the rules

ok, i got this courtesy of tony(50 fraud) miller a while back...i think you will enjoy it,those of you remember a couple of years ago i posted this, but some may have forgot,& it's for all the influx of newbies. if you feel the need add more, lets hear your opinions.. let the young newbies learn..(hey for you young guys, eisenhower was a u.s. pres.)

in the late years of the twentieth century, it appeared that many of the old ways, set in the time of Eisenhower, were not well remembered. A beief review of these basic rules may help to restore our cultural traditions as we are now in the new millenium.

1. a girlfriend always rides in the middle of the front seat. a girl who is not the drivers girlfriend, but is even halfway cool, will ride in the middle anyway.
in a thunderbird, she can sit on the unless she is tall.

2. the driver may ride with his left elbow on the door sill or his right arm on the seatback, but not both.

3. if three people are in the car, they must all ride in the front seat. if 2 guys & 1 girl, the girl rides in the middle. if 1 guy & 2 girls, there is only one possible arrangement: girls don't drive guys around. (note: in certian seaports, 3 guys in the front seat are known as "sailor love" avoid this)

4. if 2 couples are in the car, the guys sit in diagonally oppisite positions.

5. weather permitting, all windows are rolled down completly.
rear windows wich only roll down part way must be left closed.

6. it is not acceptable to have rear windows down with front windows up.

7.in a convertable with the top down, all windows must be down.
having the rear quater windows up with the top down is inexcuseable.

8. if a car looses a hubcap, the other hubcap on the same side must be removed immediately (best to remove all 4).

9. blackwalls & whitewalls may be mixed on the same car only if the rear tires are larger than the front, but they must be the same side-to-side.

10. a car with fenderskirts may be level or lower in the rear, but never lower in the front(does not apply in california, where skirts became extinct ca. 1954).

11. if a car is driven without bumpers, the brackets must also be removed.

12. if pressed for time, it is more important to wash the car than to take a shower.

13. if really pressed, clean the windows & the whitewalls.

14. if pipes are uncorked,driving at idle & part throttle are ok. full throttle must be used very sparingly unless smoking the tires or actually racing. reving in neutral is discusting.

15. a lumpy idle is always correct. brakes or choke may enhance lumpiness.

16. it is sometimes nessasary to blow the horn, but it is never cool. (thanks tony)

 

How long should my Cuffs be ?

I wouldn't want to break any Rules.

 

rule#1.......... I had to pay $50.00 extra to get the girl (not my girl friend) to sit next to me. I should have known it was a Harbor Blvd. Orange Co. girl.

 

chip,the rules rule bro.
Unkl,cuffs don't count........Shiny

 

LMAO.
Thanks.

 

These rules are great, the rule about the three guys in front is also refered to as "skiing" in these parts.

 

Thats the way I remember it!!!.........OLDBEET

 

He's being nice, in San Diego 3 guys in front is "swabbie love".Also wearing a club jacket of a club you don't belong to will get your**** kicked altho it's O K for your girlfriend to wear your jacket. If you break up she must return the jacket.

 

There IS an exception to rule #6:The rear windows on either or both sides may be rolled up if either the driver or the front seat passenger is throwing up out his respective window while the car is in motion(minimum of 15 mph)to minimize the desecration of the interior.

 

Rule # 932 if anyone throws up out the window wash the car asap. Esp if it has chrome side mldgs. There is a rf door mldg from a 56 Chevy out there somewhere that has a bluish tint after being "coated" for about a week back in the 60s. Also, back in 50 & 60, if you had a "nice" girl in your car & one of your buddies accidentally or intentionally cussed, you kicked him out. I never had that problem as nice girls wouldnt go out with me.

 

Chip, I'm glad you like the rules, but you left off the last one:
16. It is sometimes necessary to blow the horn, but it is never cool.

Unkl Ian: Cuffs were not covered by the rules. They went out of fashion about a month after Bob Pierson appeared on the cover of HRM.

Safariknut: Your window exception makes practical sense, but anybody barfing on the side of the car cost everybody in the car their cool for a couple of months.

 

As I recall the cuffs were 1/2", 5/8" Max. Then they disappeared while Ike was still in office.

 

Mike, you're absolutely correct -- one turn. I took Ian's question to mean the giant cuffs being worn currently.

 

50fraud,
Yea, I caught that. No where else but the HAMB is the mention of cuffs simultaneously a joke and a serious question.

 

I have given more than a few Mustang/Camro.........................Driveing people /****s a rash of***** at a stop light or two for violateing #7. Nobody had to tell me it looked stuped. I whould also ad that you never drive with all the wendows rolled up and the top up. Unless you think its cool to have a puffer fish top.

 

Chip,

Regards rule #2, in the mid fifties I was severely chastized for having my left elbow on the window sill. I was informed that I was to sit so low in the seat I couldn't reach the sill with my elbow, and that an elbow on the sill was VERY un-cool. Ahhh, the rules of life.

 

These rules are international, I might add!
And they have been around at least since the 50´s... Everything mentioned sounds just "right". Here in Sweden "real car guys" still laughs when we see the "the lifestyle wannabe guys" that dont dont understand the rules at all. For example some guys that crusie around with thewindows halfway rolled down and the whitewalls in poor shape, battered and dirty from curbsides. That only shows that they dont know how wide the car is and that they are more used to driving compact grocery getters...