"Ah, hell.....it'll make it" "looks right...that look right to you?" My dad's favorite.... "how come you boys never got enought time to do it right, but ya always got enough time to do it twice?" That one would wad my step brother in a matter of nano seconds. and the worst possible, uttered by your buddy, who is on the other end/opposite side of the car... "uh-oh"
aircraft maintainers..."As long as she starts every other time, you'll be fine sir!" corrective actions for complaints with the aircraft: pilot: mouse in cockpit maint: cat installed. pilot: sound coming from port main wheelwell like a midget tapping with a hammer. maint: took hammer away from midget. pilot: dead bugs on windscreen. maint: live bugs put on order.
"hey bro is your car insured?" No, no--that's "hey bro WAS your car insured?" That doesn't feel tight enough...I'll give it a bit more to be safe. There's still three of them--that's enough to hold it on.
Two Best of all time.. " This ship is unsinkable." and "Let them go...what could a bunch of rag headed sand monkeys in Afghanistan do to the American economy."
Seems like the worst one lately is "I can't remember." This could be in response to: "Did you torque...," "Did you hook up...," "Did you tighten...," etc. Most of the time uttered when something just broke, won't start, and so on. When skating: "One more try!" A bad phrase around handrails...our crew NEVER says it anymore. Broken ankles, sacks, and other calamaties result. Bryan
"I'll have what he's having!" Regarding strong medication: "If 1 is good then 10 of them must be 10 times as good."
"Hey, honey! Put little timmy onto the hood of that really cool custom car with the really expensive looking paintjob. Don't worry about the soccer cleats he's wearing, or the icecream he's eating! I am sure the owner won't mind..."
Once I had a buddy sitting in my car, I was out of the car doing something useful. Anyway, he leans out of the window with my 9mm in his hand (He found it in the console), and says "There's no clip. Where's the clip?" Instead of punching him in the face, my famous last words were "It's in the glovebox..." He proceded to shoot out my stereo.
Another good one by your's truly: Pulled over for loud pipes... Cop: "This thing sounds like a TRUCK!" Repo: "So go pull over a truck!" Five minutes later my car was on a flatbed impounded as an unsafe vehicle.
You're sure it grounded. (something you do not what to hear in a fox hole) SHIT, were did the pin go.
Wonder what happens if we do this.....oh shit! It worked the last time I did that? What do you mean its not for sale? Everything is for sale. How much would it take to buy it? THAT MUCH?????? Your fricking nuts, it ain't worth that much.... Maybe if I tap it just a little with the hammer....is it suppose to look like THAT? As you try to return it to the parts store "It don't work. Yea, it looked like that when I took it out of the box, its not suppose to have those marks on it?"
"Damnitt Chuckie! I need to use that wrench, now get it out of there!" (place your own mental image here...)
'Kay, I'll put myself out there for this one: My bud was out & about, I helped him with his flattie-powered roadster while he was out. Went to hook up a 6-volt battery not realizing that it's a positive-ground world. Mistook a braided battery chord to be the ground/negative chord (as I'm used to). Battery was low, I went to charge it up on the 6/12 volt charger, accidentally left it on the low-12 selection for 10 minutes. For starters (bad pun, I know), I'm really lucky he still has a working Optima... I thought of the post I authored the minute I heard myself say to him, "...far as I've known, the braided chords are the negative chords." Flatties: I have so much to learn. Master, teach me more... (thank god it didn't take a face acid-burn to Learn Me 'Bout the Right Way) (THIS time...)
You DID torque it................right? I just picked this up................cheap And my favourite (and all to often used by my darling wife....) YOU did get the door keys.....didn't you?
The Jalopy Journal
