Technical Legend or a Myth Or a Crack Pot. Tell a Story.

The only one i know would be @Drylake in Adelaide, Australia. He picked up the rubish, a upsidedown '32 Ford roadster.

 

Same load of crap he's feeding you.

 

Had a next door neighbor that 'claimed' he'd driven the meat wagon that took James Dean to the hospital. But he also 'claimed' he'd fucked ducks in flight. You be the judge...

 

I got stopped in Motown for going 95 in a 55 (yeah back then) in my Grand Prix. I was about 20-21. Older cop comes up, he litterally asked the old question "Where's the fire youngblood?" As I handed over my paper I said "To be honest it's between my girlfriend's legs and I wanna put it out." He laughed his ass off. "Tell ya what, slow this bitch down and be safe or somebody elses hose gonna put out that fire." "Yes sir., I will, Thank you." True story...

 

Sorry, @VANDENPLAS is NOT my dear ol Dad.

 

December, that blessed time of year when we turn our thoughts and attentions to the famous birth of a boy child, no that one...me, it's my birthday!

62 years ago today gifts of chrome, Hot Wheels and myrrh (I still don't know what that crap is for) found their way to my Portlanhem crib, delivered by three wise-asses that were friends of my brother. They had followed a bright beacon that turned out be the dome light in my dad's '58 rambler, the damn thing later burned out and he never would fix it.

My mother was not a virgin, but my father claimed to be. He would often remind me that there was no way, no way I could have come from his loins! One day while performing a detailing "miracle" on his '68 Country Squire so he would allow me to use it on a date that evening (station wagons and drive-ins...am I right?), he remarked that it was indeed a beautiful job but had I made it go any faster? Well from that day on I dedicated my life to the endless pursuit of the three P's; Performance, Power and Polishing. Reminiscing, it was a great childhood and the only nailing done fortunately was with a cheerleader in the back of the afore mentioned longroof.

All joking aside, I miss you mom and dad! Thanks for making me!

 

Figured that was coming.

 

The myth that won’t die is the carburetor that got 100 GPM and the big oil bought it and smashed it with a sledgehammer! Everyone has heard it….but I had a guy tell me that the guy was his uncle! No shit!






Bones

 

Be a lot funner if I was Lol !!

 

Bruh, careful whatcha wish for...

 

Another true story, and a dipshit one at that. One of my brass car pals was on a tour, his buddy's trailer went off the road and laying sideways almost upside down. Inside was a perfectly restored Stanley Steamer, but tire strapped and not a scratch on it. Rather than upright the trailer with the car in it the genius crew cut all 4 straps and dragged the car out. Somewhere in OH or PA about 7-8 years ago. I'd still be in jail

 

Vandenplas that thing has big and littles on your "Ram Charger"

 

Not strictly car related but an ex-brother-in-law once told me this one. When he was in the navy, he witnessed an officer accidentally trigger a nuke, but BIL was able to defuse it before it went off. He was a fry cook at Popeye's chicken at the time so I'm sure he had the skills.

 

I was at my watering hole , a few years ago, when an old acquaintance came in and we talked! I remembered him as an alright guy. Got to talking cars, specifically FE powered cars, he told me he had a stock 390 FE that would turn the 1/4 in nine seconds!




Bones

 

Great story @Bandit Billy! Happy Birthday!

 

OMG Firing squad. No last meal

 

Back in '65 a bunch of us kids were hanging out at the local A&W, that served as the turnaround point of the long cruise route in McMinnville, Oregon. The older brother to a friend of mine pulled into the parking lot with his date, driving a 64 Corvair Monza. He visited out the driver's window with us with his engine idling. All went well until 3 or 4 of the jokers grabbed his back bumper and lifted the rear wheels off the ground, telling him he wasn't going any where. I was surprised when he put it in reverse, let the clutch out, stepped on the throttle, and said, "put her down boys, when you get tired". A whole lot of apologies came pretty quick, and ended what would have been some serious injuries.

 

Car tricks are great. One poor bastid was a target in the shop next door, and being honest I was a bit of an enabler a time or 2. A few of my faves, we jacked his car up just enough to get the wheel off the ground and not be able to tell by putting a cinder block under the axle (no posi). It was funny because he prided himself on being 1st outta the parking lot every day. Another time he got all blocked in while all the guys were hiding around corners and in the bushes like little kids watching him lose his mind. He went and got the boss, everyone scrambled, boss came out, all gone. Ever see those trick glasses with the big rubber nose? Picture one with a dick instead of a nose. It was on his rear plate for 3 days before he noticed. We were assholes, but he deserved it.

 

Yep, this one and the crazy ass hippo paddle boat, sketchy raft car body rescue truly are legend! Both threads still put a grin on my face!

 

Not sure but I think the stock class FEs are in the 9s if that's what he was talking about.

 

This is a true story....I swear
In 1982 I purchased a clean 61 Coupe De Ville from an elderly gentleman in Indio Ca, Being the desert car that it was it was real clean and rust free but had a sandblasted windshield. I brought it home and parked it in the garage. About a month after I bought it Guillermo my Panamanian gardener was furiously knocking at my door. He explained to me that he was in the garage to borrow my hedge clippers and that when he turned on the light and stood in just the right place he could see an image of the Virgin Mary in the sandblasted Caddy windshield. I laughed it off and thought nothing of it. Guilermo could not contain himself and soon word of his discovery spread throughout the Central/South American immigrant community. Pretty soon I had people knocking at my door at all hours to see the car. I figured what the hell why dont I start charging 10 bucks a head to see the Virgin Mary Cadillac. This got way bigger than I ever imagined and there were people lined up for blocks for a month or so to see the car. All went well and the cash was pouring in until one night when I was closing up shop. I slammed the garage door shut and then I heard a loud crash from inside the garage. DAMM!!! a box had fallen out of the rafters and fallen breaking the windshield of the Caddy. Obviously a message from the heavens. So I took the $182,000.00 that I made and went to Boyds shop and bought brand new pink and turquoise Boydster and then to the Pontiac dealer and bought a new Trans Am with the big chicken decal on the hood. With the money I had left I bought some gold chains and a Rolex. All was well until about six months later I was contacted by the IRS wanting to collect taxes on the $182,000.00 I made. Obviously another message from the heavens. So to avoid jail I sold the Boydster, the Trans Am and the jewelry at a great loss to pay the taxman. What a bitter experience!!!

 

This one of those threads where the first liar doesn't stand a chance?

 

I've heard that "my _______ back home has a car that has so many horsepower that the cops made him take it off the street." thing more than once, usually by some guy from the Ozarks.

My buddy's daughter raced his 62 Corvette in the high school drags in the mid 80's and won every race at the local Track (Renngade) That car ran in the 12's and she was consistant. When she would pull up to the line in that black Corvette with a black helmet on some of the other kids who thought they had a fast car forgot how to drive. She left the line before a few 14 and 16 second cars at times.

 

Whaddya mean myth. My Uncle had a friend in High school who had a 58 t bird that got 75 miles to the gallon. A guy from the oil company gave him 10000 dollars for the car.

 

Happy Birthday...kid!

 

OK, car related.
Back when I was in high school (around 1973) my buddies and I were at our HS football game. The game was about over, and our team was getting stomped (like usual). We left the game about midway through the 4th quarter. As we were walking through the parking lot, one of my buddies saw the little green Opel GT one of his neighbor's daughter drove. It just happened the parking space next to the GT was empty. My buddy got the brilliant idea we should turn the GT sideways in the two parking spaces. Shouldn't be "that" hard, there were 4 of us, but none of us were really big guys. Up to the challenge, we grabbed the back end and had it pulled about 40 degrees but we were loosing steam fast. About that time this another HS guy came over to tell us he would give us a hand. He had a beer bottle in his hand when he got out of the nearby car to let us know he was going to help. He took the beer back to the car he was sitting in, and returned with another guy. The 6 of us got the car turned 90 degrees and were having a great time talking about the reaction that girl was going to have when she saw her car sitting sideways in those two parking spaces. About that time a cop car pulled up right in front of us, we thought we were screwed. The cop wasn't interested in what we did, (though he did wait until we were done) but he sure was interested in the two guys and their beer. The guy that carried the beer to the GT took the heat for all the beer in the car, because he was the only one the cops actually saw with the beer. Of course they arrested him. We felt bad because it was because of what we were doing that got him busted. We took the guy's two buddies home (the beer guy was their ride), then we went down and bailed the guy out of jail and gave him a ride home.

The saddest part of the whole deal was we missed seeing the reaction of the girl when she saw her car sideways in the parking spaces, her friends told us it was priceless. The girls car sideways in the parking spaces made it into the school's yearbook. They had to wait for one of the cars on either side to leave before they could get the car out of the parking spaces.

You guys probably wouldn't want to hear about the dead skunk in the school library's book depository, would you.

 

Similar to @gene-koning 's story, although not a myth.... it's a legend (in my mind anyway). My high school was set back about 200' from a straight-as-a-string, flat country road. It was pretty common for guys to do burnouts coming out of the parking lot and hammer it the entire length of the school. Pretty good distraction for most of us. There was also a bus loading/unloading lane about 20' in front of the building that ran the entire length. One of my classmates had late '50s/early'60s Anglia that often got picked up and high centered on parking dividers, turned sideways, etc. but the best display was when his two older brothers (who could have been NFL linebackers) had him pull up just outside the principal's office window. The two of them picked up the back of the car and had him rev the hell out of it, then dropped it. Best 2 feet of burnout I've ever seen! The principal was a dickhead who tried to make a big deal out of it, but no one could take him seriously... even most parents laughed about it, as it was such good prank, and the brothers were well liked and respected by students and parents alike.

 

Naw, this guy was talking about his box stock OT personal driver that he had probably forty plus years ago. It was actually closer to a 15 second car , on a good day! It wasn’t the first time I have heard of outrageous ET claims! This was just the last one , I can remember! The cars back then were slow compared to cars today.






Bones

 

That was pre Kennedy therefore Lee Harvey Oswald is to blame.

 

I heard a story once, where this hot blond chick responded to an ad for a ‘67 Chevy for $50.00. It turned out to be a ‘67 Corvette…it was said to be so fast , that a passenger couldn’t grab a $100.00 bill off the dash ; when she would punch it. She proceeded to put a sticker on the back, that read “ If you can beat me, you can …