What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

im standing by my dad's 73 z28 rs camaro. its white and needs some body work. "kid-crotch-rocket" walks up to me with his girlfriend...tells me i should paint the car gloss black to hide the imperfections...i told his girlfriend too make sure he kept his training wheels on for a couple years yet

 

ONE OWNER.... I sold a 67 camaro in tenn. one spring, that fall I find the same car different guy that I sold it to advertising it as a one owner. You should have seen his face when I told him I sold that one owner in the spring and not to him....

 

<<<<< this car is a 84 honda with a pep boys body kit....

 

back in the mid 70's I had a 70 nova with a .030 350 4speed just a cool street car I was 18.
I worked with a guy who knocked my car all the time talked so much crap about his 74 charger with a 440 that it had such big pistons and the compression was so high he had to mix diesel fuel with racing fuel just to run it,,, so I asked him to get it bring it to work and race me? he said only if I had $3500.00 that's what the local tracks paid him to run it there!
he claimed he race every sunday at all different track's but I never seen him at any track's.
nobody I worked with or myself ever seen his charger,but one friday he said he was racing in Ohio on sunday.
well on sunday I went to a fleamarket with my father looking for tool's ,while walking around we seen him selling old household items and used tires.
my dad went up to him and asked him in front of his wife "say don't you race a charger" his wife said if we had the money to afford a charger let alone race it we wouldn't be here selling this crap! then my dad said I know you! you work at goodyear tire with my son he's over there you want to say hi to him? he just walked away.
I never heard another word about my car or story about his charger.
he quit a month later>>

 

Lyin Larry about his lifted 85 GMC 4x4: "Yeah it's got Summer Bros. axles and spools in the front and rear."

Me: "Oh yeah? Cool. How does it drive?"

Larry: "It drives awesome! It lights up all four and turns like a Corvette...."

 

So,a chef at my work has a little SRT-4(OT,I know) with a little build to it,and asks me if I wanna go for a ride and see what it pulls.I agree,and somewhere during the short trip he pulls the "$50 on the dashboard at launch" line.So I take him up on it,and came out of it with $50.

I have been to many numerous car shows,not just hot rods,and one of the most annoying things I hears is the kid with a front wheel drive car talk about how he drifted his car last weekend.I have to explain the physics of drifting,and even then,some will still argue.

Also tired of the million dollar man that seems to be at every show claiming he built his car even though you know the people that did the work on it.

 

That means that not only do you have a homo neighbor, but your homo neighbor has a homo for a neighbor. You two really need to form a "special" community.

 

Quote:
<table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0"> <tbody><tr> <td class="alt2" style="border: 1px inset ;"> Originally Posted by scotty t
the homo next door swears he has a 70's pontiac hearse with a factory v12 with 3 4brls
</td> </tr> </tbody></table>
That means that not only do you have a homo neighbor, but your homo neighbor has a homo for a neighbor. You two really need to form a "special" community.

Homo sapiens is a good community group. You might try working toward joining that one.

 

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by Devin
ran when parked
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
At which point I always ask "Then why did you park it?"


Ahh must try that next time............every second dick tells me that story, was thinkin I had a "L" on my forehead.

Can u help with a response to: "All original, low miles, numbers matching, FRAME-OFF RESTORATION".
,,,,,,,,,,,,,so,,,,,,,,,like,,,,,,,,,why'd u restore it????????????

 

Got another one just yesterday. Calling about an intake manifold gasket for my '50 Ford flathead, the parts store guy was real helpful, talked about loving "those old motors", "he was a member of car club blah blah blah", "some of they guys in his club have flatheads in their cars"... yadda, yadda, yadda... I told him that was odd, 'cause I've rarely seen any other flathead in the area, then it happened...

"you've got to be careful with those old engines, you can't run them everyday"

WHAT? how the hell did people drive 60+ years ago... did they not have to drive everyday? If they did, did they have to have two cars...

 

my '32 chev used to be heavy gold metal flake with brown metalic fenders---i had a woman ask me if it was candy apple RED !! and a guy told me he liked my '57 chev !! yes, they walk among us....

 

and it runs 12s

 

a guy telling my mate that he built the 3w coupe we were looking at and did he want to buy it,,my mate had built and sold it 2 yrs before and everyone one at the show knew that too,but he kept on bragging,,,

 

I worked with this guy who claimed to be the world's best at head porting. When I asked him if he was so good at it why did he worked at the shitty job we had at the time. He would boast that he only did porting for "friends" and doesn't charge.

He claimed he did a 383 for his "friend" that put out close to 800 HP without any real crazy build or spray or a blower. Just the great flowing heads that he did for him.

He claimed it would pull the front wheels clear off the ground and run happy with 87 octane.

Now all this BS has gotten me pissed and I did all I could to avoid talking to the guy.

I was on my lunch break and I get a call from him. He needed a recommendation for a good repair shop because the water pump in his early '90's Camaro took a dump and he couldn't fix it.

I thought he was joking since, if you recall, he was the world's best head porter. The silence on the other end of the phone told me all that I needed to know.

What a tool this guy was!

 

Found this on here in another post. Describing his "flying" 59 Bel-Air

"One thing about these old big finned bel air's though. They will pick up off of the ground at 90mph+ I shit you not, the only time this car was running worth a flip I pushed it up to 90 and the rear end picked up and set down in the other lane, I thought I was dead... Hence my reluctance to put a 350 or something like that in it."
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A stupidvisor claims he would cut Smokey Yunek's grass and when he turned sixteen Smokey built him a buick and he had to swear not to show anybody the engine. Here is one to make you laugh, a guy doing a brake job asked for the "bestus brakes dat Rays makes" at a parts counter. My classic absurd claim is; I had a 65 Nova SS for sale at Carlisle years ago, this huge Haystacks Calhoun looking guy comes up and swears he's gonna buy it and build a gasser, every time I tried to explain the car he interrupted and said "I'm gonna build a gasser", this went on for about 20 minutes, "I'm gonna build a gasser, I'm gonna build a gasser"...... The vendor across from me hollered, "last call, free sausage over here", Haystacks took off for the sausage, I said, "Hey, what about the gasser? There was no reply as he already inhaled two and was working on the third. I looked around and all my friends were rolling on the ground with laughter, to this day I get messages from them about "building a gassser".

 

I frequent a C10 forum - the REALLY common CL/Ebay listing is the "rare corvette option" engine, interior, style, etc.

 

Local parts guy was braggin about putting a 6 speed in his 5.0 mustang, said it really tripped people out at the dragstrip when he shifted 6 times.

 

Years back at a Q#### show, myself a my friend gave out a award " most use of bondo" this guy with a pretty modified 55 chevy was tellin every he was a shoe in for the award cause of the massive amout of mods to the body and it was differant real 50s, well awards time came he came up stage let him talk himself right out of the award said the whole car was done in lead must a weighed a ton well needless to say he did no get it the award was MOST USE OF BONDO oh well

 

I liked the guy that said when he broke the drag car, he decided to run the truck he towed with, even though it was a 46 Chevy with a blown SBC 400, I still think he ran a 14.60 at 94 MPH instead of a 9.40 at 146 MPH.

 

Last year at SEMA, a self-proclaimed Mopar expert spied my engine for the very short time the hood was up (some Mother's Polish deal was filming something,and SEMA guys asked me to play along). He commented on the fact that it did not appear to be a 383 Mopar,but rather a 340. I did not have the heart to call him out over the fact he was staring at a Chevy. Not in front of everyone else.Quietly put the hood back down, and shook my head in agreement.....

Also, same show, overheard one guy tell his buddy he used to have one "exactly like that" as he points to the Dart. Funny. If you had a nickel- - -

 

one dude kept tellin me how fast his truck was, he kept saying this a runnin MOFO! IT MOVES!!! fuel injected 350 1/2 ton long box.
one night i finally said ok lets line these trucks up. (i was driving my 454 powered short box - mine has good power & pulls hard but really nothing special but will keep the tires spinnin all the way into high gear. th400 trans.)
we ran 4-5 times & i blew his doors from a stopped position, rollin at 30, i let him jump out a couple of times it was no fun i just melted my tires & still ran away from him everytime. later he said man his truck was ALOT faster yesterday!?

i said its probably real fast "when im not around!!"

 

i love it when ricers come up to me, and tell me the block in my old honda is made of aluminum, gee i'll sell you this magic magnet that sticks to aluminum lol. they usually shut up after i tell them it was built before they were born, most of them also don't believe they were making cars in 63. I also like to screw with them, i hear them bragging about how much downforce the park bench they stole from the city park thats bolted to their trunk makes. try to explain how a flat chunk of aluminum has no aerodynamic properties other then drag,and it goes into the bla bla bla my car does the 1/4 mile in 10 seconds with a stock engine and an automatic transmission. whatever,go away please. gee thats cool,why don't you demonstate how you can stick your entire head in your exaust tip, and why does it have a one inch pipe going in the othe end.

 

There's nothing funnier than a gearhead woman putting a know it all show off in his place.

You're so hot... Oh $@#!, did I say that out loud?

 

not really a hamb friendly....but here goes. was into a little 1/8 mile drag racing while in highschool and college in north mississippi. had a guy trying to race us for a little money (cant remember the amount, but prolly round 100 or 2 maybe.) he had a 1st gen eclipse. told us that he just got a new REAREND for it and could run in the 7s. knowing that he was full of shit we all agreed that we should race him. not that it is important but we had a box style s10(ext cab) with a worn out 305 and tranny out of a camaro. we put the money in, line up, (by this time we have heard the turbo/who knows what else in this car) so the lights turn green and collin(our driver) runs the track....at this time the eclipse loses control and scrapes the guard rail for seemed to be the whole length of the track...guy makes it back to the pit area(gravel parking lot) and jumps out all nervous and really scared for some reason....turns out his brother shows up about an hour later and almost kills him for stealing his car(was physically beaten). the car actually would run in the 7s...lucky for us there was an idiot behind the wheel.

 

Most absurd ? When a chopped custom has no stainless around the windows and the owner considers the car " finished" . When the owner thinks his car is show ready and he didnt even bother to clean his whitewalls (did you not brush your teeth either?) When a car is decked out with pbr accesories and he considers it traditional. That just might scratch the surface on that question.

 

I'm assuming you're speaking of the windshield and back lite. In which case it would depend on the car and year as to whether or not it came with stainless around the windows. If you're speaking of the side windows then it would of course have to be a hard-top not a cpe or sedan.
That's a nice looking Merc you have there. Here's a pic of someone you should recognize

 

that the motor had so much hp it broke the motor mounts and the whole motor just started spinning around

 

The sultan of chop himself,cool pic and very nice car. I meant the stainless around the winshield mostly(so many people just put rubber around it and call it done. Or eliminate the stainless on the side windows(mainly on a 49-51 merc.) To me if the car had it from the factory(stainless) it should be put back on after the car is sliced. Thanks for the compliment on the merc.

 

I couldn't agree more on your wanting the stainless when it was there originally. Thank you for the compliment. I felt it was a huge compliment when Dick asked for a pic of the car for himself. So I took one with and one without him in it and sent him both later. That pic was the fall of 05