NO BRAKES!!! Now what?

Tonight I am driving home in my favorite 63 Biscayne. I came up to a stop sign and was almost stopped when the brake pedal went to the floor.

OH,OH. NO BRAKES!!! Now what? I discovered a blown front brake hose.

Because my cars are all for sale on the lot, I don't carry tools. Just what is in my pocket, which is a Swiss Army Knife.

I could have easily used a lifeline and called a friend, but what fun would that be? The Biscayne has a manual tranny, so it would not have been totally unsafe to drive it and rely on engine compression and the parking brake to stop me. But what fun would that be?

So I took out the trusty Swiss Army Knife and cut the hose in two. I used one of the license plate screws to plug the line. That was easy, now all I need is some brake fluid.

Now if you have ever watched the Aussie films of the natives and their mechanical skills, you know what is next.

Yup, the only brake fluid I could come up with. Good thing I had recently enjoyed my favorite Live Wire and that the single master cylinder doesn't hold that much. So I relieved myself and filled the master at the same time.

Took less than five minutes to fix, didn't have to rely on modern technology and use the cell. phone, proved my self reliance. Drove home and used the brakes with confidence.

Tomorrow, the car gets two new front brake hoses and a complete flush of the system.

Crude but effective.

 

Isn't that a pisser...

 

Cool! I would have gone ahead and filled the radiator too if I was doing it. Ha ha.

 

lol as long as it gets you home!

 

Piss poor brakes, Bob?

 

My good friend took a rock and smashed the metal line closed to get him home. Worked like a charm.

 

Hah! That's classic.

 

I want to know (having just seen Garrison Kieller {sp?}) and heard his hilarious sonnet about pissing (nothing like an English major), how far back from the m/c did you have to stand to fill it?

Cheers,

Brian

 

Man the brakes going out would piss me off that was to easy.

 

I really find it hard to believe that screw stayed in the line. Can't brake pressure hit nearly a thousand pounds??? I'd think it would blow that screw right outta there.

 

If'n it was me I'd just have to unreel enough hose to let it flow right into the m/c.

SAFU

 

that's great! glad you got it home, i would have never thought to piss in the master cylinder. good old american inginuity works every time. if that was me, with my luck, a cop would have pulled up,and gotten me for exposing myself in public. the car towed as evidence, impounded. me in jail. or . . . a busload of nuns would have stopped to help. either way, it wouldnt have been good.

 

Now that is using your head

 

Which one? Or maybe it's both.

 

Did you stay at a holiday inn last night or what? Glad you got it home with no drama.

 

Knew an Auto Shop teacher that always used that to demonstrat hydraulic theory. Are ya sure your not one of his x students?

 

Is your middle name MacGyver? Oh, and I'll never buy a 63 Biscayne from you.

 

glad I ain't the one flushing the lines.......

 

Might want to replace that rear brake hose also. Would hate to see you do that again.

 

i have to agree with modelcitizen,that screw u put in that line would be gonzo first application ,lol funny story though

 

That would have been the perfect time for Officer Friendly to show up.....well, you see the brakes went out, and hydraulics, and........

 

That's pretty damn funny!

 

Innovative! Who needs a tow truck!

 

That's great man ! I had a rear line completely snap in the 28' and had to fly through the light. made sure not to squirt any more fluid out of the single master and then kinked the rear line to get us home on 3.

 

It takes a leak to fix a leak? That's innovative. But I still carry tools and brake fluid and a bunch of other crap in my driver.

 

Likewise with about 400 psi line pressure that screw would want to be awful tight.

Maybe this is a case of aural urine therapy.

 

Few yrs ago i had a Chevrolet Caprice STW as a daily driver.I ran throught the red light and hit the side of bus,because of blown brakeline.I did survive without a scratch,but good friend of mine got a capillary crack to his neck vertebra.Nothing serious,his neck was stiff for next two weeks.But it could been worse,after that i've been more careful with the condition of the brakelines and hoses.

 

Now you have to call your car a PISScayne! Great ingenuity, I'll admit that. I've pissed in radiators before but never a master cylinder, where distance and accuracy both count.

Bob