I almost got bitten by a junk yard dog yesterday.

That's too funny, my pup is named after that famous junkyard dog (from the movie "Stand By Me"). He's not much help around the shop though, except for supervising.

 

This post is almost two years old. Thwe junkyard's gone, the Buick's gone to GM heaven, the dog's probably dead.

This place is weird.

 

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Thanks dude.

 

Jesus this thread is old, but it's still funny as hell....

The "amp" stuff is probably from the past two years of the HAMB changing and it has effected the "&" symbols some way...Don't worry there's no hidden meaning there

 

Jeez---I was worried. Thought that the english language was evolving or something and nobody'd told me.

 

The English language IS evolving, mang.

 

My grandma went in to a s****yard with my dad once back in Pittsburgh, and got bit by a copperhead. I always make sure to make plenty of noise to make them slithery *****es scurry away.

Went into this junkyard with my dad. The dog let me pet him. My kind of JY dog.

Junkyard stories never get old.

 

Bring a double bacon cheeseburger in your yard toolbox--that will stop 99% of the dogs. The other 1% cannot be stopped. Always be aware of where there is a fairly intact car near where you are working, one that has all windows, and keep the close door on it open--that's your bomb shelter if you can stay ahead long enough...
Anyway, if you're not good friends with the dog, you are not spending enough time at the junkyard for a healthy lifestyle.

 

How do you stop a junkyard cow?

 

I had one of those before my current mutt...awesome breed!

 

Many years ago in California I was up in the hills looking for old truck parts. I'd heard about a Hippie commune that had piles of old stuff for cheap or free. I finally got to the place in the heat of the afternoon and the Head Hippie said, "sure man, look around all you want, but watch out for the goats." Well, the place was covered up with goats, and goat ****. And no sooner had he left us than this big ugly mean ****er GOAT turns up and proceeds to follow us around. Whenever your back was to him he'd sneak up and **** the **** out of you, like it was a joke or a contest or something. This was unnerving especially when your head was up under a hood or fender. After a couple of hours of this I waited on him and watched for the next round. Just when he got up behind me and ready to make his move I turned around fast and brained him with a steering arm I had found on the ground. He made this really wierd goat sound and ran off never to be seen again. I collected my parts and left quickly in case I'd maybe killed him or something, but I figured we were even at that point whatever happened.

 

"How do you stop a junkyard cow?"
No prob. Give her a salt lick. Your blood will do fine for that...
Most pestiferous animal I've encountered in a yard: "Billy the Kid", junkyard goat. He alternated between high velocity ****ing and just rubbing his head against any available person, hard enough to to keep your attention focused. You could only work one-handed, with the other hand firmly gripping the little *******'s horn.
French junkyard animals: I tried to check out a really big, well-organized French junkyard once--they were greatly puzzled by the idea of junkyard tourism, but let me walk around for a while. Every row or two there was a dog chained to a house, dogs presumably turned loose at closing time but entirely peaceful during the day--real professionals. The interesting thing was the nature of the dog houses themselves--every one was an early Renault hood, the bullnose kind for the cars with radiator behind engine! I wondered how long that yard had been in existence--some of those hoods were likely from the taxis that ferried soldiers to the Marne!
That junkyard also had a bare block from a super-rare, super-strange '35-36 Ford V8-60. I saw it and couldn't quite believe what I saw until years later I found some confirmation. These things were four-main, four exhaust port V8's, with almost every part differing from the common late 60.

 

Anybody from Toledo, Ohio remembers The Pig Man's junk yard. '50s-'70s cars--all gone now. He'd let pigs roam the place. Some years he had more pigs than others. One time I got chased up onto the hood of a car by the ****ers. Yeah, they're just pigs, but they were about 600 pounds of ham-on-the-hoof, and from everything I'd heard of hog hunting stories, their skulls were thicker than my 1/2-inch breaker bar would affect.

Was out west with a couple of Brits. To begin with, these two guys were a little un-nerved by the fact that every street sign they'd looked at for hundreds of miles had bullet holes in them. It was also Mule Deer season, so all everyone was riding around in trucks with rifles in gun racks and dead animals in the bed. "I say, ****** lot of guns you have here...nothing like this in the UK. Do the primary schoolers carry them too?!"
So we see this yard on the edge of town, and decide to have a look. Pull in, talk to the owner, and he says "Sure, go ahead." Then he starts making small talk about the cars, the town, the highway it's off of. We don't want to be rude, so we listen. Then he says "I'm going to put a fence up next year. All these strangers coming through town see the cars, then come back at night and steal parts off of them. Then I have to shoot them." And then he simply turned around and walked away.

The whole town was like that. Another guy called us a couple of Gawd-Damned Camera Pimps! when we took a shot of our Challenger in front of his service station. We should have expected it from the town that beat down Super Soul.

-Brad

 

Years ago a buddy of mine told me about this small junkyard 100 or so cars mostly old chevy's. I needed one sbc double hump head and some misc. stuff. We met the owner and his son at the yard., The owner looked to be 95 years old and we explained what we wanted. The old guy pointed us in direction of the the parts. We found what we wanted and we were removing the head, all of a sudden I feel something brush up against my ear. I turn real slow and I'm facing down a 12 Gauge barrel. Boy does a gun barrel look big at close range of 2 inches. The old man asks me what I'm doing and I tell him. The old guy then goes on to tell us we didn't have permission nor did we ask him for premission. Thank the owners son appears and defuses the whole thing. It seems the old guy was loosing his mind. The shotgun wasn't loaded but my pants were after the close encounter.

 

Close to 20 years ago we were in Arkansas and saw this old house covered with license plates and we see a bunch of cars out back so we pull up to the place and about 10 dogs come running up to our truck, I yell out the window to a guy out front "hey are those dogs going to bite us if we get out?" and he replies "they ain't hardly bit nobody", great answer? so we tempt fate and get out and ask about the cars and the guy says you'll have to ask the guy in there , so we walk in and ask and the guy says "sure look around", I ask about the dogs again and he tells me the same thing about the dogs, "they ain't hardly bit nobody" then they start laughing and they say "you ain't gotta worry about them dogs, look in that room, look in there boys" OK? so I look in this room and there's the biggest boa constrictor I've ever seen, seemed like it took up about half of this bedroom and they're laughing "how'd ya' like ta crawl through that window" After we left me and my friends were like WTF, after that I always wondered if they were feeding dogs to the snake, seemd like there were 50 dogs in the yard. Pretty funny.

 

Old beet,

I just about **** my pants I was laughing so hard!...that was funny! Your keen sense of comedic timing is absolutely superb.

Thor - god, my stomach hurts...

 

No matter how many times I hear that joke, I always giggle a little when I hear it.

When my friends and I were broke *** 16 years olds, my buddy had a 6 cylinder 67 Mustang and somebody's mom gave him a '69 Fairlane 4dr with a decent V8, but no brakes, and he wanted to put the Fairlane engine in his Mustang. We went to the junkyard to see if he could afford an 8" that would bolt in. There were a few 67-68 V8 Mustangs in there (this was 1980), and one of them was sitting on top another car, with the rear end hanging under it, just unbolt the U-bolts and two shackles and we could carry it away. could be done in about 10 minutes with hand tools.

We also noticed a big hole in the back fence... big enough for two broke *** 16 year olds and a Ford 8" rear end... it had a lot of tree growth and palmettos on the other side, good cover... An idea was hatched.

We came back about 12 am and parked the my car about a half a block away, and made our way around the back of the yard. We found the hole and went in and heard a noise like a chain rattling... Oh ****.. a dog! We dove through hole as fast as we could and threw some branches in front of the hole so the dog couldn't get out.

Now what?

Lets do like they do in the cartoons, let's give him a steak and he'll be our friend... how much money do you have?

About 3 bucks

Lets go to the 24 hour Albertson's and get some meat... we did, but all we could afford was hamburger.

We went back, and made enough noise for the dog to be curious and threw in a wad of hamburger, he went for it. Just like they tell you in the cartoons!

The hamburger kept him busy for a while, and all he wanted when he came back was more hamburger.

We went back a few more times for little ****, but it just became a pain in the ***, so we went back to buying stuff a little while later.

Let this be a lesson to todays hoodlums... Hamburgers are always the answer.

 

"Let this be a lesson to todays hoodlums... Hamburgers are always the answer"...unless it's a smart enough dog that realizes:
A. You represent 180 pounds of hamburger offering him 1/2 pound of hamburger...and...

B. There's no need to choose--he might just as well eat both.

 

dude...you need a better job!

 

All of these stories have left me laughing pretty darn good! I hope more people relate some of their stories also!It's great! Gary 4T950 Chevy Guy

 

It's a new secret code designed to confuse people who live in Canada! Gary 4T950 Chevy Guy

 

Here's a good one. One day my mom calls me all freaked out. Apparently she was out on her bike and was chased by a pit bull. It was right on her, snapping and snarling, basically she was inches from being mauled. She's practically in tears telling me this. So of course being the protective son that I am I get all pissed and go pick her up and we drive over to the the house where the pit's owner was so I could have a nice (or not so nice) discussion with him about the responsibities involved with owning this type of dog (I have an American Bulldog).

So we pull up and I get out of the car and mom says "OH MY GOD!!! THERE IT IS!!! BE CAREFUL!!!"

I see the dog in question and get back in the car and say to my mom..... "uhhh, mom, that's a JACK RUSSELL."

 

I have A Jack Russell THAT thinks It's a Pit bull !

 

Most Jack Russell's think they are Pit Bulls. And to
LUX BLUE who said "Dude you need a better job" This is my p***ion, along with hotrods and cl***ic cars I love to train and evaluate protection dogs. Since I hit 40 I need to stop decoying, but I still need to get out there sometimes and show the young punks how its done.lol