Customs Non functional add ons

Never been a fan of dummy appletons- what's the point?


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Fake Buick portholes. Remember them ?


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I saw a setup like that last year on a mid-50s Chevy pickup. Well done truck all around, but when I was checking out the stacks I saw the carb hiding underneath. Not only that, but the guy put in a dummy nitrous system with a real nitrous bottle! It was like a punch in the gut and the truck I at first admired, I then scorned.

 

The only problem I have is with Poser's who put Oldsmobile valve covers on SBC's, gear drives and guy's spending time and money to make their 350's look like 283's and the never ending 3 two's with only the center carburetor hooked up. Does anyone think for one minute that someone really cares what kind of engine is in your car? At least a guy with a lighted Swan hood ornament, mirror muff or dingle berries around his windows is not trying to fool someone.

Gary

 

Visors, skirts, additional tail pipe tip so it looks like have dual pipes....

 

Items used by an owner suffering from "tall motor" syndrome*; such as a 4" spacer under the blower which is equiped with 4" spacers under the carbs, which are topped with 4" spacers under a fake bug-catcher.

* An addictive condition requiring the motor to be taller than the roof of a car.

 

Yep, skirts ****...

 

what really ****s are moon tanks mounted up front on street driven cars being used as radiator overflows

 

How about engines that are mounted just a little too high in the frame, ha!

 

An ex-wife?

 

Winky the Cat.
Any respectable roadster needs a REAL cat.

 

What's worse, a fake quick change or guys that don't know that it's fake?

 

WAY...underdriven supercharges with an idiot in the car attempting to make it lope with the gas pedal!

 

Any kind of etched gl*** windows.
'59 Caddy tail lights on 32 Fords.

 

Useless HAMB threads.

 

I like chrome............

 

A..Freakin..men!

 

I actually get a kick out of those. Sure, they're stupid, but they usually end up on a car that was a piece of **** anyway. People are funny and maybe a little sad.

I suppose it can't hurt to take pride in what ya got, even if it ain't much.

 

Lol I like the at***ude!! But in reality that looks great as the boys in early years didn't have the option of disc, the ring that looks like a drum is a nice touch.



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Come on, man. The mirror muff keeps the mirror warm--that is a function.

 

Present wife!


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For as minute there I thought we were going to be talking about wipers that don't turn on or window cranks that don't roll the windows up. I see that "non functional" and "fake" are being used to mean the same thing here, the hell with proper use of the English language.
A bunch of this stuff is personal tastes and that fine. For example: my coolant recovery tank is a vintage br*** fire extinguisher, so it's a fake fire extinguisher that is now a functional tank. (I like br***.) Almost everything "added" is done for looks. Chrome is typically not functional but we like it so we "add" it.
I admit that there are things that are both fake and non functional, and that lines do get crossed, and that we have to sometimes be diligent in protecting the pedigree of the breed. But be honest with the difference between taste and true travesty.

 

These.

 

Weren't most of the spotlights "fake" even in the custom car era?

 

My fog light works.
I use it driving in the early mornings on those Indiana two lanes.
Comes in handy.

 

True Confession: Don't say a word, but I have a non-functional Stewart-Warner curved gl*** mechanical tachometer mounted on my steering column. I even have a dummy cable running to it that's really a piece of vacuum hose.
It doesn't function, but it's still a curved gl*** SW mechanical tach. Am I wrong? I feel so ashamed!

 

Did hear that? My 4 speed shifted only 3 times. Never judge a shifter knob.

 

I confess! As a youngster, I put 390 emblems on the fenders, when I only had a hopped-up 332. When I actually acquired and built the 390, I removed the emblems!

My peeve with non-functional items might offend, so will keep it to myself. Too old to argue. Shucks, I even like to see a mid-50's car with curb feelers!

 

Those worked. I can still hear the echo in my head as they slid along the curb as a child. They kept many a wives from getting yelled at.

 

Hello,
Back in the early days, (50-60's) no one that had a custom car wanted to drill a hole all the way through the windshield post to put in those Appleton spotlights. So, a simple screw-in fake ones were sold to many. Now, that was something like adding on a custom touch to your motor or car. No intention was made other than a certain look, like the show customs that everyone saw in the early mags. Add a fender skirt, low side pipes and Appletons. That was the order of the day. Yes, some people that added the side pipes, did not make them go all of the way under the car so that did look fake. But, they were custom touches for any car in those times.
My dad had a real spotlight installed on his 53 Buick and when we went to the drive-in movies, that spotlight was all mine to use during intermission. I was king of the spotlight chases on the big, blank screen. When we went to Mexico or to the mountains to go camping or fishing, the spot lights had some usefulness. Small dirt roads and blind spots were lit up for safety.

Jnaki
But, the lights could never be used on the streets during a normal day or night. The only ones approved to use them were the police and ambulances.