While sitting on the couch last Sunday, watching drag racing on TV, my wife and I were talking about life & death issues. I told her that if I ever got to the point where I was dependent on a machine and fluids from a bottle to stay alive, it wasn't what I wanted. I told her to just pull the plug if it ever got to that point. So she unplugged the TV and poured my beer out! Sometimes it's hell being married to a smart ***.
Hey, like I've told my girlfriend before, don't set yourself up for a wise *** remark and expect me not to deliver one!
...thanksalot there Phil, my wife read that one and said she should pull the plug on my 'puter...and as for the beer...I'm not sayin' that I drink alot, but my liver has its own HMO card!
Wanna be happy? Tell your "other" that 1/3 of all TV shows are just stupid commercials, so if you're watching TV, save all those life's problems solving questions till during the "just for her" commercials!
A lady walks into a shoe store that she frequents often and selects a shoe she would like to try. She always wears short skirts when she is out and sits down to have her foot put into the shoe by the salesman. The salesman can take it no more and says, "I'd like to fill that ***** with ice cream and eat it all out." Indignant, she leaves the store in a huff and goes home to tell her husband. She relates the story and says, "So what are you going to do about it?" The husband replies, "First, you don't need anymore shoes, and second, I'm not going to fight any guy that can eat that much ice cream."
The Jalopy Journal
