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Things you didn't find

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Beep, Nov 8, 2006.

  1. Some of these remind me of the classic Candid Camera bit from the fifties or sixties: lady with a dead car at a 4 way stop tells people her car quit and she can't get it started. Of course, every red blooded male tries to help and first opens the hood only to find no engine. The puzzlement on their faces when she insists she was driving it and it just quit is priceless. I still love that clip!
     
  2. Ghostrdr
    Joined: Oct 24, 2006
    Posts: 374

    Ghostrdr
    Member
    from Missouri

    I had a "mechanic" tell me I was missing half of my leaf springs in the back of my 1971 chevrolet C20 pickup. I was getting it inspected so thank god this guy was not working on anything. I had to show him how a rear coil spring sytem works with a semi elliptical helper spring. I gues nothing was missing but figured it fit here anyway.
     
  3. When I worked at crappy tire, we once had a really nice duster come in that had a miss. It was a gold with white interior slant six automatic car. This is about 10 years ago.

    The 16 year old who had just bought it was the second owner and had bought it from some old guy. He had tuned it up with his dad and they will couldn't get rid of the miss so they brought it in.

    Since I was driving a 73' Scamp at the time with the mighty leaning tower of power, the mechanics decided that I should look at it since it was too old for them. I checked everything and it actually seemed ok except once cylinder had a really oil soaked plug that looked like it had never fired - no soot, carbon or anything else. Just clean oil.

    Replaced the one plug and verified it was firing and it still had the miss. Pulled the valve cover and nothing looked wrong. There was all new gaskets on the to end, and what looked like a fresh head gasket. The owners dad says to pull the head, and I did it with the intake/exhaust attached. The #5 piston was sideways in the bore and had epoxy to seal the cracks in the bore. I could look past the piston and see the crank down below in spots.

    I pulled the oil pan that had a fresh gasket (real pain on these cars) and saw more epoxy on the bore at the bottom where the broken rod and taken chunks of the block out, and the big end of the rod, with the beam crudely sawed off.

    I showed the father and the kid and they asked the sillyest question ever. "Will this cause any more damage?" I told them no, and the father declared that they will drive it till it blows up then do a V8 swap. So we simply put it back together - he even had us reuse the head gasket! And they drove that Slant 5 out.

    I saw that thing for years still driving around with the unmistakable sound of a slant six with a miss. I wonder if they ever got around to the V8 swap.
     
  4. dorksrock
    Joined: May 25, 2006
    Posts: 416

    dorksrock
    Member

    I'm not supprised by this. i have a 93 Dakota, with the same transfercase (Np231) that had a streched out chain, it wore a hole in the transfer case, and I drove it that way for about two months (I was busy with work, school, and some other things). I then patched it up with jb weld until I had time to put a new case in... tough cases though.
     
  5. Parts48
    Joined: Mar 28, 2008
    Posts: 1,578

    Parts48
    Member
    from Tucson, Az
    1. Hot Rod Veterans

    Worked for a multi-line dealer chain late 80s. The worst was our Chrysler/Plymouth store. We had MANY Voyager vans come in with Voyager on one side..Caravan on the other.
    We used to joke aboub the Fifth Avenue..(a tarted up Volare or such)with the battery in trunk. Usually these were not bolted in place..to give better weight distribution in cornering..as it would flop around on test rides. :)

    I thought we should offer customers a test push..'cause their gonna be pushing in someday..soon..
     
  6. Pir8Darryl
    Joined: Jan 9, 2008
    Posts: 2,487

    Pir8Darryl
    Member

    Good lord! Who digs up these old threads... :rolleyes:

    Years ago I had an old Toyota Van that threw a rod and put a hole in the block.

    After a few weeks of it sitting, I decided to tear into it and see what was salvagable. Droped the pan and removed the chunks of metal [including the piston] and un-bolted what was left of the rod. Secured the bearing back on the crank with a hose clamp. JB welded the block, un-pluged the fuel injector, and un-bolted the rockers from that cylinder.

    The damn thing ran! Infact it ran pretty good other than a bad miss and low power. My Dad LMFAO at me for driving it that way, but about 6 months later he called me from Chatanooga Tn. He and my mom had been driving to Florida and someone had T-boned them. He needed me to bring the tow-dolly so they could get their car home.......... Hmmmm... The only vehicle I had with a receiver hitch that could tow a car was this van with only 3 pistons :eek:

    Yep... Drove it 350 miles from Louisville to Chatanooga, and then towed their car and both of them back to Louisville!!! Going over Monteagle it would only do about 35 mph, and the top speed was only about 65 mph on flat land,,, but it made it and got almost 30 mpg doing it!!!

    The first 100 miles, all my Dad did was bitch at me for bringing the POS 3 cylinder JB-welded block disaster van... The second hundred miles he said nothing, and on the final leg into town he started praising it!

    The next day, he [my Dad] bought the van from me for $150, and he drove it daily for over a year, then he sold it to a guy who wanted it for the tranny and rear-end for his Toyota pick-up truck, but the guy who bought it drove it daily for about a year.

    Still makes me laugh to think about that one! :D
     

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  7. moefuzz
    Joined: Jul 16, 2005
    Posts: 4,951

    moefuzz
    Member

    A couple of my buddies bought a '67 Cryco VIP that had a bad motor.

    So they took it to the only Garage in town up on main street.

    Ben The Mechanic built a strong running 383 and installed a used tranny with it.
    The total bill was around a $1000 bucks which was a lot in 1976.

    When the 2 brothers came to pay off the last of what they owed the shop, they backed the car out of the garage door, pulled up to the pump and put $5 in the tank which was about 10 gallons then.

    Away from the pump and onto the street in front of the shop and Lyle decides to see what the new performance engine will do...

    ...From right in front of the shop and right in front of Ben the mechanic, Lyle stomps it and lays a wack of rubber up the street about a block then does a Uturn and lights er up again this time flying right past the garage at about 75 in second gear when the rear tires locked up solid along with the engine.... All of this right in front of garage and Ben who had built the strong 383 and just collected the last few hundred owing...

    Well they didn't have far to tow it that's for sure, Back into the garage after only making 2 blocks on the built 383.

    It turned out that apparently the price of the nice running 383 somehow didn't include engine oil., Ben had somehow forgotten to add oil after all was said and done.

    it seems Ben didn't really have a mechanics licesnse either.

    Lyle never did get his money back or a new engine. The car sat outside the garage for about a year or so.

    Ben stated that if they hadn't stomped on it and rev'd it to 5+ grand that the engine may have been OK and that they may have had a chance to observe that the oil gauge read zero and that the engine may have started to make some noise as the lifters lost there pressure which would have alerted the guys that something was wrong.

    .
    I bought the car for $80, the engine would run for 45 seconds or so then the bearings would warm up and tighten and everyting would come to a halt.

    The crank was reground and a new set of bearings were installed, the cam bearings and cam were replaced and and the thing ran like a raped ape once it had some Valvoline in it.
    The cylinder walls looked as good as new as the engine hadn't run for more than 2 minutes total - albeit at full throttle all the way.









    .
     
  8. LabRat
    Joined: Jan 10, 2008
    Posts: 1,551

    LabRat
    Member

    I owned a 72 holden six sedan that only ran on 5 due the crown coming away from the skirt pin area of the piston , pulled the rocker cover removed the rockers and pushrods for that pot and drove it for 12 months . It ran perfectly except when you gave it a hard time the skirt would smack the crown .......
     
  9. GlenC
    Joined: Mar 21, 2007
    Posts: 757

    GlenC
    Member

    Working in a gas station back in the 60's, a bloke drives in in his brand new Chrysler Valiant. "Fill 'er up" so we stuck the hose in the tank, pulled the hood and started checking out his shiny new V8 engine. Ten minutes later and the bowser is still pumping full bore and we can smell raw gas.

    We switch off the bowser and open the trunk. The factory's forgotten to install a big chunk of hose between the filler cap and the top of the tank, and there's 12 inches of raw petrol sloshing around in the trunk of the car.

    Cheers, Glen.
     
  10. Drive Em
    Joined: Aug 25, 2006
    Posts: 1,748

    Drive Em
    Member

    I worked at a local Ford dealer in the mid 80's as a helper.

    In comes a fairly new Ford F-350 dually with a 460 engine, the owner says it is missing.

    A couple of the techs figure out that there is a dead cylinder. They proceed to do all the normal diagnostics to with no success.

    They finally pull the intake manifold and find that two of the intake ports were filled solid with cast iron because the intake had not been cast properly. It was machined nicely, but it was perfectly smooth where the ports were supposed to be where the intake meets the head.
     
  11. Ebbsspeed
    Joined: Nov 11, 2005
    Posts: 6,356

    Ebbsspeed
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    So you're sayin' it get's cold in Florida in December?:D
     
  12. Bruce Lancaster
    Joined: Oct 9, 2001
    Posts: 21,681

    Bruce Lancaster
    Member Emeritus

    Saw a case of a missing carb once...
    My favorite junkyard had a Chevy with 400 engine pulled up to the office so a customer could check out the engine, which was a strong runner in a horribly rusted chassis.
    They fired it up...weird moaning roar from under the hood, spastic RPM changes from barely running to toodamnfast...the guy inside kept stomping at the pedal, with no apparent effect. They popped the hood, and the thing was running with no carb on the fuel being dumped all over the top of the manifold by the homeless end of the fuel line...
    While the car was parked there for 10 minutes, someone had removed the carb, purchased it, and left...
     
  13. GreggAz
    Joined: Apr 3, 2001
    Posts: 929

    GreggAz
    Member

    this seems to be getting more common.

    the other morning I walked out of my house and started my car. As I closed my gate behind me, my neighbor started his toyota tacoma. It didnt sound right, and he got out and asked me what I thought. I looked under the truck, and the cat had been cut out over night. It was the fifth one reported in our area in the last two months.
     
  14. Thats funny

    39
     

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