HAIKU: Let's Get a Little SOPHISTIMACASHUN Up in Here. HOT ROD POETRY? Yeah, so?

WTF
Use the search function
Don't bring up four year old threads
Make up your damn mind

 

Haiku random, so?
Words, no sense it makes to me
Six feet under, shit!

Ah, hell, not again!
"What's this car worth?" threads suck ass
More yakety yak!

Flavor of the week
Red rims and flat black, passe'
Orca girls? Hell, no!!

Turning ignition
Will this bitch start up for me?
Timing is way off

Carbruetors swill fuel
Lots of gasoline swallowed
Makes much power, yes!

Too poor to buy new
I like the rods of the old days
Style and class, I dig!

Hemi powered hot rod
Dual carbs, magneto, blower
Nine seconds, hang on!

Flattie Ford V-8
Simple and elegant, yeah!
Finned heads and Strombergs

Fifties Caddy mill
Overhead valves, quite the deal then
Much torque and power

Hudsons in NA$CAR
Ruled the roost in '53
No one could touch them!

One-hundred ninety-nine
So close to that two-hundred!
Try again next year

Wheel came loose, flew off
The car tumbles down the track
This is gonna hurt!

 

Cool old 409
heavy pistons (car gods weep!)
very fast, then BANG
------------

Mart3406

 

Power Parker

Crybaby doll, lawnchair and diet cola
You are needing to be seen
Everyone hates you

 

Sorry guys, I couldn't resist any longer!

Henway Motors Corp
Bad joke and mythical car
Only on the HAMB
-------------------
Mart3406 ('Official Henway Motors
Corporate Historian, Archivist and
now also, official company Haiku
poet too!')
==========================

 

Mechanical Brakes

Mechanical Brakes
no need to stop me quickly
I blow through the light

 

whats funny, is the picture wasnt taken at Billetproof.... but ok...

 

Rusty Bolt
Rusty bolt,
been there a long time
its coming loose,
its coming
its coming
oh shit, it broke
Where's my beer?

 

wasnt worried about it
rat rod pictures are silly
should make KIRK! happy

 

bongos beating
palm trees sway
hey you San Fran freak where is my happy meal toy

 

ugh running too rich
six holley carburetors
time to switch the jets

 

Grenade Inspector

Grenade Inspector
Makes lots of stupid comments
You need demoted

 

Band-aid Box

I have scraped the skin off of my knuckle
where the fuck are the band-aids?
blood tastes funny

 

i am so hungry
drive hot rod to taco shop
carnitas rule, man

 

Some don't understand
what a haiku really is
yet they keep posting

Five syllables first
then seven in the next line
five more in the last

Lokar or Gennie?
bias ply or radials?
how much is it worth?

Will an s-10 frame
fit under my new rat rod?
Who makes a good kit?

 

yes it is so true
i think they were in shop class
absent from english

 

My motor girl, my motor girl,
how she doth set my heart awhirl
as, with a rush, she madly hikes
along the overcrowded pikes!
Her silvery laughter is the horn
she sounds pedestrians to warn
that she is coming at full speed
and that they'd better give her heed.

The wheels that whirl her on her way
are made of human hearts, they say.
She runs along right gracefully,
no matter what the traffic be;
and every heart along the road
takes gladly on the loving load,
and with a whiz and lively whir
obeys the slightest whim of her.

Her clutch is light, but O, how firm!
Away from it no wight could squirm,
however hard he'd strain or scrape
in the mad effort to escape.
Her gear is high, and ne'er a cop
long the line would dare to stop
her in the pace that she doth choose
on lanes and streets and avenues.

Her motor lights are deeply blue
as are the heavens' fairest hue,
and danger flash to all who dare
to brave their self-reliant stare.
Her hood, ah, what a thing of grace,
of feathers made and filmy lace,
from whose dim depths the lights flash forth
like the Aurora of the North!

Ah, motor girl—would thou wert mine!
A day with thee would be divine—
a life with thee could only be
one mad joy ride of ecstasy!
But sad my fate—
and hence my groan—
she never can be quite my own,
for though my heart doth call her queen
she'd bust me buying gasoline!


--John Kendrick Bangs writing as Horace Dodd Gastit in Harper's Weeky c. 1912

 

^^^ Couldn't be much further from a Haiku! LOL drag up an older thread and get it wrong

 

I'm so rockabilly
my dick has sideburns
uh..

Wait.... I can't count syllables..

 

I know how I suck
And got it awfully wrong:
Couldn't find old thread.

 

Condensed version:

Wheels of human hearts,
Her clutch, light, but O! So firm.
My motor girl rolls.

Howzat?

 

Sorry had to dig this thread up. It's just way too much fun:

How many hammers
Could a HAMBer hit if a
HAMBer hits hammers?

How many fingers
Could a HAMBer hit if a
HAMBer swings hammers?

 

Off Topic more chrome
Will get up in Grill
Before the devils dead

 

There's a social group for this ; HAMBKU.

'Name My Car'-

 

subscribe to this thread
laugh out loud and think too much
can not wait for more

 

How about hot rod limericks? I'm sure there's a lot of potential there.

I sometimes go into Spontaneous Limerick Mode, but not this early in the morning

 

Oh my god, is just realized, I think in haiku's

 

Monday Morning Vision

brightly polished scoop
clearance hole in rusted hood
lots of gnats on grille

Field Find

Grass grows through floorboards
Birds have nested in the dash
Did it sit too long ?

 

just saw a haiku post on another site. thought I'd bump this up since I found it amusing.

 

reinvent the past
too tall cuffs tattoos everywhere
rockabilly queers