Rules to live by when workin on your Rod

This is a revival post for one of the best ones ever... Anyone got anymore tips for us?

 

When guiding a rod onto a strange trailer, don't straddle the tongue, stand on it while guiding so when he hits the ramps and the hitch aint latched you don't get hit in the balls. You just do a back flip into the back of the truck onto a pile of scrap parts.

 

When adjusting a door glass frame on a 2 door post be sure and wear heavy leather gloves. Put a block of wood in the jam so it don't latch. Roll the window down and wrap both hands around the top of the window frame and push in towards the car real hard in a bouncing motion. When the block falls out and you slam the door shut on both hands, you'll be glad the door was out of adjustment and with the leather gloves you'll be trapped but not in a lot of pain. Hope someones near by.

 

If you can't fix it with a hammer it's an electrical problem.

Rex

 

Damn Rex, you must be an Electrician. We say that all the time around the IBEW 175.

Never check how you put Quick change gears in... They work either way.

An 8" grinder with a wire wheel... Is NOT dangerous!

If you have a mess in the floor... Gas will clean it right up before welding.

Never brace up the body before chopping the top. Thats for a sissy.

Don't unhook the MSD box before you weld on the frame. Un-necessary!!

A commercial glass cutter will work fine on your windshield.

 

ALWAYS take your eye protection off and turn around when the guy using the cutoff wheel behind you drops it.

When your neighbor comes over to complain, it's considered normal to take the headers off your car and turn up the punk music.

Epoxy works alright for fixing bad gas tanks- but welding works better.

 

never check your hat that was lying on the ground, for the red hot piece of metal you just cut off, just slap it back on your head. The cussin chicken dance is always in, and large red welts on your forhead shaped like the part are cool.

 

Hell, I do all the above naked, works for me. Like Hell I do.....

CRUISER

 

don't forget to use the cutting torch right next to the plastic trash can
safety glasses work just as well on top of your head as they do over your eyes
you only really need to tighten 2 lug nuts
if your not hurt, pissed, and drunk your not doing it right

 

When some damn alley cat keeps climbing in your old shop truck and clawing the upholstery to shreds, and the cat runs to the fence for a getaway, pick up an old valve lifter to throw as hard as possible at the fence to scare it away, and then watch the valve lifter ricochet like a bullet off a pole and shatter your windshield.

 

This should be on every garage wall!!-MIKE

 

Have to agree with not bracing the body for a chop. That shit is for wussies! You're waaaay better at engineering than those goofballs at Fomoco.

 

when ur welding, don't worry about what may be lieing below... it won't catch fire. after u put the rag out side, show the kids what happens to carb cleaner when u spray it in to the fire, all the while telling the kids not to do this, n never tell mom i showed u this.

 

I would like to nominate myself for "H.A.M.B. F/U King" I may not be the best, but I've sure been doing it for a long time and got as much experience in learning the hard way as anyone. All in favor say Aye. Ayes have it........

 

If it breaks make it stronger. If it doesnt break make make it lighter. Old drag racer philosophy.

 

Its diffcult to really get rockers tips on rail type rockers adjusted while the engine isn't running. Try to hold the ratchet and socket on it while its running to make really accurate adjustments.

 

hahahah never heard that but damn thats funny

 

That's funny right there. I don't care who y'are!

 

When purchasing a new electirc angle grinder, always upgrade it right away... take off the gaurd, by one of the 5 inch grinding discs, the 2.5 ones are for pussies, And when the rpm's of grinder blow the disc to shreds just missing your unprotected eye by an inch just shrug it off as a bad blade and grab a new one! It's like Russian roulette, but with less of a chance.... I think it's called Polish Roulette!

 

I don't agree with Mazooma1's method. What you want to do is, if you step on something and you're not sure how valueable it is, track it inside onto the recently replaced carpet and let your wife make that determination.

 

That old rotted 2x4 in the backyard always makes a good platform to jack your car up that extra two inches you need.
When wife (or girlfriend) asks how much it was, it was only $100 at the flea market or a yard sale (vary between the two to avoid detection)
Priming your carb is a great chance to light up that smoke you've been wanting for the past hour.

 

Always trust yer dad when removing the gas tank he tells ya it has to be empty, the car's been sitting for years, and besides, the wire he shoved down the filler neck to check came out dry....

Then you can watch as GALLONS start pouring out on the garage floor and running down the driveway when you disconnect the fuel line.

Filled up two and a half 5 gallon buckets, one coffee can at a time, with old, old gas that way.....

dv

 

That reminds me of when my friend Rich was over at Eric's house. Eric still lived with his parents in an upscale house with an attached garage. Eric put a pan of chain lube on the stove to heat up, then went back to the garage to work on his motorcycle. After a few minutes they heard a crash in the kitchen and looked in to see the ceiling on fire. Rich grabbed everything he could and battled the fire for several minutes until it was finally out. Eric's mom's kitchen was a total loss. Rich looked around for Eric and found him back out in the garage working on his bike. The moral: "Always heat up your chain lube for maximum penetration"

 

Some of these are just too funny. I sent some to my girlfriend so that she realizes Im not the only dumb ass...

Here is mine...when driving a truck with no power steering just go ahead and get that big cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup and put that right between your legs. Drive down the street and turn not realizing that you need to maneuver your legs so that you crush the cup and instantaneously burning your boys down there...as you scream like a girl scout in the woods you have to actually stop the truck in the middle of an intersection. As you sit in traffic with everyone staring at you stoppped in the middle of the street they notice you grabbing your junk, cursing and crying. I gaurantee when people see me from that morning they probably say, "hey thats that wierd bastard that stopped in the middle of an intersection and started slapping his junk in front of everyone"... When I left that spot I actually had to go park and pull my junk out to see if I needed to get some medical attaention...hhahahhaha Them damn things were RED ahhahahaha

 

when you finally tow the new project with an engine home, just spend all your time trying to start it, and when it does start, go drive it around the block, dont worry about the condition of the brakes until you need to stop....

 

Corollary: When your buddy is flat towing you home in the new project, pop the clutch and let it spin over until it lights...and the throttle hangs wide open.

 

when pouring any gas / cleaner / etc down the throat of your carb with the motor running, always get your face REAL CLOSE so you can see whats happening. When inflating old cracked tires, get your ear next to the tire so you can hear if any air is leaking out. If you think you've got a nut cross threaded, get a bigger wrench, if you're able to tighten it, then it must be ok, especially on brake lines. Always test drive your latest fix, barefoot, with no cell phone or wallet when its 110 degrees outside.

 

reminds me of a friend of mine,when pouring gas into the carb always use a ten gallon can and pour it while your buddie is cranking the car, and look really close,then when the gas can is on fire,pick it up and move it. took his eyebrows forever to grow back.

 

"Just a few quick welds" wearing soccer shorts while goin' commando should have no consequences. What are the odds, right? I swear burnt ball fro smells WAY worse than arm hair.

 

And for the girlies out there..... Never, I repeat never, account for the "girls" when jackin' it up and hoppin' on the creeper....