What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

that is awsome. i like the folks like that. sittin' swapping stories, and learning. i am still young, only fifteen, but i have a long history with cars.

 

FINALLY, a decent one happened to me this weekend. at an "inside a mall" car show. Lot of people that don't normally go to a car show. I'm standing in front of this car, guy brings his girl up and tells her, "look honey, it's a Hemi Cuda". I'm looking around for this Cuda, and I realize he's pointing right at the lime green 340 Duster I'm standing by. The hood is up on the car, big 340 decals on the rear....

The whole time it's going on, I'm thinking, "Finally, a good story for that thread on the HAMB..."

I'm looking over this car a dude built for the salt flats. Guy comes up to the back, points at the parachutes and tells his buddy, "Those are the rockets". his buddy, all impressed, says, "DAAAAMMmmmmmnnnnnn"...

 

Local guy back when i was in high school came into the gas station I was working in and one of the guys asked him how his 55 chevrolet was running .Here it comes,,,,,,,,He had a 283cu in sb in it with a cam and 6-2s on it and he had trouble getting it over 110 in high gear because,,,,,,,,here it comes when he floor boards the gas pedal the air being sucked in thru the carbs sucks the hood down and chokes the engine out of air... Right. LMAO

 

most absurd thing i ever heard (out of my own mouthback in 1970) my 327 can rev 7000!!! (maybe once...) btw the 327 was in my '51 merc.

 

some of the bullshit is so absurd---don't they recognize that??? guess not---you are real polite.

 

agree.

 

someone once told me of an elcamino he use to own. pro-street ran 9 seceonds. here's the funny part. rear end tubbed with 33 in wide tires and there was only about 12 inchs inbetween the two. I went to public school and I know my math is not all that good. 33+33=66+12=72 ok 72 inchs total. what elcamino had a 6 foot bed? and do they even made a tire that wide? man was he pissed when I asked do you mean 33in tall not wide. he inssited then told me of a 66 mustang with the same tires. I should have went to looked at it.

 

When Big Daddy fired up Swamp Rat at Billetproof FL last year, the guy standing next to me told his buddy "That's a stock engine."

 

There is no bondo in this car! ( you are looking at either a car you can surf on or visible cracks showing bondo)

 

I used to work with a guy that had a "factory fuel injected 69 Z28" and a 57 Chevy with a "L88 350" Usually don't waste my breath arguing, its like talking religion or politics, fruitless.
John

 

One of my neighbors comes over to my shop today to use my compressor to pump up the tires on his boat trailer. He has this buddy with him, who sees what I've got and gets real interested in some of my stuff. One thing he really liked was a 331 hemi out of a '56 dump truck I bought because the price was right. This guy was really taken by that engine, and starts telling me about the '70 Challenger with a hemi that he bought new when he was 17. So after listening to all of his stories about how he rebuilt it and brought the HP up to 1300, he lovingly stroked the "power Giant" valve covers, he says to me. "Ya gotta love these 426's"

The world's full of them.

 

"My crx with a k20 runs high nines at 149 in the quarter, with only a 100 shot of nos"

 

My crx with a k20 runs high nines at 149 in the quarter, with only a 100 shot of nos"






What?

 

Friend of mine told me a story that was told to him by his boss. He said that when his boss was younger, he was working at a body shop, and had a huge hole to fill in a fender by lunchtime. So the fella is sittin there eating his sandwich, lookin at this gaping hole, shoves his sandwich in the hole, bondos over it, and sends it to paint!

Ah the glory days!

 

Ummm.. 33+33+12=78... but I get your point!

 

He was using the "new math".

 

I can contribute. In this story I'm the bullshitter. I was a Senior in high school. I was giving a freshman kid a ride home in my bone stock '82 Delta 88 when I told him I had "NOS". I put a red button on the dash for fun, and when I would push the button, I'd go from 1st to 2nd. It had a worn out 307 in it, but it would go in 2nd. So I pushed the button and floored it and the kid just tripped. I explained how the "NOS" worked, and he fell for it!

 

Diesel is just for tractors and other slow moving vehicles ...

 

Cruise night at the local drive-in. A white Lamborghini Countach pulls up. Despite over 100 decent cars to look at, a huge crowd gathers around the Lambo. Guy gets out and starts crowing about how great it is, that Italian suspension and it's handling blah, blah, blah.

I said "It's a kit car."

Guy turns red- points to the emblem on the front bumper and says "See that! That's a real Lamborghini emblem! The company refuses to allow those to be put on the Kit cars! It's real!"

I pointed to the dashboard: "See that? That's a Fiero interior." and turned around and walked back to the good cars. I heard a lot of chuckling behind me as I walked away.

 

is it street legal.......
can you drive it.......



after they watched me pull up to the show

 

In the mid 80's I had a '64 Nova with a 327 and a Pete Jackson gear drive. An older guy comes up to me and says "My buddy used to run a timing chaim on the outside of his gear drive to quiet it down, worked great".
I later sold the car to a buddy who then sold it to some local kid (possibly the son of the guy I mentioned earlier)?! The kid told everyone that he was going to put a tunnel ram with a blower on the car, and when it was done he had a guy that was going to sponsor him in Pro Stock. The car ran a best of 11.81 when I had it. This moron couldnt get it out of the 14's

 

Ok, so I have a buddy whose boss needed a favor. He needed his "Cherry GM" moved from his house to a storage facility because they were doing work on his garage. I offered to do it.

I get to the house, and the "Cherry GM" is a 1997 GM EV1. Yes, the POS electric that GM tried to hawk to idiots in the mid to late 90's. Thank god I had a hat and sunglasses to hide my shame when I got behind the wheel.

My buddy's boss gives me the 'once over' on the car, making a special point to point out a red button on the dash. Told me not to mess with it, as it was a special 'factory installed' power surge button... "Basically the Electric car version of NOS. Makes this thing go like a scalded cat"

I couldn't contain myself and started laughing right there. I explained that I wasn't a moron like the 16 year olds that he hires and underpays, and that the only way to make an EV1 'go like a scalded cat' would be to boil a cat, throw it in the passenger seat, and push the car out of an airplane at 30,000 feet.

 

So it was my turn to mess with the "stupid drunk" at a local bar.My friend and I pulled in to look at a very cool HD trike, drivin my street ftreak 56 straight axle car when this drunk says Dude I really like that restored 56 looks like all ya did was cragars right??....then he sees the straight axle and says WHATS THIS??,So I tell him thats 1956 truck front axle factory installed for all chevys going to alaska because of the bad roads,and its very rare! He looks at it and says oh yeah Ive heard about them but never seen one in real before............as he goes into the bar to tell his buddies about the chevy we left...............

 

Not really hamb related but it always gets a chuckle.

Ive been throwing stuff together since i was in highschool and building this or that to drive. Well a buddy of mine who has ALLLLL the good tools but no idea how to use them starts to build a chevy 4wd truck , says " its gonna make your old blazer look week " it never did but anyways....

SO he gets this truck together , slopped together 406 with some REALLY expensive transmision parts ,, 15 inches of lift on 38 inch boggers . Its tall , under powered and really expensive ...

So he comes out to the house one day and is bragging on this truck and how fast it will run , i say " man that thing isnt really built for speed , and those boggers wont balance" to which he replies ............... get ready

" ehh those boggers are balanced good enough from the factory, i lined it out on the highway the other day and put my g tech in the windshield , I shut it down at 175 mph because i started to feel a shimmy"

yeah , 3/4 ton 4wd chevy truck on 38's running 175 mph down a 2 lane highway ,,,, I hate it when dumb people try to impress me...... Apparently Ferrari and Chevrolet have been building thier sports cars all wrong , they need to look at the old 4wd trucks , live front axles and 38's are the true makings of a road racer LMAO.

 

I heard a guy one say at a car show...

"It's a shame that all of these cars have been cut up - They'd be worth so much more if they were restored"

Apparently he's watched too much Barett Jackson

 

Also saw someone lean against a car and put a nice little mark in it...

"Dont' worry, It'll polish right out!"

 

One i hear often, (hey those are aluminium pistons they are high performance stock are steel)

 

1986 at Odena Rd Dragstrip, Sylacauga AL. We bracket raced every week, a Vega comes in, Huge Blower, 2 carbs, 9" slicks. The car looks nice, 2 guys unload it and say"We are owning the track tonight boys!".............they quietly left when they couldn't get in the 8s (1/8 mile). My junk ran 8.60. peace

 

When I hear the top end stories I just say " Hey lets take that car to Bonneville cause we could set a national record" And incredibally the bullshit with some continues on.

 

I was told by an expert at a local cruise night that my 53 Buick Special should have a flathead inline 6 as his buddy had one an it was stock. So I musta modified mine....