Funniest lines from the parts counter

In the mid 70's and being new to the buisness my boss told me to phone the local Ford dealer in Winchester, Bonnell Ford.
I needed an interior door handle for a 70's Torino.
From past experience I already knew to ask for parts at the switchboard and then request body parts to further expedite the call.
Call went thru and I asked the counter guy for body parts.
He replied " what did you say, body parts?"
I simply replied "Yes, body parts please."
Then the counter guy unloaded on me, swearing at me, calling me a sicko, a whacko, and a lot of other terrible names.
WTF I'm thinking, what did I say to set this kat off?
Then he screams back at me......"This is the Winchester Cemetary Department, what kind of a creep are you?"

"Oops, wrong number, very sorry."

 

Had a great experience at the local mom & pop Federated Auto parts store. I needed power steering and alternator belts for my OT '72 Chevy ramp truck. As I walk in the door carrying the belts the 55-ish woman behind the counter looks up and sez: "Ahhh, looks like you need belts for an early 70's chevy truck." Before I even got to the counter she had dissapeared into the back and came out with'em.

You gotta love people who are good at what they do!

 

Humber,,,,super snipe?

 

used to get asked "anything I can help you find" at the local hardware store untill they got tired of hearing about what obscure thing I was trying to create from unrelated pieces to use in an unintended way. I blew their mind so many times that now they just scurry the other way when they see me come in. one old guy would ask what kind of "hair brained scheme I had today". that alwase made me laugh but he's retired now so I just get the scurrying.

 

parts person on my mud bogger:

"how'd you figure that out?"


An 80's Chevy S10 ExCab truck w/1972 Ford Dana 60 rear axle, a sprung over Dana 44 Jeep Wagoneer front axle and springs. 1980's Dodge 3/4 ton rotors and brakes. 90's Chevy van brake hoses. 60's Chevy tie rod ends on Jeep tie rod. The transfer case, a divorced '76 Ford NP205 behind a Chevy 2WD 700R4 trans & 327. Jeep Cherokee Pitman arm on S10 steering box with a modifed Dodge tie rod and ends for a crossover drag link.

 

The folks who sell these computer systems tell the owners/managers that they make the parts counter biz so easy, anyone off the street can seem like an experienced counterperson. So the gullible owner/manager buys the system, hires Willie the Wandering Wino and his sidekick Meth-head Fred to replace the older counter guys who are "skewing my insurance rates." Then he sits back and wonders why his business goes to hell.

I've been a parts manager on the dealership level, and I know this to be fact. I've heard the sales pitches. When the manager balks at buying the "miracle" software, usually the owner buys it anyway...and then does his best to cut payroll to the bone.

As a parts customer, I cringe when I run into these people behind the counter. On my International pickups--a '51, a '52, and a '66--whenever I need ignition parts other than spark plugs, I tell them it's for a '66 Chevy with a 235, instead of a SD220, a BD264, or a BG241 International...and then pray they get THAT right. [Those Delco points distributors didn't change a lot from the '50 to the '70's...]

I've seen horror stories from either side of the counter, and I know the doofus counterperson and the****hole customer are just about equal. Back in 1994, I could make $10-$12 an hour as a parts counterperson at a dealership. Nowadays, the same job is lucky to pay $9 an hour, same as McDonald's. So that's another reason Meth-head Fred and Willie the Wandering Wino are behind the counter, instead of an experienced, competent counterperson.

 

It may have been mentioned already, but this is our future; and there IS a way to make it better...

Instead of stomping out and whining that nobody "gets it" anymore, try establishing a relationship with one counter-person and educate them to your plight. I usually pick a girl if there is one working. Most guys figure they won't know what they're doing (WRONG), so they have something to prove by being helpful; and then there's that whole mother instinct we can take advantage of. Regardless, go back to that same person every time, and leave the attitude outside. Once they "win" a few for you, their status at the store will go up, and it gets to be a lot smoother sailing after that.

I actually started teaching automotive technology 15 years ago because I was so pissed at ignorant counter-people. A few years later I realized that the real problem was my approach.

NO ONE ELSE is gonna teach them, so we have to.

 

I usually make it easy for the counter guy. I pick out a make and model for the part that I want. The best one for me was actually before the computer explosion. I asked the counter guy for a 6V headlight bulb. He said 4 light system or 2 light system? He would not go to the light bulb shelf until I specified 4 bulbs or 2. I finally told him I'd give him a hundred bucks for every 6V 4 bulb system H/Ls that he could find in the back. I really wasn't sure if they stocked them but all I wanted was for him to look and see.

 

Having a Studebaker is a challenge because even when you're not being a smart****, the counter kid doesn't get it... And we all get "Who makes it?", "Is it a Ford?", etc.

The local NAPA people are pretty quick with knowing your needs and they typically have a Timpkin book if you need bearings.

In the Detroit area we had Murray's Auto Parts (bought out by O'Reilly's) and I loved that place. It was set up like a grocery store. You could ask for help or find it yourself. Ignition parts, oil filters, brake pads, etc., were all on the shelves with parts books to look up specific specs. The larger stuff like starters and alternators were at the back counter. There would be a few stroller parts guys to help find stuff and the guys at the counter knew their stuff. When done, you just take your shopping cart to the cashier. I really miss that here in Florida. Advance Auto and Auto Zone are kind of a joke in comparison.

The local Chevy dealer has a parts guy in the body shop. If I'm looking for parts for a 70's or 80's GM car, he can get part numbers and if a dealer has it on it's shelf in the US, he let's me know. A true car guy, he has a '70 GTO Judge.

I have more problems with salvage yards that deal with vintage cars. It can take over a week for them to tell me if they have what I need. This gets frustrating when you are on a time crunch.

 

Me: "I need brake shoes for a Ford nine inch".
Counter Guy: "Front or rear"

 

Yes, a real car, built in England by the Rootes Motor Group, which was owned by Chrysler during the Sixties. These were even sold in the US for a time through select Chrysler dealers in the US and Canada in the early to mid-'60s. . Pretty neat cars, sized a little bigger than a Plymouth Valiant of the same era.

 

Me: I need a (anything) for a late 60's small block chevy.
Guy: Uh, what year, make and model?
Me: Never mind.

 

Not too many of them left unfortunately......

 

I only say this since you say "anything". Around '67 or '68, there were a few things that changed (crank journals for one).

I understand the frustration, but at the same time feel worse for the parts guys. Yes, I remember when... But carbs haven't been used on 'new' cars since 1990 (Crown Vic w/5.0L?) and in most cases, a bit longer. Most Chevy's and other GM engines are stamped with the application right down to A/C applications. Know what you have.

 

I meant more of a typical "general item", like say a cap and rotor for example.

 

I think the 1990 full-size GM wagons with the Olds 307 were the last carbureted cars available to the general public, but the '91 CVPI with the 351 was the last carbureted American car.

Civilian Crown Vics went to EFI back in the '80s, didn't they?

 

I agree that there are dumb people on both sides of the counter,and I agree that a good parts house is make it or break your patience and cardiac health,with that said I have had some awesome ones,usally at tba's and napa's but sometimes at autozones too. with that said i walked into a local autozone one day looking for a comon part for my comuter car( broke guy in medic school at this point) Me: I need a water pump for a '90 honda civic.
Clerk: What year?
Me"'90 civic ,such and such model and motor
Clerk: We dont have any .
Me: (out of money and patience at this point) You dont have parts for a '90 honda civic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How bout a water pump for a '70 chevy 350!!!
If your out of those too you might as well close the doors as those are kinda the bread and*****er .

 

this all BS but it is frustrating just the same. I had a 48 plymouth with a 55 cad engine and trans, 56 mercury power steering, 60 buick power brakes, 61 dodge rear end and brakes. mark lV air conditioning. My ex wife got the car after the divorce and had to sell it because no one she could find wanted to figure out what she had.

My favorite one liner was at the parts counter at a Cadillac Honda dealership. a honda customer was buying small dress up parts, everything he bought fit in one hand.

he looked at the parts guy and said "$124 for these few things?"

Parts guy never batted an eye and said "if you want economy, you have to pay for it"
I still laugh every time I think about it

 

Most part stores have a website ,just look up you own parts and give the counter person the part number.You can't go in and ask for brakes for a 9 inch ford and expect them to know what car or truck they came off of.

 

Just asking for "brake shoes for a Ford nine inch'....Is just being an****HOLE!

 

I set a customer in his place while on the phone one evening, as I work part time for a major parts store. I asked.. " who is the mechanic, who is the parts counter guy? - You are asking me over a telephone to diagnose a problem with a vehicle I have not seen or dealt with personally, within minutes when you have had it to 3 other *ASE Master Mechanics* and they cannot figure it out??!! let alone, for my paltry $8.xx an hour when the shop itself charges $65/hr and uses $6000 scan tools ? I am not a miracle worker, just a parts guy that loves being honest to people"... he didn't call back.

 

Guy at napa told me today to bring in my old voltage regulator so he can get a part number off it to order me the correct one instead of searching his computer for year, make, model. I asked him what good is that going to do since it probally has been changed out over the last 64 years, which I know first hand it has because the current one on there I got from a guy for free.

He got on his soap box and told me how I can switch out all my bulbs and keep them in a box and convert to 12v real easy.

 

wow it is great to see that so many of my fellow hat rodders are jerks to a fellow human being . just because you know it doesnt mean they do. so :} treat them parts clowns like you would like to be treated, cause he might be your best buddys son . and he liked hot rods till the jerks that drive them came in and was a jerk to him . smile a lot and be patient

 

:d

 

1986 is the general year for the switch to EFI in Fords.

^^^This comment^^^
This is what I preach too!

Eery now and then I have gotten behind a local hot rodder in line acting like an**** and I have taken a few aside to explain to them how much of an**** they are being for no reason... I will never understand some rodders desire to be an****hole to people, it doesn't make you "cool" to act like that.

 

Me: Where can I find the Turtle Wax?
Counterman: Sorry sir, we dont sell pet supplies.

 

"hi my name is mary, may i help you?"

 

I took in a brake drum to have the ID turned. The counter lady (who I bet had only ever seen disc brakes), measured the ID and said, "Its all ready too small, we'll have to sell you a new one".

 

rotfl I was waiting for someone to pop up with an 8 door thingamajig

 

I was helping a friend restore an old cab years ago. We needed an alternator, since the old one was burnt up, and a couple of other parts. Went to the parts house, and put the alternator and the other parts up on the counter. Told the kid (he was maybe 17...maybe!) that I needed an alternator for a 1969 Checker. Without a pause, he said "Marathon sedan, wagon, or Aerobus?"...For 1993, and a 17-year-old kid even knowing what a Checker was, much less the three models, was very impressive!