Stuff you've learned the hard way

Most every thing I have learnt or done.
Lets see I was a self taught homebuilder, now a self taught furnuture maker,was self taught Road Race car fabricator, and now a self taught hot rod fabricator.

 

Most of all... I shoulda listened to my dad. The first 2 times (read ex-wives) I got married I was cautioned on both of them and see where they are now? Been divorced from the second for 5 years and she's still trying to eff me over.

Other than that, get to know the parts store people... makes it easier to return stuff you didn't need or to get them to help you out when you need to find that oddball part.

 

all of the above and dont forget the bud !

 

The mysterious vibration coming from the back of your truck is not the new bed liner you just put in, its the sound of a very loose drive shaft.

 

If the automatic trans you're installing won't sit flush with the block, don't install a couple bolts an try to squeeze em' together.

Run as far away as possible from "barter " deals. Unless your shits gettin' done first. And even then it's dicey.

 

NEVER use a torsion bar with a pipe extension as a pry bar.I could see it coming when the pipe slipped off but could not get put of the way. The ambulance ride was nice though and for once my bloodpressure was low since i was down a QT.

 

WOW!!,I guess mom and dad were right,these things really do happen.Glad to see the little guy is ok.Wont be doing that any time soon.

 

Amen to the trans advice. Seems a couple of drunks shouldnt try to change a trans between beers.I was "helping" a friend,and we ended up towing the car to the trans shop,and paying to get the broken front pump replaced,and the tranny correctly installed.Also dont try to show your buddies how high your engine will rev with a freshly installed tunnel ram,especially after consuming large amounts of beer.I never got it out of the garage before I had to tear it down and replace bent valves.

 

First off...that is one tough kid!

2. Never run with a fork in your hand.
3. Never pre-assemble a chassis or components without grease.
4. Never leave your tools at a 'friends' house when you have to move.
5. Never eat at a Mexican restaurant more than 20 miles from home.

 

Warping sheetmetal!! F&%K!!!!!!!!!!

 

1: Never trust a factory jack

2: Never fart in a buttoned up rain coat

3: Never punch someone in the face while he's wearing a motorcycle helmet

4: Cheap drill bits will bite you

5: If you don't know how to do it and it's a vital system, get help and/or advice

6: Always check the work of the friend who will 'work for beer'

 

Similarly, when jetting Strombergs remember to put the outer plugs back in. If you don't make sure you have a good fire extinguisher handy. Finally the powder in fire extinguishers is corrosive.

 

never buff a car or whatever with ur ipod headphone cord not ran under shirt. i sent my headphones in orbit and my ears and a small sore spot where they got ripped out my ears! lol

never try to tighten uniball bolts on offroad truck suspension on the ground without putting on a jack. SNAP! arm had a huge bruise cuz the truck fell on one side.

 

drunk and or sober.

 

1) The brakeline fittings go on BEFORE the flare.
2) If you cut off a flare to install the forgotten fitting the line will be too short.
3) NAPA closes early on Saturday.
4) When your working on your car in the cold, styrofoam is warm to sit on.
5)When your WELDING on your car in the cold, styrofoam is even WARMER to sit on!

 

and my favorite: "How do I make this old guy sell me his car ?"

 

Paint doesn't always stick to surfaces treated with Ospho, even if it says so on the bottle.

The wood in the bed of a 64 Chevy PU is really all that's holding it on.

There's 2 top dead centers. (my favorite lesson)

Early 40s Chrysler stuff has reverse thread lug nuts on one side.

Thermal underwear is quite flammable!

 

chicks dont actually dig scars
a hot tungsten from a tig welder will go as far as it wants into your hand
havin a bic lighter in your pocket while mig welding is not a smart idea
metal shavings from a lathe when hogging a hole will light your pack of ciggerettes

 

No neutral safety switch is not good. Learned the hard way. Put them on every car now.

 

Don't marry a redhead.

 

Don't spin wheel bearings with compressed air to dry them after cleaning. They come APART and break things, like the window between the shop and waiting room, the mirrors on the alignment rack, and the tubes in the overhead lights. By the way, in 1972 someone told me all about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

1. When laying on your back on the cement shop floor trying to install a THM400 transmission balanced on a floor jack, you are not strong enough to catch the transmission with one hand when it slips off the jack.

2. When your hand is between a cement floor and a falling transmission, it produces sudden intense and unwanted pain.

3. You and your brother are not strong enough to stop a falling 401 nailhead.

 

A shark can still bite you an hour after it has come out of the water.
Fingertips really do regenerate after a mauling by a powertool.
Sweat will carry grinder dust and small bits of metal right past the safety glasses and into your eye.

 

1. Your middle finger is not strong enough to catch a 302 Ford starter falling pointy end first.

2. When your middle finger cushions the impact between a starter an cement it produces sudden intense unwanted pain and an amazing quantity of blood.

3. For a period of time after catching a starter with your middle finger you go around unintentionally flipping everyone off.

4. I don't understand why I can't learn not to catch falling objects.

 

the second one costs more than the first one you just broke

 

No matter how burly you think you are lifting a car off the ground far enough that your brother can slide a jack under it can put you in traction.

 

Make sure you know where your fingers are gonna land if that stuck bolt finaly breaks loose.
The first lesson I can remember as a kid, was starter shims arent just there for the hell of it,put them back in
Also another one was when (I was about 13)I changed the carb on my dads 70 impala and fogot to hook the return spring back up and it stuck wide open........dont panic and try to take the battery cable off.........it wont kill it if its charging.....................just shut the key off
It didnt hurt it, but come to think of it I never did tell Dad about that

 

Rule #27 - do not look directly into carburetors when cranking an engine that has fuel but may be a bit out of time.

Rule #28 - eyebrows take a lot longer to grow back than they do to burn off

re: Chevy V8s....parts for them really are NOT "all the same".

dj

 

NEVER tighten up your brake line fittings with a ring spanner!

Cheers, Glen.

 

If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people...