I usta get a perverse, sick enjoyment out of "Sitting under my heavy blanket of dispair" once in awhile until I finally saw it was ultra self destructive. I came to the realization I was truly able to change my at***ude...me! All by myself usually and sometimes with the help of a positive thinking friend or 2. I only hang with positive thinking people now and I've backed away slowly from the ganja, pills and alcohol that usta bring on these bouts of depression.....hope you do the same...worked for me. PS, I quit smoking too..that helped some. All those dependencies weighed heavily on my ****, man..... Now, throw off that comfortable blanket and be brave! Come out into the sunny [scary] world and roll around in it with the rest of us.........Be Hack!
If it aint art it must be an integral part of it. there is a Three Stooges marathon today, sometimes watching a buddy get his head pried out of a hole with a crowbar can bring me out of it. Paul
When I feel depressed, I improve something that doesn'tbenifit me, or help someone who I don't care for. It gives a perverse boost to the ego, making one feel somehow superior. Immediatly do something you need to do with a "superior" at***ude. You will succseed. The perverse boost is short lived, so its just a kick in the pants so one must get right to the next thing!! After some succsessful mundane projects, go right back to creative work. Having faith in a superior "one" helps considerably in the depts of depression. I believe in no chemicle aids, 'cept caffine, during the down times. Somehow I think that I missed the point completely here.
Hack.... I thought WE had a TRADEMARK on those kind of sentiments! Seriously, that's exactly how we felt through every single ******* issue of Juxtapoz,a good number of Airbrush Action cover choices,ANY kulture mag being published today that includes artwork, Nason's Roth book,etc etc.... In fact, it was that self-stroking masterpiece that Nason put out that finally made us realize that NO, this business ain't fair...never will be,never gonna be....he who gets his ******** in print first is the winner! Truth doesn't matter.... Thank goodness for pals like Brush,who puts it all back into perspective everytime I get too negative.... A smart-*** SoCal guy we sometimes do work for is fond of reminding me-"Hey man...you chose to be an artist!" We both laugh..I raise the price another 100 bucks,make him wait 2 more months, and move on to the next project.... As an artist,though, I am grateful for some VERY IMPORTANT THINGS: A wife who worships the ground I walk on... A child who LISTENS and LEARNS from her parents,and looks up to us... The opportunity in life to have accomplished a childhood dream... Hopefully enough time to create the things I'm ready to with the time I have left... Hang in there,F.Hack....Your art comes from the soul...I think I speak for lots of folks when I say that the weekly Art shows ain't complete without an original Hack to enjoy.....
it took me a minute to put this together, it's early, give me a break.... Jack n Coke pleeze! remember your new hero? you're no failure. you got personality, and you can express yourself, i wish i could put the words together as well as you can. don't let it get you down for too long, times they are a changin, and everybody is confused, though many can't admit it. you'll find your place. i think that little piece of paper you were looking for, you already have, you don't need someone else to affirm what you got. you hack, are a hands on guy, you sir have what it takes to make it in the 21 century. think broad. in the end you see the path you had planned wasn't the intended path. oh well. really hack, i think writing is your calling. you are literate, you got personality, creativity, throw in your artistic talent....there is a magazine that needs you. and YOU hack, have been a hero to me, you had seemed so undepressable before! nothing ever seemed to get you down. go be one with nature for a while. take a long walk in the woods or something. pick some mushrooms. forget about cars for a while, forget about your little bump in the road called failure, think about the missed oppertunities you would have missed had you "succeeded". think about what really matters to you, and what mark you want to leave on the world, even if noone notices.
Hack...just ONE more? We were talking about guitars...as a musician,you might dig this one.. When I was 16, I lived and breathed Billy Gibbons and Bo Diddley....oh yeah,and Johnny Thunders...I wanted to play so bad, but the older guys only wanted to play stuff like Frampton Comes Alive and Skynyrd.... SO, I found myself a 72 Gibson Flying V,ripped out the soapbars,hotrodded it with 22 pole pickups , a 50 ft cord and formed a garage band.... Typical ZZ TOP meets Ramones meets Trashmen mix....76-77....A truly profound moment came one night in a sleazy bar when we were playing "Ready,Willing,Able" and an older guy came up and sez...I played music with your dad in the 50's, can I sit in? Dude launches into the drum intro to"Keep a Knockin'" (Little Richard...also the intro to Led Zep's Rock and Roll, for all you cl***ic rock listeners ).... It ALL came together....WHY I was doing this, and the fact that nothing else that was going on in the world mattered at the time..... I STILL feel that way when someone sez.." Man! That piece you did was great! I like that you put that thing in the background,etc...When someone GETS IT.... Unless you are just using music to get chicks? That's okay too!
If Failure is your "art", then you've only got it half right...a true artist of failure wouldn't get on the HAMB and tell his world-wide buddies he's got a problem. Failures don't ask for help (and you just did) and they certainly don't go to the extreme you just did to write out the lyrics of a dismal song...Failures do not share...they just slip deeper into their little world of self-pity and ultimately self-destruct...speaking of sef-destructing, go find The (occasional) Friday Nite Read and read that...is that where you're headed? I've read your post several times trying to figure out if you are for real...had it been posted on April one, I'd have p***ed on it entirely knowing it was a joke...and right now I don't believe you are the joker...failures are quitters...I don't read that that's what you're doing...and if, in case, this is really a joke, it's a very sick one. Get out of your house...go down to the children's hospital...see if any of those sick little kids have a depression they can share with you...walk over to the local VA hospital, see how many pa****lic or quadraplegic veterans of foreign wars have a depression they'll be happy to share with you...you think you got it bad, my friend...I'm telling you ain't got ****! Get off your *** and get to work!!! R-
At the risk of sounding morbid, according to Roger, Hack you failed at failure. I must say, of all the Gay *****es I met thru this wonderful medium of the HAMB, I learnt the most from Greg. We pm each other almost everyday, even if it has nothing to do with cars. He's schooled me alot on stuff, and I hope that one day I will be able to repay him. His mood last night was dismal, but by the end of the evening I had him adding smiles to his messages. I hoped it would carry over to the morning. I guess it didn't. Hang in there Greg, and if you need another *** to shake the dirt off your back, I am there. Feel free to call, write, send smoke signals, semaphore, morse code, encrypted messages, whatever. I was an Eagle Scout, I understand them all. An indebted HAMBER pal, Jay
I know a bar owner or two too, they say that the bartending cert. means almost nothing, when interveiwing their first question is "do you have any resturaunt experience?" and "do you consider yourself a people person". these bars you know, go to them and get the job, screw the diploma, work weekdays and help on weekends, start for free if thats what it takes. depression is as natural as the opposite.. whatever that is? Paul
I've got 9 bartenders on staff, not one of them have a bartending school certificate, and if they slop a poorly poured drink in a gl*** in 1.5 seconds just to get it in front of a patron quicker I'll fire their ***. 4 men and 5 women, no kids, no ******... all personality, all service. We can compare notes on failure and depression some other time. In the meantime, snap out of it. Dust yourself off and get back on your horse.
HAY MR-You count on getting your Gay *** Michigan ***** BOOTY -DOWN HERE TO Hamb DRAGS......we gots your Failure..... RIGHT FUKIN' HERE!!!! Hack, you aint livin if you never feel that feelin-Man............we all have em! by the way-You are right-............ We are your FRIENDS.....Kenny
Hack - Why aren't you running a small hot rod repair shop? It's guys like you that the hot rod crowd seeks out when they need some help...
I'll tell you what, pack up and start over in another town. Come on out to Fenix get a bartending job(they are plentiful to say the least)and have some HOT fun. Hell you could go to one of the many trade schools for ****s and giggles(like MMI). If you were a dealer tech you could ALWAYS get a job here, and besides it's cheap to live here to. I don't know just a thought, hell you need a vacation from all that snow and dreriness. -Jesse
I just had a conversation the other day with this old fella about quality of work. He runs a construction company, and was telling me how they have to do things as fast as possible if they're going to have any work. The way he learned the trade, was that you did the best possible work for the customer... now it's all about the absolute lowest bid. I used to be involved in the bodywork trade, but I was too slow to make any money at it... i'd rather work a panel until it was dead level than kick it out the door. I know in the real world you got to make money, but the perfectionist in me sees the quality of your work as the quality of your personality. A few years ago, I reached the bottom of my barrel. I was sick of life, sick of trying to make something of it, sick of being sick of it all. So, I decided I was dead. Sounds stupid, but bare with me... I no longer cared that much about my next job, or being able to have my own place, or what the girl I was interested in thought of me... it didn't matter anymore, because my life was done. Finished. Being "dead", I wasn't tied to all the old **** of my life. So, I started new. Took a chance that the old me wouldn't, went to school, and learned computers, and got work in that. Met a girl that the old me would have let slip by, because it was unconventional... got with her, and we've been together for over 2 years now, no end in sight. The point being hitting the bottom, and really, literially giving up is when I was finally able to live my life. The end is a chance to have a new begining.
Hack...I've had plenty of experience in dealerships. Speed and accuracy is needed, but you can't really compare it to being a bartender. If you want to tend bar, you can practice drink mixing until you can increase your speed without jeopardizing your quality. Every time I work on a car, something different becomes the problem, and I don't think that would be the case in bartending...practice DOES make perfect...and when you are feeling confident, go to the first place you want to work and make them HIRE you...don't leave without landing the job....a big smile, firm handshake, and eye contact are the most important things in a job interview,,,,not the piece of paper you own. If they like you, they will hire you....make em like you and you will OWN em.
Hey Hack! Sorry to hear you're down, and glad to see that you're already back to being positive. Depression is a regular facet of my life that I try very hard not to let rule me. Living alone in the mountains does not help that sometimes. I've been jobless before and can certainly commiserate with what you are going thru in that area. I think you should consider writing in addition to the bartending gig. You write extremely well and speak to the heart of your p***ion, that being hot rods on this forum. I think you may have a future freelancing some stuff for magazines and ezines. Best of luck with the job scene, but don't forget that you're damn good at what you do! Dave
Hack, You eat at McDonalds? No wonder you're depressed. I like what HATCH said a few posts back. Something to the tune of.....practice, get REAL good, and MAKE them hire you. That seems like solid advice to me. But, I don't know your situation well enough to give advice. One thing I can give advice on is this.....NO matter how bad things get, there is always a positive side to it. Maybe thats some gay advice, but I have often thought that if I were homeless and begging on the street, I would take off walking and go to the beach. Sounds stupid, but think about it....How much fun would it be to walk across America and go to the beach? Thats something I can't do right now. No matter what your situation is, you have a unique and special life. There is only one of you. You seem like a cool person to me. Hang in there. Don't allow anyone to beat you down. Like Hatch said PRACTICE, go back and hit um with all you got. I don't think you are a loser.
Jeez, I must be a dumb***, cos I can't work out whether you are taking the piss, waxing lyrical, drunk, or just wailing the eternal cry of the loser: "Why Me??" Mind you, with 4500+ posts to your name you have got to be good at something
Hey Hack. Anytime you wanna head up to Flint, just to hang out, or whatever, you're more than welcome!!! I know that that bad *** machine you're rolling might cost you about $3 to drive up and back, so if that's an issue I can even get ya back when you make it up here! The best way to get a hold of me is at the Tatty shop: (810) 233 9265. I get there about 3:30 and stay til about 10, every day but Sunday or Tuesday. Lemme know if ya need anything!
The Jalopy Journal
