This just may be the dumbest thing I've ever heard said

Hate to admit this one, but my 26 year old daughter (who is otherwise fairly bright, holds a good job, pays her bills on time, not still living at home) can not tell time on an analog clock. She can however read a map going south withour turning it upside down.

 

The dumbing down of America is alive and well. I sure hope you younger guys and gals can live in the land of stupidity for the next 50+ years.
Me? I'll be well out of it, thank God.

 

Not bad compared to a grown man who thinks South is downhill. Direction equals elevation is making things just a little too simple, and YES, this was a true example

 

I'm sorry, did you think you were clicking into a chat room? You'd better go now, I think I hear your bus pulling up outside. You know, the one with the really short wheelbase?

Ditto

 

A got a '30s console radio from an antique shop and restored the cabnet. As an afterthought I pluged it in and turned it on (AM only). After a while of "warm up" and heavy humming the damn thing started to play a Glenn Miller tune! Made the hair on my neck stand up. Local AM station only played big band.

 

Idiocracy has arrived ahead of schedule.

 

Almost word for word what I was going to post. Only thing of concern is this next election. The outcome COULD hasten my demise and I've still got a couple of projects I'd like to see through to complletition..

Frank

 

About the dumbing... Sorry to say this guys, but it's already gone global
There's no way of stopping it. They're multiplying!

 

At a party, this guy had his truck parked with the wheels cut. His girlfriend looked in the cab and asked him why his steering wheel was upside-down. I said to her "Well, you know, they DO rotate." She just looked at me uncomprehending.

 

Fergsters motto..

Old enough to go to the bakery .. old enough to get bread

 

I'm pretty sure they named oranges before they named carrots.


"What should we call this one?"


"It's orange, call them oranges."


"What about this one?"


"Fuck.


Long pointies?"

 

me-"is that a really bright star,or is it a plane?'
her"i think it's a plane"
me"it's not moving,it must be a star"
her" maybe it's on hold"

i married her anyhow.

 

WOWOWOW!! I have not laughed at anything this hard in a lllooonnnggg time! Excellent read! And I am 21 I have to live with people like this in government when I get older! AHHHHHHH!

 

I bought a dual disc clutch for a Dodge cummins a few months ago. It's a great clutch and holds alot of torgue but chatters like hell in reverse with a load on the truck, no slip. I called the company about it and the clown on the phone told me it was because the clutch isn't really set up to run backwards. He was serious. I tried to expain to him the trans is in charge of forward or backward operation, he didn't understand. The owner of the company is a friend of ours, I told him he need to get this guy off the phones.
My wife and I saw a sun set the other day Andshe told me it was gonna be a big full moon tonight. I had to explain to her that's it a sun set. She was afully embarased.

 

Dated a little gal years ago that was kinda clueless. She moved here from out of state an was unfamiliar with the surrondings. We went out to eat one night a couple of towns over. I drove thru one town to get to the other. On the way back I took a short cut and missed the first town. When I got her home she said she didn't see the little town we went thru earlier. I told her she just wasn't paying attention. This went on for months until I just had to show her how she was missing the town. Then we got on the grits grow on trees thing, but thats another story.

 

Brunette, smoking hot body little Puerto Rican chica.....little wild thing, once said something to me one day that just confused the hell out of me.....

Psst, psst.....Hey....I just wanted you to know that I'm going to run the vaccum cleaner and I didn't want to wake you up.

She got a pass on that one.....I still miss her.

She got even with me for farting in bed and fanning with the sheets once. The only woman I have even known to fight back. She was cooking dinner, I was laying down on the couch watching TV when she came RUNNING out of the kitchen giggling and pulling her sweat pants down at the same time exposing the thong. I'm thinking yahoo and then she sits on my chest with my arms trapped by my sides and she farts!!!!!!!!


An old neighbor always said.....

"Hey can I ask you a question?"

My replies varied:
I think you just did
Ok just one and then I'd walk away
Well I guess I can't say no now

 

A young couple in a little red car tailgated me into a Menard's parking lot. The blond girl was driving. As we all walked to the door they passed me arguing obviously about her poor driving. She then informed him that she "didn't have to worry about hitting anything cause my car has that ABS stuff, you know that Automatic Braking System thing". How can you have your head so far up your ass and not have crap on it when you pull it out?

 

I been LMAO at this shi- er, stuff!
Back in '68 I had a new Javelin, and decided after I wound up in the middle of a herd of Black Angus cows at 1:00 in the morning (Damn lucky, I didn't hit a one), that it was time for better headlights. I got a set of (illegal) Wipacs out of JCW which were concave instead of convex, and they did a much better job of putting the light down the road (I worked rotating shifts at the time). I stopped to get gas at a station I didn't normal patronize- this is "back in the day" when nearly every station was full service and you got your oil checked, windows washed, and tire pressure checked. The pump jockey started the gas flowing and started washing, wiping, and checking. He gave a quick swipe on one headlight and realized that someting was different by the time he got to the second one, and gave it a quick check and said" Man, you musta' been goin' really fast to do that!"

 

Sounds like a sweet kid Dad, she just needs an edgecashun in the old ways. Invite them both over for some beer (I've heard you like a few!) and stories, old music and good ol days. Sometimes it would be nice to go back to the old days when we were young and dumb and full of ***. Not as much to worry about then!

 

When people cross the street to see you nowadays they usually want something from you. It's pretty rare that anyone bothers to cross the street to give you something.

 

I just remembered a story about a girlfriend I had back in 2000. During the time leading up to the presidential election, she was surprised to find out that GWB was not the same George Bush who'd been president previously. She told me, "I knew he looked younger but I figured he'd just had plastic surgery." I swear to God.....
She was a brunette too, perhaps blondes have been unfairly maligned.

 

Years back,my friends wife asked her girl-friend if she wanted to take the kids to the mall on a Saturday because they were going to have "Goofy" ( you know, Mickey's friend) there. She then proeeded to say to her,"I'm not sure if it's the real Goofy or someone just dressed up like him!!! And that is a true story. This guys wife could not pour water from a boot if the instructions were on the heel!