems, plain white bench seat interior, flat handle Muncie stick poking up thru the floor. Odd thing about it was I could see tons of over spray on the rocker panel area and under the deck lid where the factory(?) or converter(?) had dechromed the lower moulding group, then after shaving the lower body they colored those areas in matching brown paint. I could still see traces of old silver over-spray inside the wheel openings that someone in their rush didn't cover completely. Totally did away with the customary silver waterline that Malibu's had. Car had no SS emblems, no 427 emblems. The only other options it had was Corvette style 15" rally wheels and tinted glass. Car was all about the engine! We got a Dusk Blue one in later from the same dealer source over in Newton about 1 or 2 months later. It too had a white bench interior and tinted glass. None of these cars had power steering or radios or any creature comfort options. You could order cars any way you liked in those times.
that is awsome! not getting the demo hit, but the common sense that some people have. i would have hit them too. i think that is why they don't want me to drive, that and i can't really see.
it's instinct. it sounds like something that i would do. i have never done it, but still. oh, and nice signature!
Back in the late sixtes we had a used Olds. on the lot with a set of those nice fiesta wheel covers which where stolen one nite. Two days later this guy comes in with a Chevy for a oil change with our stolen wheel covers. I called the cops and he admitted he stole them, What an idiot.
Had a guy bring his pinto into the ford shop where I worked he said it wouldn't shift right.I took it out and banged second gaer so hard the lever pulled out of the nylon nut that srewed into the trans.When I pulled into the shop he was standing there,as I held the shifter up I said found your problem.Car was fixed under warrenty,and he never knew.
While working in a small shop a guy brought in a 70s chevy pick up with a 305 v8.It had a bad skip,and hetold us he had taken the truck to an expert who told him the cam had a flat lobe,So he wants us to pull the motor out of a good running car and put in the truck.So thats what I do.Now he also told us that the expert had put new wires,cap,and plugs on the old engine before he found the bad cam.So i put the stuff on the new motor.When I started it up it had the same bad skip.End of story expert had missed a cracked cap.Customer had to buy a car and have the motors swapped. Because the guy missed the crack and the customer didn't want us to do anything but chang motors.
My father totaled a 1 of 1 test car for volvo a few years back... he now has a corner named after him at the test track
While working at a Ford shop the guy working the bay next to me had a 1964 Ford withe a 390 4bl and 4 speed. that he claimed was the fasted car around.One day hes done work and he brings in his car to rebuild the carb,Now instead of taking it off the motor he pulls it apart on the car.I said something about that not being a good ideal,but he knows all.Well he drops a ball bearing down the throat.So he goes and gets another one from parts and finishes his rebuild,He then starts the car thinking the ball will go out the tail pipe without hertting anything.Wrong!Head was toast so was the piston,and when the piston broke,there went the block.I love guys that know itall.
Product knowledge is arguably less important than teaching your salesmen the proper techniques of greeting, qualifying, demonstrating, turning, closing, and most importantly, the ART OF LISTENING, but it is still important. The best salesmen listen to a customer talk and hear what is REALLY being said. They learn what it is going to take to sell that customer that day. If that requires the sharing of product knowledge, the those same salesmen will have learned it and know when to provide it. Not learning the product isn't a new phenomenon. Because they don't realize having intimate knowledge of the product is an integral part of "qualifying" the "up" (customer), car salesmen have always been lazy about learning product knowledge beyond what is printed in the brochures. Indeed, some won't bother to learn that much. As much as providing the customer the answers about the product he seeks, a salesman having good product knowledge has a tool that can assure the customer he is not wasting his time, and help to gain his confidence. Those who do take the time to have proficient product knowledge often have a difficult time using that proficiency, spewing far too much information when they should be listening to the customer. Running your mouth, about any subject, when you should be listening makes it difficult, if not impossible, for you to hear what your "up" needs to make that buy decision. The experienced salesman knows he does it at his peril.
Probably around the mid 80s we had a new Chevy van, 350 4bbl., in our dealership with a dead miss. Cold, warm, hot, idle, cruising, load, no load, it didn't matter. This one cylinder flat refused to fire. Gave every indication of an ignition problem. Tuneup guy spent a couple days off and on fooling with it. New plugs, swapped and replaced wires, changed cap and rotor and who knows what else to no avail. Knew which cylinder it was but couldn't get it to fire. Went down a couple stalls to the light/heavy engine guy for a spell. He poked and prodded around for a while and even though it never made any noises he pulled the valve covers to see if something was out of whack. Cam, lifters, pushrods, rockers, springs and valves were all in order. Finally ended up in the tranny and driveline guy's stall. This guy was the best true technician and diagnostics guy we've probably ever had. It stumped him for a while but he finally pulled off the carburetor. Couldn't see very far down into the ports so he took an old piece of speedo cable core and fed it into each runner and watched how far the cable would go in. When he got to the dead cylinder the cable stopped short of where it should have. He pulled off the intake and due to a slight core shift the passage to that one cylinder was cast closed, probably not even 1/16" thick. He broke most of it out with a hammer and punch but GM put a new intake on it anyway.
In 75 I was working at a Chevy dealership in Olean New York.A Car transport just delivered 5 NEW Monte carlos.The driver just parked them in a row and our lot boy was driving a old trade in junker Olds 88.He decided to powerbrake it and the motor mount broke causing the throttle to stick wide open.He smoked the tire out of controll , side swiped every new car just unloaded and broadsided the one parked sideways at the end of the lot. HOLY SHIT he took them all out.The truck driver was running around screaming this isn't my fault.The owner of the dealership was screaming at the kid and the kid (studdered when nervous) Hollered back at him FFFFFFUC You.Man all the mechanics were laughing ,it was helarous.
Worked at a chrysler dealer from 87 to 07,Pretty much was the go to guy or drivability guy.One morn the sevice manager grabs me and asks if i could look at a new 06 jeep wrangler that was delivered over the weekend. So i grab a scanner and my buddy as well as a testlite and my cellphone.Only problem was it was real close to morning break and i really need a cup of coffee in the morning.The normal road test was a 5 mile loop ending back at the dealer.On the first 2 mile leg of the roadtest no codes no problems,good to go so i go to the next exit which doubles the road test. You guessed it it starts to croak,SHIT,ITS THE FUEL PUMP!!!I pull into a gas station my friend rudy owns."Hey rudy can i steel a can of carb clean ill bring you one back later".Take whatever you need gary ,He said knowing i had 15 minuits to catch the coffee truck. Flipped the hood up and i sat in the engine compartment and sprayed bursts into the throttlebody to keep it running.FOR SEVEN MILES on a mojor highway service road.Got it up to 40 mph with my buddy chris looking out the side window tring to avoid any collisions.All went fine untill we came up to a dunkin donuts where a cop was sitting and saw the whole escapade. Well we were in walking distance when he pulled us over and i jumped out of the engine compartment and just said what? When we told the offices where we were going they jumped back into ther car and approached the service manager with "You have two assholes driving a jeep".Not to disrespect his men the manager stops them and tells them there his guys and no one but himself will call them assholes. Furriously the get back into there car and leave,just as chris and myself walk in just in time for the coffee truck. the sevice manager walks up to us and asks what were we doing,so we told him what happened. You guys really are assholes was his reply and just laughed.
The Jalopy Journal
