Strange mechanical theories?!?

The angle of the dangle is proportional to the bootie of the cutie.

 

Along with the Smoke Theory I used to teach my electrical/electronic students the "Polarity Theory" stating that if you hook your battery up backwards then the radio will listen, the lights will cast shadows, and the horn will suck. Sometimes you need to inject humor into a learning situation.

 

A 50 something adult male once agued with me that helicopters are much safer than fixed wing planes.

His reasoning was that if a engine failure occured, the falling motion of the helicopter would cause the rotor to spin and create a "gentle, soft landing".


****Update- I have officially apologized and admitted I was wrong to the 50 something adult male. I now firmly believe in autorotation. Thanks H.a.m.b.e.r.'s!********

 

Thats called "auto rotate" and it's a not so gentle soft landing but it beats a nose dive.

 

I have actually survived an "autogyro" helicopter landing. Actually, "survived" is not the right word....nobody even got brusied. It helped that we landed in the mudflats of Anchorage Bay.

As for the argument, I would prefer to be in a helicopter than a fixed wing with little or no glide range and I would prefer to be in the fixed wing if it had a long glide range.

 

Had one of my buddies in high school tell me you could make a 600cfm carb into a 1200cfm by putting bigger jets in it. Also said you add a zero to the end of the jet number to get the size carb it would be

 

In using brass fittings in a cascaded closed-loop water recirculating system, the water was eventually filtered to a level of purity, that it began leaching the zinc out of the fittings. We swapped the fittings out in exchange for either plastic or silicon-bronze. So, hungry water? I suppose, but I think it was simply the most easily corroded material, zinc, being consumed by the worlds best solvent (H20).

 

Looks like I owe someone an apology! I'm not too proud to admit it.

 

How about GM sending out a tech bulletin telling dealers to pour Bon Ami through the carbs to seat the rings on the 265s? Is this Urban Legend?

 

I disagree with your friend on one point, which I am taking out of context. Generally speaking, a helicopter is not safer than a fixed wing. Way too many things to go wrong..plus they are easy targets.

 

The battery thing used to be real , when batteries were made of bakelite. The bakelight was porous and batteries would go dead on concrete, eventually.
Now batteries are made of non porous polymers and can be stored safely on concrete

 

My ol' Dad would blow up if you put a battery on concrete. When asked why, he'd show you the floor of our basement where the batteries for the old light plant sat. The concrete was all crumbly and soft. It wasn't to save the battery!
And then the old Bon Ami bit. I heard it from a WWII vet, flying the Hump they couldn't get new engines so they'd Bon Ami the engines to up the compression to get another few flights out of them. Yeah, right. Why not just drive around on dusty roads with no air cleaner? Same effect, right? Do no end of good to the rings!

 

Yes, being an electronic tech I also know that light bulbs do not burn out, they become full of darkness hence the black spot thats on the ones that no longer work.

 

Okay, I'm on a roll now! Another one that gets me is the "high volume oil pump sucked the pan dry" story. Once the pressure is up to where the relief valve opens, there isn't a drop more oil coming out of the pan than with the small pump. The only time they make any difference is at low RPM before the relief valve opens, or at really high revs where the requirement is more than the stock pump can supply (a very rare situation).

 

I've heard of dealerships using Bon Ami cleanser to help with ring seating. What I don't understand: How Bon Ami used the advertising claim, "Never Scratched" or something similar. With the picture of a baby chick.

Maybe it won't scratch stainless, enamel or porcelain, but it must have done a helluva job on iron cylinders and chrome rings, because I keep hearing these same engine stories.

 

a guy once told me that concrete wont kill a battery but sunlight will, dont leave batterys in the sun he says
by the way i sell a kit that doubles your gas mileage, its just an additional gas tank but a very high teck one that hold more fuel

 

When I was a much younger man and worked in a body shop, a wise gentlemen once said, throw all your tools under the car before you start since thats where they end up anyway. He was also very picky about keeping 'all removed parts' in the car you were working on. This was a production shop so that made sense with so many cars around and to this day, I pretty much put things I remove 'in the car'.

 

You know that smell that burns yer nose of 90wt when draining diffs and transmissions???? It's the decaying dinosaurs.....

 

So it's ok to put a battery on a concrete floor huh? I've been told and believed that all my life. I always wondered how that piece of plywood saved my batteries!

dumb ole' Dan

 

For Adjustable Johnsons, The way heard it was: The angle of the dangle, devided by the heat of the meat, equals the mass of the ass. But yours works too.

I'm a man, but I can change, if I have too, I guess...." The mans prayer ", from THE RED GREEN SHOW.

 

here's some not quite automotive theories I learned in college:

Girls= time * money
Time= money
Therefore
Girls= money * money
Therefore
Girls=money^2
Money= the root of evil
Therefore
Evil=money^2
Hence what guys already know

[FONT=&quot]Girls=evil


another one that is hilarious:
[/FONT]Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."
​

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

 

a54 studebaker do you know why the Brits drink warm beer?

Because they have Lucas refigerators.

 

In 1963 at the Daytona 500 qualifying I watched Smokey Yunick dust a 421 Pontiac down the carbs with Bon Ami at 6000 RPMs, I looked at the tach. He was one of the sharpest around so Id say that knocks the urban legend right in the ass.

 

A high volume pump CAN suck the pan dry. Pressure and volume are 2 different things. You can have a lot of volume without a lot of pressure (a garden hose with no nozzle at the end for example). Also, there's more than one reason for HIGH VOLUME OIL PANS. OK, now ya got ME going. It wouldn't be called a Hi-Volume pump, if it were not capable up pumping HI VOLUME. No mantter how high a volume gets pumped through a motor, it'll only drain back at ONE SPEED. If the Hi-Volume pump, pumps more volume than the rate of drain back to the pan, can you guess the result?

 

Couple of guys I knocked around with when I was a kid did the same to a Y block,mixed "brasso" metal polish with 30# oil and while revving the engine poured it gently into the carb,not so much as to stall it, but it sure smoked while doing it. And that engine ran really strong once it was run in .

 

You all know why the English don't make computers? They haven't figured how to make them leak!

 

Heard this once. Take your battery out of the car/truck, roll it gently on the ground, reinstall. I think the theory was to "suspend" the pieces of flaked off plates back into solution, thereby preventing the shorting out of the plates.

 

ha ha funny but do you know who built the first main frames...? and computor guided missiles...? etc etc
Plenty here for the computor geek ..ha ha ha
http://www.turing.org.uk/turing/

 

I've lived and worked in the OZ bush and a trick i've seen the aboriginals use when faced with a flat battery and an automatic car is to jolt the battery on the ground then place it beside the cooking fire.Not too close or it will melt but hot enough to get the electrolite bubbling slightly. it gives just enough kick to turn over the engine. when you are a hundred miles from anywhere you learn things real fast..

 

Pressure and volume are definitely different but definitely related. I think the high volume pumps came into popularity when you set a motor (crank&rods) up loose which allows a lot of oil to escape past the rods and mains and back into the pan. Therefore the pump had to pump a lot of volume to keep from running the crank dry (keep the pressure up). In this case the volume of oil has to be present to create the pressure. One side effect of this setup is the oil getting trapped in the top end. So we came up with using larger volume pans to "fix" the problem. So it comes down to restriction to determine the volume/pressure relationship. A tight motor (more restriction) will most likely perform the same, oil pressure wise, once you hit the pressure relief setting. The loose motor can run out of oil with the lower volume pump due to oil escaping from the main and rod bearings (which ends up being a lack of pressure... Clear as mud, right?