Moral dilemma: Changing a loved one's hot rod after they pass

Sorry for your loss.....................
i know it hurts

 

Lots of good advice already given. My condolences to you as well, may you and your family find peace soon.

Let things settle out a while, drive the truck and listen to it. Do what feels right. Me? I'd probably change what makes it more comfortable first.

The truck will tell you what color it wants to be.

 

As others have said, sorry about the loss of your Dad.

My personal advice is to sit on it for at least a few months as is. The tires, seats, and exhaust can be swaped and are no big deal.

As to painting it, I'd do a little research to find the color your dad most likely would have chosen. Dig thru his closet and find his "special" shirts or trinkets that are color spacific that speak to his tastes. What color cars did he buy/drive over the years.

Once you have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 possible choices, let your mom make the final choice... That's how I would do it.

 

Sorry about your loss...and glad you want to honor your Dad's memory.
I don't look at this as a moral dilemma, but rather an emotional one, and once things settle, and they will, you will find your answer.

 

sorry for your loss i would never sell it like you said but i would make it like you want it you have all the good memorys @ love from him and im sure he would still want you to have it the way you would want it my 31 sedan 32@31 projects are going to my grandsons and i want them to enjoy them their way i know they will always rember me when they are in them enjoy your memorys tim

 

minor changes would be the way to go. i'm trying to get my dad to make some changes to his car. i keep telling him i'm going to it someday any way!!

 

Sorry about your loss, I lost my dad 20 years ago and not a day passes without a thought of him.

You know your Dad loved you, I don't know what your status is concerning being married and having kids. But as a father I will be passing on my one car to my son, my Packard is to be sold to be used as income for the family.

As a father, it would only matter that my son cared enough that he choose to think about what he should do with it. As a father, I wouldn't mind him making the changes to the car so that he could enjoy it as much as I did when I was still with him here on earth. I would much rather look down on him driving it with a smile on his face then to see him "respect my memory" by leaving it the way it was and driving it in discomfort and NOT enjoying it as I did.

There will always be plenty of the truck there to remind you of your days and nights building it with Dad. BTW, Dad will never truly leave you, you'll always be carrying him in your heart and you'll find yourself asking him questions when you feel stumped.

 

My Dad's gone but I'll always remember him telling me as a teenager,
"Life is short, so have fun" .......

You could change everything on the PU and will still have the memories.
That's the most important thing and won't ever change.

With that said, if it was mine, I'd make it into what makes me happy.

Take plenty of pictures before changing anything. Save everything you take off.
Then when you're old, you can decide to "restore" it.

You're only the "keeper" of the truck for the present time.
Hopefully, you'll have somebody lined up to become the "keeper" when your time comes.

The last line in your post pretty much sums it up.....
"Dad's truck will still be enjoyed as it was meant to be."

 

My opinion is the same as many others here. First, my sympathies to you in the loss of your father at such a young age. Give yourself some time to grieve your loss, while you do that, drive the truck and enjoy it like it is. It's a nice truck like it is, nothing that needs to be changed for safety or reliability. Down the road, allow yourself to make some changes. My hunch is that you will preserve the essential character of the truck. If your father had lived another ten or twenty years, there is no doubt that he would have made some changes along. So if you change some things like seating to make it more comfortable on a long trip, you're probably not going to be doing anything that he would not have done. It's not like the truck is a restored stocker put back to factory specs in every detail. A hot rod is by definition a work in progress. My 9 year old grandson already refers to my '38 Ford pickup as "my truck." I tell him that it will be his someday. I'm sure he'll change some stuff. As long as he keeps it safe and reliable and has fun with it, I don't care.

 

What a bitchin' little truck!! It looks great just the way it is. But if you must change it, do the right thing and change those things that will make it a better, safer ride. Wheels, exhaust and seating is no problem. The color looks great just as it is.

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. He was actually 2 years younger than I am and that is way to young to pass. I loss my dad when I was 23 (nearly 40 years ago). We built boats together, but never cars. You have not only your memories but something material that you both created. Treat it well and it will always hold a lifetime of memories.

 

I, too, am sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds like he was a great guy. He has planted the seed for you to follow in his footsteps. You know, "as the twig is bent, so goes the tree". Looking at your question from my point of view, I am 61 and have 2 sons, I would want them to enjoy my car as much as I did. Short of putting 26" wheels and neon under the car, I'd let them do as they wish. The best monument that any Dad could have is a son that becomes a good, upright man in his own right. That is what counts to a Dad. Make him proud of you. Live your life as he taught you. The car? It's your car, now. God bless. Fred

 

I think the right thing to do is to keep going with the truck. Sounds like your dad would've. Paint it. Enjoy it. It'll still have all the memories and more...

 

Strikes close to home for me as I'm sure it does for many on here. Having lost a parent you want to preserve the memories you have. I would wait.

Think about it this way.....when you see yourself reflecting on the time shared with that truck would it alter your memories or the sentimental bond by changing things? Granted wheels and tires are no biggie but I personally would limit alterations to "tinkering" if you get my drift. To completion or not you "built" that truck with your dad. Keeping the truck as well as the memories preserved are vital since they can't be re-written.

Some things you can't get back. I've learned this painfully well and I am very sorry for your loss.

 

I lost my Dad 9 years ago and I still miss him. I'm sorry for your loss. What sucks is you only get one of them. But I have to say your Dad had great taste in what a hot rod is. To me that truck is perfect!! I wouldn't touch a thing were it mine. Not just because of your Dad but for the simple fact that the truck is just right. Drive it, love it, make any changes that are necessary and pass it on to your son. But I gotta say it again. That truck is gorgeous!

 

Exactly what I was going to say, drive it for now. The right thing to do will make it's self clear all in good time.

 

Looks to me like your Dad built a fine vehicle I wouldn't change a thing.

Sorry for your loss.

 

Sorry for your loss.
I understand I lost my mom 25 years ago when she had just turned 50.
As for the truck it looks good the way it is.
Take time to morn and I'm sure you will find the right answer within your self when the time is right, JMO.

 

Condolences for your loss.
The only thing you're obliged to do is keep driving that thing. Beyond that you can do anything you want to it...some day you or your kids might change it back to the way your dad had it or maybe they won't, but as long as you keep it in the family the legacy's unbroken.

Cris

 

First, I'm sorry about your lost. I have been blessed that I still have both of my parents and my dad is 81. We are currently building his 34 Ford pickup. I called him and asked his opinion on this, and he said after he was gone it would be mine to do with as I wished, but he also stated that I knew what his likes and dislikes were as far as rods were concerned. Most of the time the apple does not fall far from the tree. I'm sure after a time of healing from the loss of your dad, you will be able to sit back and look at the truck and see what your dad had in mind. But in realitiy you probably already know.

 

I think that your hearts in the right place. I lost my Dad to cancer at 55, 4 years ago. The sting never goes away. But the important thing is that you have the good times to remember. I think everyone here shares the same opinion that the car is the least important factor. The time and memories with your father are what truly matter. Give yourself some time and your heart will tell you what's right. My mother still has my Dad's classic 'vette and I someday hope to have it. But material things will never replace a loved one, and the time you shared together will always be with you.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you all!!!! It never ceases to amaze me how many people here on the HAMB take time out of their day to put thoughts to and respond to questions, especially ones like this.

All of your suggestions are very helpful and very, very appreciated. I have lost quite a few people in my lifetime, but this is the first time that I have been left in charge of dealing with a persons personal items left behind. This seems to have put quite a kink in the mental repair process. The very thoughtful suggestions made here have really helped me put some things in perspective.

My dad was a great guy. I'm am now certain that he would NOT want me to have any anxiety over his truck at all. He would want me to enjoy it as much as he did, even if that means a change here or there (not to worry, I think I have good taste in hot rods too).

For those of you who have suggested taking some time to greive and ponder, that is exactly what I plan to do. I think that in an effort to get all of the other things, that Dad left behind, in order, I somehow unnecessarily linked the truck with some sort of urgency. Not in the sense that changes needed to be made immediatley, but more in an effort to finalize things, even if just in my mind.

You guys are great therapists! And cheap too! Thanks again for the very kind words!

 

Hey Chris, Im sorry to hear about your dads passing. Ive seen him a few times over the years and he always seemed like a super nice fella. Id wait a bit on changing anything, but I bet your dad would understand you changing things up a little.

 

Your dad raised you to be a rodder... Do YOUR thing and make him proud.

 

sorry to hear about you dad bu i think he would want you to be happpy and enjoy it the way you want it since he is not around.

 

I could not have said it better.....I am in the same boat, having lost both parents at an early age and I would give both nuts to have something that I could touch that my dad (and mom) built. Like Hackerbilt says..take your time.....especially with such a cool ride. Sorry for your loss.

 

Ever notice "therapist" and "the rapist" are spelled the same?


keep us posted on your truck as you go, I'd certainly be interested to see what changes, if anything. Its a neat ride!

 

Loogy -
Like everyone else has said , sorry as hell to hear about your dad's passing . It's a tough pill to swallow .

As for the truck , I'm sure your dad wouldn't mind a few tasteful alterations to the truck . He'd certainly understand , and approve . It's the good memories that shouldn't be altered ...

Awesome little truck , BTW !

 

I'm a 60 year old Dad, 61 next month. An unfinished car of mine would NOT be a shrine to me. If I was wanting to finish it, I'd be thrilled to think my kids finished the job I didn't get to take care of. I'd want them to like it, a different paint job or seating arrangement does not make it a different vehicle. You are your Dad's son, so you will by nature know what to do, just like he knew what to do.

Sorry 'bout your Dad, he was a man of good taste.

 

Your loss is felt...I also lost my father. My thinking on that truck is that it is an item you both worked on and spent many an hour learning from him and him learning from you, my belief would be that your Father would still love for you to tinker and learn and change but keep it real. It is something you can keep forever even the memories. $.02

 

man,,anytime someone loses his dad,,it really really hits me,,,not because i have lost mine,,but because i cant even imagine not having my dad around,,,,the really awesome thing is that you have that truck to remeber him by,,i akready know you arenot going to billetize it or anything like that,,,im sure your pops wouldnt mind a rolling stock change tothose 16"s or a seat adjustment,,heck! he was probably thinking of changing the wheels anyways! i'm 100% sure your influance and talking about the HAMB made him think about swithcing up to 16" steelies and firestone bias plys many a time lying in bed at night!

my totally sincere condolinces bro...