Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish, he will eat every day. In other words, point him in the right direction, and push.
I like that one but some guys are helpless with a wrench. I have tried having a "bud" do thw work while I was just hanging out and it didn't work so well. I made twice as much work for myself when I had to fix it right.
This is good ^^^^^^^^ Wisdom is the key to Life! As we mature we wisely hen peck this type of "Asshole" out of our life!!!
Supervise your "friend" as HE works on HIS car. Then he can truthfully say that he did the work. If that's not agreeable, get a new friend. Users are a dime a dozen.
When your friend bought his car he knew he had a resource next door to bail him out. Maybe he just wanted to have a shared interest with you, maybe he learned from you what some of these cars can be worth. In any case you are his resource in the car hobby/ business and maybe his friend and maybe not. There is only one way to find out. Stop working for him for free.
Next thing you`ll be telling everyone how you found him in bed with your old lady...Grow a set ,your in control of your life. If you don`t want to be taken advantage of,STOP!
As a General Contractor I got calls from "friends" all of the time. Some called with true needs, most called with wants. Those with needs more often than not offered something in return, even if it was just a heartfelt Thank you. To those that just wanted something I learned to ask what they had in mind. This gave them a chance to spell out the whole picture. My answer as to wether I'd help was based on what they said. No is a really good answer.
I don't recall ever having that problem with my friends, but I've certainly experienced it with my inlaws. I've always been the one in the family who could fix or build things so as you cam imagine I get roped into a lot. For my inlaws I've fixed cars, wired houses, built decks, painted , done roof work, and on and on. About about 12 years ago I took a two week vacation during which I planned to paint the back of my house. The first day of that vacation I went hiking with my sons and badly twisted my knee. I ended up in the e-room and was on crutches with a knee brace. I really wanted to get the painting done so I ended up on staging on crutches . I got it done , but not one of my inlaws called to ask if they cold help. I haven't done any of those kinds of projects since. They never ask me directly but ask my wife if I can do things . My wife knows how I feel and just tells them I'm too busy.
I have a good friend that asked me to help him with his Harley. I told him sure come on over. We both worked on it and I had to show him what to do. It got to a point though that he asked if I could just show him and he would do the actual work. I was glad to help him with anything after that. He has learned a lot since and only asks me to help him if he gets stuck. This is how it is supposed to work. Live and learn!
Yea this is something that I'm currently having to deal with. Friend of mine is moving to arizona for a year cuz of his wifes schooling. So for the past 2 weeks he's been texting and callin me almost everyday about car stuff. I did a whole lot of work on his car on Monday and I have to work on his wifes car tomorrow. It wouldn't bug me but something tells me he has no plans on throwin me a bone for all the work I did for him, and he still complains about all the money he's spent on parts. I had a conflict with him in the past about car work and him givin me a little something, I did struts on his wifes car a while back and he gave me money for the parts I had bought and then like $60 extra. I figured it was payment so I was happy. Turns out a few months later her car needed more work and he said I could use that $60 he gave me to buy the parts. That turned into a whole ordeal and I was so upeset with them....bad memories. so I just have to give up on having expectations for people.
When I get questions like that, I don't offer to do it, but i offer to make the person able to do it himself. I don't keep any secrets about how I made the wind screen, steering wheel, gearstick, pedal assy, fan schroud, dash board, hood sides, mirror stems, hood locks, grille insert or other stuff. Quite a few have asked me: Can you make one for me, too?. Then I answer: No, but I can help you make your own with simple tools, like I did. For me, part of the fun about this is to know I have managed to make the stuff myself. I want other to get that good feeling too, but sadly, most people don't allow themself to have it.
I have a co-worker that is in our body shop that it also into building cars and I caught myself starting to do that when I first bought my truck. Although I offered to give him my 49 pickup that was in decent shape in trade for him helping me with my 50 as I had a little trouble selling it. He declined and I assume it was because he knew he wouldnt have the time to help me and I am really glad he was honest with me and didnt take my truck and then blow me off, and I didnt hold it against him. It wasnt that I was trying to take advantage of the guy but I knew I was in over my head and just needed some direction. He came a looked at it once and after asking him a couple of times about it I realized he wasnt very helpful anymore and I got the picture. I am really glad it worked out that was because it forced me to tackle it on my own and I have learned a ton, plus a couple weeks later I sold the 49 for 2250, which helped with parts. On the flip side, I wish my friends were into cars so I could help them out....but family sometimes can be a bit akward, everyone has that long lost cousin that only calls when they have car trouble, I hate that.... That same cousin is a contractor, and when I needed a fence built I made a point to thim that I didnt want any special treatment, charge me what you would charge anyone else as I dont want to hear that he was busy if I needed repairs or whatnot.
I have the opposite, my f'law is super handy even makes furniture and he likes to knock out projects when he comes over. In return I listen to his long stories and keep the beer cold. We have a great relationship. I think if you want to keep the friendship, you might want to start letting him know when something is out of line for you. Like taking credit. Or if he's asking for too much help, either (a) say "whoa i'mma have start charging this is really eating into my side work time" or (b) "sure but I'll have to get something out of it so I'll do it for $___."
I read your post and haven't read the replies yet but just going from that......NEWSFLASH....he ain't your best friend! Best friends appreciate the smallest bit of help and want to make sure you are not out on the deal......bottles of Bourbon...cash......I mean, what would it cost them if you weren't around....... you are being used bro......kick that guy to the kerb.
You sir, have invented a new addition to the hotrodding phraseology! Seriously, that's a great word!.
Yeah, yeah, three in a row, but i have now read the whole thread and it seems there are a lot of guys like myself here, some in the bizz and some just handy with car stuff, who get tagged to do things gratis for aquaintances, with little recompense, again and again. As one poster suggested...get your radar working and choose wisely whom you wish to help with no expectation of reimbursement. You will know right away which people are worthwhile, because they will try to give you stuff in appreciation of your efforts.....anyone who claims your work as their own and gives you squat for your effort .........no point in even trying to understand it........you already know, they're just crap. Here's to all the people we know who are true friends and don't use us to further their own ends. No need to keep score with good people, it comes around.
The Jalopy Journal
