Funniest lines from the parts counter

Pepboys. Need a front brake hose for a 1989 mustang. The counter guy ask me if a mustang was made by Chevy!

 

Damn! If I was drinking some thing when I read your post it would have come out my nose! Maybe he was kidding?

 

And of course there is the favorite heard from the other side of the counter...
"I bought this and would like to return it because it didn't fix my problem."

 

Nope, he was that dumb.

 

"I didn't get you the wrong part, you've got the wrong car."

 

True story. When I was about 13. I was helping my uncle work on an old International oil truck he had. Needed a thermostat. We took it out and went to a local dealer. Told the parts man what truck we had. And showed him the part. "you didn't take that out of that truck". "yes we did, feel it, it's darn near still warm". After a few of minutes of this Laurel and Hardy routine. My uncle says his truck has the gold motor. Parts guy-"you didn't say that, thought you had the red motor". "That makes a big difference". They had it on the shelf.

 

You all complain about the parts counterperson, however, in this area (DeKalb, IL), I refer to our store as Advance Auto Parts RENTAL. Which is because most of our customers and most of our shops have the diagnostic skills of a turnip. And not a ripe turnip, either. I, myself, have had to go to a shop and flare a brake line for him, because he didn't know how. I've had to show a shop how to remove an idler pulley. And, yes, we have the average college kid who knows nothing (art scholarship, really!!), and it's not that we don't hire the knowledgeable, they DON'T APPLY!!!

Oh, yeah, today: I need an upper hose for my truck (gives me what he thinks his truck is); I look it up, two choices, radiator width determines. He doesn't know, tells me to guess. I do. He comes back, with his buddy, who gives me a DIFFERENT truck, for which I find the hose. Seriously, at least have some idea of what for you are ordering parts.

Cosmo

 

I've been behind the counter , machine shop, mechanicing & back to the counter. Seen it all. Now I Pay attention to the moon phases on my calendar , & warn the guys working my counters when their about to go full. Lucky for me " independent" 40 plus years in our family & being non-corporate I can hire old retired mechanics & experienced help & we school a few younger counterman how the books can always bail you out. & all of us own hot rods & muscle cars that we build ourselves. I love what i do. Best line ever from behind the counter tough ..... But guy came in needing rod bearings for 350 , I look at his old half shells they're orig gm std sizes stamped on backs , he looks at them says those aren't right, I go & get him some more sizes all his request, customers always right, all the while warning him what will happen , suggesting he mic. crank he looks at .010, .020, & .030 took some .020's squinted at them & said that's them! His pal came in a week later & said that it spit one out the pan cracking the block. as my hamb tag says .... Everybody's normal till you get to know them! Flux.

 

Flux is correct. It's not always the parts guy. In high school I worked at a gas station. A lady came in and wanted me to take the winter air out of her tires, and put summer air in. I tried to tell her that didn't need to be done. She went on to school me in the fact her son-in-law was a Real mechanic. He told her this needed to be done, and right away and if I wouldn't do it she would go somewhere else. I put it on the lift, changed the air in all five tires and pit it down. She was so happy she gave me a 5.00 tip. I also had my sister-in-law call and tell me the parts store sold her the wrong oil for her Chevette. It was too hard to get in and it was going everywhere. When I went to her house, I saw she was trying it put it in the motor thru the dipstick tube!!

 

I realize that it sounded like I think the guy is totally lame but he is.
There is a another guy in the shop, who goes out of his way too help you.
So that's always a pleasure to go talk with him!
Nicest guy i know at any shop!

I just realitet my post was not at funny as some of the others.

 

The guy ahead of me line says "I need an H.E.I. coil for a small block 350."
Person behind counter "What make?"

Me "I need a rocker cover gasket for a Ford, 300, 6.
Counterman "The computer doesn't show a Ford 306."

Thankfully I found a parts store with a counterman with old cars!

 

Dealer story, not parts counter.
My father-in-law tells me story of his father special ordering one of the first 1952 or 1953 Chevy automatic pickups (in small KS town). He was a heavy equipment operator, but lost a leg in accident, so as an amputee he special orders first Chevy pickup in town with an automatic transmission. Truck comes in &
Dealer hands keys to teenager "Lot Boy" to bring customers new truck around front.
Boy comes back a few minutes later & says sorry can't move that truck.
Dealer: why?
Lot boy: They forgot to put clutch pedal in it.
Well, that storys 60+ yrs old & I still know the "Lot Boy" at dealer. Story sounds funnier every year.

 

As I said before my friend is a parts man so one from his point of view-
He answers the phone "Auto Plus this is Greg"
The reply "How much to neuter my cat?"
Greg "What!?,...this is a parts store."
"Oh" they hung up

 

I had a gal come in the other day and she said she owns a 2 wheel drive Trailblazer. Wanted to buy the button that goes in the dash to make it 4 wheel drive. She was as serious as a heart attack.

 

Did you tell her that was a dealer only part?

 

that might have been my neighbors girlfreind , we told her to find some blinker fluid too .

 

when I walk into my parts store ( not one of the zone, advance , or boys stores) there are 2 counter guys who tell the younger guys on the staff that they will take care of me , and when they do to have them watch, as who knows what I am working on now , and the older guys ( ones the manager ) often will have to dig out the old books to see if there is a picture crossover in the back . several times I have gone in there to buy certified fasteners they sell because I do not trust the ones from the big box store and my local hardware store even thought the piece of paper makes them 2x the price and I do not have a local farm implement dealer near by with a large stock .

 

I get the guy ,whom I ask, 6 or 8 cylinder?? Him: It's a five liter. Me: 6 or 8 cylinder...
And they're both 4.9 liters...

Cosmo
P.S. Don't even get me going on the 'Vee6' crowd. People are now convinced that 'Vee6' is generic for '6 cylinder'. And Jeep offered an inline and a V in the same (or similar) years.

 

This ones from my dad when our local N.A.P.A. still had a machine shop.
He phoned the woman who owned the store picked up-
"N.A.P.A."
My dad "Is D.J. available?"
Women "No he's boring"
My dad "Really I find him very entertaining"
Dead air on the other end of the phone.

 

I can't stand the fact when I say "six cylinder" people think V6.
My father and I are the other way.
We think Inline 6 when people mean V6.

 

Need an oil filter for a 348 Chevy.

What's it in?

27 model T

You mean a 350, Chevrolet didn't make a 348.

So I took him out in the parking lot and showed him one.

Posted using the Full Custom H.A.M.B. App!

 

One of these days I'm going to be told they have a Skylark, and I'll just say, Nice Hupp!!
Cosmo

 

what i got one time was, "ensel? what's an ensel?"

 

Picked up the phone "best buy auto parts"
Other end(in asian accent) "there is blood in my stool"
Me "what!"
Other end "there is blood in my stool"
I hang up.

Later I find out our phone number was one digit off from the clinic down the street. Got lots of misdialed call but that one had me cracking up.

 

Girlfriend calls the store
" my car was low on oil and I added a little and it was still low, so I kept adding and now it's full to the top but the dipstick still reads low"
I tell her to bring it in.
Turns out she was adding oil to the power steering pump

 

Should have sold him some stop leak

 

Somebody sent me this a while back. Had me cracking up.
It's called "life as a car dealership counterman"
Can't believe somebody took the time to make this animation. Haha

 

Is there a way to make this movie mandatory in public school!!

This is a pice of art, so simple and straight forward and when you think about it sharp and realistic!

I love it and fear for man kind.

How did you make it's fare in adult life without getting killed, that's epic.

 

Not what a counter guy said but what he did or is still doing....

I was new to cars/hot rods (first car was '70 Chevelle) and a buddy and I went to the parts store to get some parts. My buddy told me to ask the counter guy for some parts from a different vehicle. So... like I said I was knew to cars/hot rods and told him that I needed freeze plugs for my VW Bug. He said he couldn't find them in catalogs on the counter but said he would check a few other catalogs and get back to us. He literally pulled a stack of catalogs down and started going through them one by one... meanwhile my buddy was in tears and dragging me out of the store and explained to me on the way home what just happened. Little did I know at the time, the joke was on me as well...

 

I always tell my parts guy what color the car is, how many doors it has and usually add that it's a deluxe edition