Ricky Bobby: Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
My favorite from CL: "Needs TLC" Me, after working on my car: "Guess I've done about all the damage I can do here." "Got 8 cylinders and uses 'em all" Commander Cody version of Hot Rod Lincoln
" Earl is Dead Low Prices Live On" That was a Famous quote that I coined in the early 80's when I had purchased a Earl Scheib francise here in Hartford Ct. I lasted about a year before I lost everything. I think what did me in was sticking to " I'll paint any car any color for just $99 " Friggin material costs went threw the roof rent went up and I didn't raise my prices accordingly. Now I run car faxes for a living
Haven't seen these... "Sounds like the pistons are swapping holes" (describing an engine that has serious problems) "He had an oil pan failure" (aka ventilated the oil pan) "The oil pan got a bad case of acne" (slightly less severe case of the above) "I cut the sumbitch twice and it's still too short!" "Wide open till ya see god, then brake." "That blind boy" (King Richard describing another driver that ran into him) "There's nothing wrong with the suspension another 50 horsepower wouldn't fix" "There's no such thing as too much cam, just not enough engine." "It has to be compression or spark" (someone after verifying an engine that wouldn't start was getting fuel). "He's so weird he makes up his own firing orders" "Get a bigger hammer" "The only replacement for cubic inches is cubic dollars" Smokey "My memory is as long as a mouse's peter" "Running at the speed of heat."
Parts for these old hot rods are easy to find-most of them can be found right there in your imagination -Jim
I think it went like this; "If it measures right, but looks wrong", "It's WRONG". But, " Even if it measures wrong, but looks right", It's right!... John Buttera
here's one. An old friend from childhood, "Crazy Larry", just recently got into the car scene with a cool old traditional '53 chev truck in primer. So, he calls the finished cars with nice paint, "shiners", and those like his, "real hot rods".
a couple i always liked but don't know who said them: "it may be ugly but it sure is slow!" and "the only gauge you need on a flathead is a vacuum gauge 'cause they suck!"
You can never have too many cars, just not enough space. (Me to my ex-boss; I should have known better) What is that - the box the Mark II came in? (Me describing the 1958 Lincoln)
"if Henry built it, I can fix it" ~ I have no idea who originally said it but I heard it a bunch from old timers in the mid-1980s when I was a kid and just getting into the hobby. I had forgotten it until I heard some elderly, unhealthy looking vendor say it at Chickasha fall 2010 as he was trying to hawk some of the roughest Model A parts I'd ever seen this side of a creek bed. hearing it brought me back to my roots.
If you went to sleep and dreamed that you had out run me, you would wake up pick up the phone call me and apologize!
Here's a couple from my dad. On the subject of my 394 Olds with a rod knock: "maybe the dipstick's too long." Another time I had this very problematic car I was just throwing money into: "jack up the radiator cap and slide a new car under it." Bob
Heard this one this morning at breakfast: "It's just a little skin. It'll grow back." I'm not famous but me in my garage: "I know it's in here some place." Then: I've gotta get this place cleaned up."
While watching some ARCA testing in Atlanta we saw a guy wreck and over heard this one from Ernie Irvin.....He didn't run out of track or run out of car.....He ran out of talent! If I win the lottery I am going to make Jay Leno's car collection look like a buy here-pay here lot!....A fellow Rod King!
This is from Islip Speedway in the pits in 1984, after the conclusion of the night's racing. Heavy alcohol consumption may have been involved on my part. I was talking about my bad night in my NASCAR street stock and blurted out... "racing sucks". Bill Park (modified driver of great success) was present, he turns to me and snaps, "LOSING sucks.". Bob
"Forget the house...How big is the garage!" <Me to my wife. "If the car's too loud, you're too old!" "Takes a Mopar to catch a Mopar" My Favorite for last (surprised it not on here)
The Jalopy Journal
