"That smell? Oh, it only leaks when I fill it clear up..." "Here, spin the mag and see if the points are opening." "I know I left it right HERE!" "I thought YOU measured it!" and finally... "I'm moving in with my parents!"
It's probably on my toolbox...you would have to see it. no problem! it just needs a little tweaking (typically followed by taking whatever we were talking about completely apart.) we sholud be able to knock it out in no time.
On a road trip a couple years ago, in the middle of nowhere, a buddy says to me: "Man I shouldn't have eaten that burrito." there were not enough windows to roll down.
I've worked in and around cars for quite awhile and if I had a dollar for everytime I heard someone say "All ya gotta do is..." LOL If it's that easy why the hell don't you do it???
My buddy wanted to bring a truck out one night to pull an engine. I told him to remove the A/C compressor and set it to the side but he said: "I'll just crack the line open a little..." PPPSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! The entire contents unloaded directly in his face. Shit I laughed till I slept. Other good one is: "Just tack it for now"
that reminds me of my old '71 vw superbeetle. i had a fairly...make that EXTREMELY loud hella air horn on that thing mounted in the pass footwell and wired to a little red button on the dash. inevitably, people would get in for a ride and see the little red button..."hey, what's that button do?"...and procede to push the button. well when that horn sounded at their feet, and it was fucking LOUD, they would jump like a frog in a frying pan. it was great!
"Hey, can I try driving your car?" "How fast will it go?" "You can beat him!" "That station looks dirty, I think I can make it to the next exit." "Do these pants make me look fat?" "No, they have nothing to do with it, dear."
"Your mother is a hampster, and your father smells of elderberries." "I saw Bobbleed do this in a movie once." "It shouldn't be that hard to get it back on the road. I'll take it." "Floor it. Whatever breaks, that was the problem." "Yes, I'd like to place an order for a Holley electric fuel pump." "We can't get another tie rod end to tie rod coupler today so we'll just weld this one back together. Just for now." "Nice dunebuggy."
The Jalopy Journal
