Stuff you've learned the hard way

1.When changing the oil in the engine don't drain the transmission and then add another 5 quarts to the engine. It really sends up a smoke screen.

2. NEVER use Hydrazine in a Go Kart and then make a test run in the alley.

 

That one thing that your going to change usually turns into a engine/trans rebuild, a section job, and then rust repair that you didnt know was there originally....and at that point you may as well paint it and put the interior in....but why stop there, may as well take it down to the frame and rehab everything....then find more rust damage in the cab mounts and figure new rims and tires will look great too....

I am the king of the snowball effect....

Oh and never sit indian style while welding....the back of my nads are still healing.....funny where molten metal ends up.....though I didnt think it was too funny at the time....wife did when she walked into the bathroom trying to see my injury though....

 

Don't crap in your own nest... or don't do 200ft long burnouts in your work parking lot by the office door if your bossman-people do not like that sort of thing...


Also... one I learned this weekend... if you are installing a new flex plate and torque converter combo, a. either line it up and mark it before you stick the trans and block together, or b, if you take the long route and loosely install the bolts one at the time and turn the crankshaft to see if the four concentric holes will line up...(they only go on one way) make sure that you put the bolts in far enough so they do not go past the edge of the block and get hung up inside the rear of the block on the webbing.

Also yet again... several hours of welding and "looking away" without the proper helmet will land you at the hospital and then in a very dark room for two days and really understanding what Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder had to deal with....

Come to think about it, I usually learn everything the hard way....

 

1 Never drive a Studebaker over 150 in a cross wind.

2. Don't hold a torch close to the garage floor.

3. Never look at a heli arc with out a welding helmet.

4. Never get distracted when backing your roadster off a trailer.

5. Never doubt that your dad was the smartest SOB you'll ever know.

6. Never EVER think you are as smart as he was.

 

Hotrodprimer Wow my nose hurts and I wasn't even in the same state. Glad to see he is better now!

 

Never eat something off the truck at work (construction site) that you cant identify, portacans get hot real quick in Texas.

Never assume that the bolts hole on parts of the same year cars line up, I found out the hard way the seat tracks in my car were indivdualy drilled at the factory.

Never drive you car with no floor pans, toenails dont grow back quickly.

 

Not only will gas melt a styrofoam cup, that is also the recipe for napalm.
If you are using an angle grinder, tuck in your shirt.
You have a 50/50 chance of putting a SBC flywheel on the right way.

 

never accept a check for stuff your selling..if the guy can wite you a check for it..than he should be able to go to the bank, come back and hand you CASH.

 

Don't spill lacquer thinner on your crotch! It has a delayed reaction, then it burns. So I am told.

 

Just like gonorrhea. So I am told.

 

happy wife, happy life!

 

LOL...he'll brag about those scars when he's older.

What I've learned:
1) Do NOT try to swap out a married tranny/transfer case combo by yourself (NP205/SM465 - about 225lbs)
2) If you are stupid enough to ignore the above, make SURE you got enough sleep the night before
3) If you are stupid enough to ignore BOTH 1 and 2 above, do NOT just lay there dozing off with the dang setup dangling above you supported only by nylon rope tied around the steering column and passenger door sidewing support.
4) When you wake up after ignoring 1, 2 and 3 above, do NOT, I repeat do NOT wake up in a panick, sitting up really quick and knocking yourself so hard in the head on the bottom of the tranny that you pass out once again.

I've learned other things the hard way, but this one about tops them all...I was about 12 years younger and obviously an idiot.

 

never put a live chicken in your underwear

 

At almost any rock concert worth going to, there's this large vacant space right in front of the speaker towers. It's not there because no-one else has noticed it, and it is definitely not there just for you to stand in all night.

Cheers, Glen.

 

BOLT ON - Doesn't

Universal fit - won't fit anything

Never leave it loose thinking I'll get back to it later

Never figure that you don't really need a spring compressor on a strut type car if the strut is already out of the car. Apparently you can't just hit the nut with the impact gun and expect everything to be OK. My wrist got tweaked, the spring ended up in the neighbors yard and we never did find the nut from the top of the strut. And oh yeah, beer was involved.

 

That the HAMB is a Traditional Hot Rod board.

 

Never drive with a rabid wolverine in your pants.

 

This mildly-customized 2006 Ducati Sport Classic is being shared to provide a pleasant diversion for those of us whose wounds may still be healing.

Call it inspiration.

 

if a starving skinny cat comes by your shop do not feed it.

 

Don't drive a car with a hole in the floor at night with shorts on and hit a raccoon. If you do make sure you are close to home so you can jump right into the shower.

 

Always wear eye protection when cutting or grinding metal. there is nothing worse than being in the emergency room with a doctor using a small dremel tool to grind out the metal out of your eye ball.

 

Don't think that just cause you're driving home from the Dyno shop where your Hot Rod just made 468 HP at the rear wheels that you can smoke that Big Black Mercedes if it says Brabus on the corner of the trunk. Cuz you can't

 

A broom is the worst possible tool to get a bat out of Your office.

Learned that one about 10 minutes ago.

 

Don't think that just because bicycle forks are made of tapered tubing that you can build a Chopper by cutting off one set of forks and beating them onto the ends of another set of forks and they will hold up to a pot hole in the street on a really steep downhill. Unless of course you want a lifetime of false teeth and jaw problems (even 40 years later)

 

If a starving skinny cat stops by, feed it and give it water. Then call a no-kill shelter.

 

If you are a ten year old kid, your parents are away but they gave you permission to drive the 48 Ford pickup out to the pasture to check the cows and cutting too many cookies produces smoke or steam from under the hood do not assume that it is low on oil. If you do, do not assume that you know the car takes five quarts and this is a truck so it must take twice as much so you add ten. The result is a very unhappy father and an overheated backside.

 

Marriage is a bad idea....

 

1. Do not poke roadkill with a stick.
2. If you just have to, make sure the kill part is right.

 

You guys are lucky. I'm a moron and can pass along a lot of useful knowledge.

1. Don't wear anything with polyester in it (even 1% polyester) when welding.
2. Don't forget that you need to drop the gas tank soon and then top it off.
3. Don't use good rags to soak up gas on the garage floor.
4. Don't wash gas soaked rags in the washing machine. It makes the house smell like turpentine.
5. Don't work on the car with it half way out the garage thinking it will only take a minute. Inevitably, you don't have the right tool/part and you'll have to leave the garage open when you go buy it.
6. Don't stand behind someone who is about to swing a golf club (learned that early in life).
7. Don't use engine degreaser over asphalt.
8. Clean the tranny fluid out of tapped holes in an aluminum case. They'll strip really easy especially after all the stores are closed.

 

when i was in high school, i built a 396 big block and i was using arp rod bolts. well, a friend of mine told me that i had to pre-load the rod bolts . in other words, over torque them to stretch them, loosen them, and then torque them to the right torque setting. no idea where he came up with that, but at 16 years old...it sounded legit to me. i actually did this to one of the arp rod bolts, and guess what...i ended up breaking the bolt. so what was my fix ?? i used the 15 arp rod bolts that i had left, and one stock used chevy rod bolt. no.....that "fix" didn't last very long.

don't ever stand on a porch swing so you can reach the top of a window that you're painting...unless you want to land flat on your back when the swing decides to swing out from under you.(i did this last week)

don't use a tire plug to fix a hole in a slick. i didn't do this but a friend of mine did.
the slick in question literally exploded a 135 mph, took out the passenger side 1/4 panel of his car, and pointed him right into the guardrail....it was ugly.

don't ever try to drain 20 gallons of gas out of a gas tank, using a 5 gallon bucket.

when you drop that big 540" motor into your car, don't assume that the stock driveshaft and u-joints will hold up. same guy that plugged the slick did this...and the car spit the driveshaft out at about 1/2 track. it looked like a pretzel, and the floorboards of his car looked like someone beat it to death with a ball peen hammer.

never use a lawn chair, milk crate or barstool in place of a bolted down seat to take a test drive around your neighborhood.

the term "you get what you pay for" is usually true.

dad really did know what he was talking about when he told you not to try to stop the fan blade with your hands.