What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

I once told a cop that the blue nitrous bottle mounted in my trunk was part of a sophisticated fire suppression system. He gave me a big attaboy for being so safety conscious.

 

In high school a guy said that his brother's car had dual quads and tri-power. Does that count?

 

Oddly enough, Mazda and Nissan have developed variable displacement crankshafts, similar to how newer variable came phasing functions. No where near production ready but interesting reality that has come from what was once only humorous fiction.

I use to get a ton of 'experts' with my Nissan 240sx.

"These things handle really well for being FWD."

"My friend has one and it beats Mustangs stock!"

My RX-7 was never short of laughs either.

"How many cylinders is it?"

"Where do you get the special fuel that I heard these rotaries require to run?"

"I have one of the older ones, they are really fast once you port the heads."

I even remember in my youth the funny things I'd hear on occasion, related or otherwise..

"it has a NASCAR engine in it." (My brother talking about his 63' Chevy with a SBC. To be fair it was fairly worked over and rather quick, but looking back on it, that particular statement still makes me laugh.)

It is astonishing the proliferation of misinformation in all avenues. I've even fallen victim to it in my day... it is a good lesson though. One that teaches you to take care and consideration in your own words.

 

tell them it's for a kneuter valve to control the blinker fluid!

 

i heard a kid tell his mom a 32 ford was a 1972 ford lol o and i had this guy that started talking to my wife and told her he use to have a buick impala he said it was rare he hasent seen it no were lol couldent stop laughing

 

I had a guy last year at the Del Mar Goodguys tell me all about my Chevy and how he knows the guy who built it, and that is been in Magazines! And how they did the tail lights and headlights....So after I finished my Hotdog I walked over and popped the trunk and grabbed a Coke! You should have seen his face...

 

I always hear about them hemi & dual quad police cars back in the day. Those cars go do 150mph flat out...

Most times people think that the SB engine in my 47 is original, they swear Chevy made them.

 

That Plowboy doesn't like spooning.

 

I used to work with this old machinist who was a Dodge man all the way. He said he was in Ft Worth one time with some guys needin to get this heavy trailer home. They hooked on to it with a Ford with a 460 and then a Chevy with a 454. Niether truck could untrack it. He hooked on to it with his old Dodge 318, and "pulled her all the way home. Got 18 mpg doin it to boot."
He also talked about when Chevrolet came out with the 409 "they were so proud of." His plymouth with a slant six blew the doors off of everyone in town. It was so hard not to bust out laughing in his face when he'd start in on that crap.

 

What about Pontiac Big Block!?

 

seems like every car at the local car shows all run "low 12's high 11's"
they all must have the same engine builder

 

The GF's family came over for christmas...
Her Aunts BF see's this engine on my run stand and says...
"427 BIG BLOCK... thats what I'm talking about...."

 

Not to defend an obvious B.S.'er...but:
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Not just a Thunderbird motor but a 312" Thunderbird Motor, even if it is out of a '54 Mainline or a Effie... And especially if it is For Sale on EBay.

I get that all the time... Is that thar a 312 in your '55 Ranchwagon, I had one just like it, bought it new. (Actually my '55 Ranchwagon does have a very stout '57 312"). I just tell them "No just a 272".

 

I've lost count of how many times I've heard that one.

 

I was filling up a customer car the other day, and checking the oil, and finally got the "Zats a Corvette motor!" declaration. Funny, it seems that about 15 of every 10 Corvette motors ever made are alive and well today, and living in hot rods.

 

i like it when people tell me that air bags are NOT traditional

 

YA gotta be careful though sometimes the guys are telling the truth. We tend to think just cause we know them or maybe they are not part of our crowd that they are shooting it. Sometimes they are not. That is the funny thing about the truth. It is not decided by a vote. It is just true or it isnt. Period. Doesnt make a bit of difference who does or does not believe it. I have made a few blunders the other way in my youth. On a few occasions I discovered later that my negative idea about the a story was wrong. It was actually true. Hot rodders tend to be jealous of others success. Just be careful.

 

What a great thread,bull shit stories about bull shit stories.And then there's the running fight about the USA and France as comic relief,you guys are so fucking funny

 

Bored Out. They like to say that. They don't know what it means, except it sounds cool.

"I had it bored out."
'Oh, how much?'
"Huh?"
'How much was it bored out?'
"All the way!"
or
"Bored out to four hundred horsepower!"

 

I like the line "I built it myself so that I would know that it was done right" - knowing good and well the guy can't even scratch his ass without messing something up!!

 

must have been in the 100 yard dash - Jaxx

 

My highschool welding teacher was a Ford "guy" through and through.

He had a '69 Mustang Coupe with "factory frame connecters" cause it was so badass or something. His '98 Mustang Cobra had them too. His Ford Ranger had 500,000 original miles cause it was such a good truck and all.

He believed in all metal repairs mind you, because he was a welder. He once insulted my girlfriend who was talking about blocksanding filler that "bondo was the easy way out, and for lazy people, and he only used metal" However, his Ranger's entire rocker and cab corners were a big globby mess of cracking bondo. He had to get the Automotive teacher, whom is not certified and never had a welding job, to weld his 1/4's on his mustang. As he kept blowing holes and warping the metal.

His desktop background was his '69 Mustang taking off from the tree at the nearest drag strip, but whenever anyone asked him what it ran he said he'd never had it down the strip. His stock '98 Cobra with a single in dual out flowmaster ran low 12's though, and he even missed a gear he claimed. I think that with professional drivers, these cars run in the 13's stock.

His brother had a '91 S-10 blazer on a K5 blazer frame. But when he started borrowing it to drive to school and show off, it had a "custom frame" with "custom axles" I guess it had a "custom motor" too. Custom right from the Chevy plant.

I can't even remember all the bullshit this guy spouted out. It was pointless to argue with him. I can never look at Ford the same way again.

 

My father owned a very nice 1938 Chevrolet streetrod that he had bought. The car was completely done when he got it.One day at car show I over heard him telling someone "YEP I got alot of hot coffee and cold suppers in that one!!" I almost burst out laughing right there!. I stilll give him a hard time about that one!.
Mel

 

On many different occasions when I'd drive My 54 Merc Monterey Hardtop,slammed with Frenched headlights and taillights, opened hood scoop and 55 pontiac trim, I've heard:

I had one just like that 'cept it was Green and had 4 doors !

I see You used the cheap taillights, the top of the line had Chrome trim around em...

Are sure this was a Monterey, they had more Chrome on em !

I think Your suspension is broken !

You'll never be able to change a tire on the back of that thing! (He was almost right!)

How do You get in the doors?


Oh well !

 

Has a guy in high school claimed his dads ford ranger was a V6 that his dad BOLTED ON two more cylinders to make it a 302!!!

 

Thats so great..lmao
Need to patent that kit would be a millionare

 

yea he was full of stories like that, and that was about 10 years ago I hear he ahsnt changed any!!

 

I know this guy claims to be building a 600hp 413 thats really only going to make 550... oh wait thats me.. Shhh don't tell anyone. anyone got a spare 50hp lying arround i could borrow for races and such?

 

I think we've all heard this one.

A guy telling me that his friends car is so fast that if he downshifts to second gear and steps on the gas at 50 mph on the fwy it will burnout. Usually makes me walk away.