Rocky's post being mad at his car got me thinking, if your car could talk back what would it say? "Hey it's not my fault I'm not running!" "Boy you really screwed that up!" I know what mine would say: "You said I would be candy apple red, you promised! Cheapskate!!"
STOP PULLING MY WIRE ! Stay outta my undercarriage Stop putting junk in my trunk Will you stop touching me !!!!!!! treat me nice and take me for a drive.
"Jeez... There's a little of me over here... And a little of me over there..." And just what do you expect to do about all my missing parts?!? You don't even know... DO you? LOOK at me!!!
If she could talk, I'm pretty sure she'd have the mouth of a sailor, would be brash, bawdy, and as absolutely passive aggressive as she could be. Just like my wife. But, it's the constant nagging!!! Geez!!! This warning light and that warning light... this new sound and that new sound... listen, sweetcheeks, you only have to tell me once! No need to hound me for months until it's fixed!!!
“Hey I’ll keep quiet about some of the stuff that happened in here if you change my oil and maybe give me a rub down with some wax”
Thinking back about the 2dr. Falcon Wagon I had in HS and JC and the 4x4 Chevy carryall I had in the Army its good they can't talk. Luckily the statue of limitations has long since passed for both. And both met an untimely demise after I sold them.
Jesus wept. You really are a fuckin' idiot. All this time and money wasted. But hey, thanks for the climate controlled garage....
You said when you bought me you were going to take all the old man out of me, well have you looked in the mirror lately?
"Getting old sucks, my valves are receding, I leak bodily fluids, my u-joints are stiff and it takes me 20 minutes to get started in the morning."
Mine would say shoot me, shoot me please! Pleeease put me out of my misery from this asshole. God I hate you, I hate you so very much. We never go out anymore.
Mine would say: Oh Boy! Where are we going to go today? A short trip, or a long trip, doesn't matter, let's GO! Don't worry about those little oil spots I leave everyplace we stop. I'm just marking the places I've been, so I'll know if I've been there before. If you take me, I promise to get you back home (90,000 + miles, got me home every time except one, and that was less then a 1/2 mile from home. 3 days before that we were 300 miles from home, not a problem).
"Oh, thank you so much for getting that nasty Chevrolet engine out of me! It was so disgusting to have that in my mouth! Yukk!!!"
The Jalopy Journal
