I'm out in the garage/sign shop painting a set of bongos with some creepy "mondo lounge" kinda tunes playin' in the background.
Later this evening I'm headed down to the Wooly Swamp. I can't believe it, I just have to find out for myself, there's somethings in this world you just can't explain.
I was out of grade school at six, High school at eight, College at ten and a half And after three years pre-med I was the head Doctor of Brain Surgery. After operating I'd pause, Tighten the gauze Wait for applause While my patients laughed hysterically Obviously, They were in s***ches over me... I was a teenaged brain surgeon, A teenaged brain surgeon, A knocked-out, fractured brain surgeon The sharpest operator in town. Even when I was in grade school, I had that Medical Look, I never got past the appendix Whenever I opened a book. While the other kids were diggin **** Clark from coast to coast I was diggin Dr Killdere, Like man you know the most! Whenever I went out dancing, To make my night complete, I brought along my stethoscope Man, you hear the wildest beat! One night the band was playing, "I got you under my skin" I scared a fella half to death When I said "May I cut in?!?" I was a teenaged brain surgeon, A teenaged brain surgeon. A rockin' rollin' brain surgeon The sharpest operator in town!!!!! Yeah...I listened to my Dad's old "Spike Jones Screaming Spooktacular" record every Halloween as a kid...can't believe I STILL remember the lyrics! Spike Rocks!
"Vampira winked her Evil Eye As Frankenstein came dancing by..." Great record...one my all-time faves!
FatHack, Krupanut..... I've been in love with that lp cover art since the mid 60's when I discovered it in the back of Famous Monsters magazine.... "Everything happens to me...."
Yeah, Spike Jones was the Weird Al Yankovic of his day! He did funnied-up versions of popular songs at the time, as well as his originals! His rendition of "You always hurt the one you love" was probably his most famous tune! I had some of his albums handed down to me from my Dad...but my ex-wife took 'em and knowing her...probably threw 'em out long a go!
Draglinkscc... that day of the mexican day of the dead getup is cool! My friend dressed up as a mexican wrestler one year - he didn't know a lick of spanish except that "luchador" was spanish for "wrestler" - I told him to run around saying he was "El jota Luchador!" - so he ran around screaming it all night jumping on dudes and stuff. He didn't know that it stood for "The Gay Wrestler" - hahahaa! I told him it stood for "The Top Wrestler" - hahaha! I told all my other boys what it really meant, though... so he thought we were just laughing with him all night.... Tonight I'm going to a party dressed as an old school back alley abortion doctor! Complete with a coathanger with impaled fetus. I expect some trouble... but I'm going for insidious and de****able this year.
If you crossed the covers of Car Craft July 63 and Spike Jones in Hi-Fi lp, you would see what I decided to do with my life that far away day in c.1965..... I also blame the companies of Revell,AMT,and Aurora models.... Got so hung up on Lily Munster,Morticia Addams, and Vampirella that I had to marry them... VT...I'll try to scan that cover,unless one of you folks have it handy..... FatHack...dude...ya ain't alone...I got Creepy,Eerie,Vampi,FM etc...from #1 til the early -70's.....
TRUTH...you actually told your friend to go around calling himself... "The LESBIAN Wrestler" What a Pal.....
Johnny, haha - that's right. But that's how we do it out here - you dont know if we are best friends or worst enemies. We're all jack***es. But hey, what are friends for? You gotta know that this was the kid that took out an add for one of my motorcycles in cycle trader - with my name and info, saying $500 or best offer. I got about 2 million calls on that thing... so he needed a little revenge. But, in times of trouble we'd have each others backs 100% - that's all that counts.
<font color="red"> Von Tingler- I had to look again cause I could swear you live in Tennesse. You know,they can bar you from that state for not knowing your Charlie Daniels. </font> The Legend Of Wooly Swamp Charlie Daniels (V-1) If you ever go back into Wooly Swamp son you better not go at night There's things out there in the middle of them woods That'd make a strong man die from fright There's things that crawl and things that fly And things that creep around on the ground And they say the ghost of Lucias Clay gets up and it walks around. CHORUS: But I couldn't believe it, I just had to find out for myself And I couldn't conceive it, I never would listen to nobody else No I couldn't believe it, I just had to find out for myself That there's some things in this world you just can't explain. The old man lived in the Wooly Swamp way back in the gurgling woods And he never did do a lot of harm in the world But he never did do no good People didn't think too much of him They all thought he acted funny The old man didn't care about people anyway All he cared about was his money. He'd stuff it all down in Mason jars and bury it all around But on certain nights if the moon was right He'd dig it up out of the ground. He'd pour it all out on the floor of his shack And run his fingers through it. Old Lucias Clay was a greedy old man And that's all there ever was to it. CHORUS The Crayton boys were white trash they lived over on Parvis Creek They were a real snake and sneaky as a cat And belligerent when they'd speak. One night the oldest brother said ya'll meet in the Wooly Swamp later We'll get old Lucias' money and we'll pitch him to the alligators. They found the old man out in the back with a shovel in his hand And thirteen rusty Mason jars he just dug up out of the sand. And they all went crazy and they beat the old man Then they picked him up off the ground Then they threw him in the swamp and they stood there and laughed Till the black water ****ed him down. Then they turned around and went back to the shack And they picked up the money and ran. But they hadn't gone nowheres when they realized They were running in quicksand. And they struggled and screamed but they couldn't get away Then just before they were gone They could hear that old man laughing In a voice that was loud and strong. Now that's been fifty years ago an' if you go back by there again There's a spot in the yard in back of that shack Where the ground is always wet. And on certain nights if the moon is right And you're down by the dark footpath You can hear three yound men screaming And you can hear that old man laugh. Repeat (V-1)
Favorite Halloween song other than Excitable Boy, The Beat Farmers - Happy Boy I was walkin' down the street on a sunny day Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba A feeling in my bones that I'll have my way Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy) Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy) Oh ain't it good when things are going your way, hey hey? My little dog spot got hit by a car Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba Put his guts in a box and put him in a drawer Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy) Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy) I forgot all about it for a month and a half Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba I looked in the drawer and started to laugh Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba
I just started my annual Halloween Smarties(tm) and Dew binge. I should be tweakin pretty good by the time the little goblins show up.
hey Greezy, If you need a cheap and quick costume take some of those smarties and tape them to your pants. Then you can go out as "Mr Smarty Pants"
Here is a quick Halloween costume for you guys, take a length of thick rope and tie it into a noose, put it around your neck. Then take a T-shirt and write in big letters on it "WELL HUNG" I wore this a couple of years back to a party, and it was a hit...for about $5.00
Better yet.......T shirt with the letter P all over it....blacken your eyes and wear boxing gloves....your a BLACK EYED PEA !!!!!!!!
i havent decided what to be yet. i was going to be TMAN, but i didnt want to drill holes in my hot rod frame. i was going to be SCRIBE, but i don't have any knee pads, plus fibergl*** makes my skin itch. i was going to be LA GRASTA, but i didnt want to put little dog *****' on my valve stems. i was going to be MARCUS, but i couldn't decide which marcus to be. i was going to be SAMIYAM, but i couldnt find a mask with a bald head in time. i was going to be GERM, but i didnt want to end up swinging camshafts all night i was going to be ZOMBIE, but i didnt want to dress in drag. i was going to be MIKELANDWEEDSMOKER, but i dont want to sell my car. i was going to be TV, but my car cant carry long enough burnouts up the street. i thought about being SAVAGE, but i dont think my girlfriend would appreciate me running around all night hitting on boys. i was going to be ZIBO, but i thought all the fuzz would be too much of a mess to clean up. i was going to be JIMA, but nobody would let me borrow a golf cart. i was going to be DONNIE, but i couldnt think of a way to turn my flames into tribal flames. i was going to be ****, but the idea of wearing a mop under my chin all night didnt sound like much fun. i was going to be LUKEPROJECTSELLER but being on ebay all night isnt good for the eyes. i was going to be 286MERC, but i couldnt find an old dump truck with radials to rent in time. i was going to be HOMERESQUE, but i didnt want to walk around on stilts all night. i was going to be MIKE ZENOR, but i cant afford to buy people beer all night. i was going to be GRIMLOCK, but my car doesnt fit in my ba*****t. i was going to be DJANGO, but i didnt want to hold plan 9's hand all night. i was going to be FLESHGORDON, but i couldnt find a white suit. i was going to be **** REYNOLDS, but like i said before, i didnt want to dress in drag. i was going to be SNACKY, but 18 year old girls wont let me pierce them. i was going to be BURNDUP, but i didnt want to detune my car to run in the 19's i think this year i will be RYAN. what i'm gonna do is drive to paso, park at the A&W, lock up my car, lose my keys and start crying till someone walks up and gives them back. happy halloween. hahahahahahaha
draglink those costumes kick *** . my wife and i were gonna do that but as usual i didnt get **** done and i didnt have time to make em. nice job . maybe next year and mine will come out as good as yours did..... ricky, you ****in rule .that is some funny ****...you couldnt go as me because you would have to walk on stilts all night and then you would p*** out from a fear of heights being tall like a grown up. you midget.....hahahaha.......
The Jalopy Journal
