What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Yeah but is it a 383 Hemi, my buddy had one of those in his 73 Charger!

 

A real good friend is into Mopars. We were out in his 70 Cornet with a strong built 440, guy walks up and says he had one but it had a 440 hemi. In his Duster at a gas station guy beside us argues with us about the car being a Nova. This happened a few times.

 

Years ago I filled the roof of a 32 coupe with a 63 Valiant SW roof skin the customer supplied, has some preety unique ribbs in it. Short time later I'm at one of the NSRA meets and here a Tudor with the same roof. A croud is around the car and someone asked what the roof was off of. The owner say "built it" and goes into all this detail how he rolled it on a wheel and put the ribs in with a bead roller. He got this real dumb look on his face when I told him he could of saved himself all that work and just used a 63 Valiant SW roof like that duece parked over there, pointing at the one I had done. Crowd laughs and walk away, owner is red faced and all of a sudden "busy" inside his car.
This clown I built a 36 Hudson for was telling everyone at a local show that he built it himself in his home garage. Stupid enough to show them pictures of it in progress, pictures taken in my shop, like none of the local rodders would notice that or had seen the car while I had it!

 

I dated a girl once who claimed someone had done all this work to her 2000-ish Dodge Neon.. I know O/T but I rode in the car and if it wasn't bone stock, I'm Britney Spears. Especially when she claimed to have some friend who did all these mods, NOS, turbo, all the tuner shit, for her, for free, without her having to fuck him or blow him to get it done. She was cute but she wasn't worth blowing thousands of dollars on to try to get into her pants - I passed on it - figured if she had to lie to try to impress me it wasn't worth my time. The next lies might be something like, "I'm on the pill" "Oh, don't worry, I don't have VD" "I love you" .. etc etc etc

 

EVERY car owner that has a perfectly beautiful paint job that swears there is absolutely no body filler.

 

Lots of idiots walking around at car shows and such so I dont let em rile me up. The most absurd claims I hear (read) about are on the two online boards I frequent. Here and 67-72chevytrucks. When a thread pops up about how fast have you been in a street car rolls around I just shake my head at some of the responses. And the other thread that gets me is the what did you drive when you were a kid threads...No one ever had a plain jane anything. Pretty much all anyone had was the super high performance versions.

 

This one Ot or not takes the cake! thats the best so far. . . .

 

I agree.
Thanks for the entertainment tonight.

 

This isn't quite in the vein of this thread but. Four years ago i was in LAX waiting for my wife's flight. A guy next to me was waiting as well. Both flights were delayed and we got to talking. He was telling me about hot lapping Riverside International Raceway in a car driven by "Dan". Not Dan Gurney. Just Dan. And Mario. And A.J. No surnames. Then he tells me he is a member of the Indy 500 club "but I never raced there." I'm thinkin' yeah yeah. Then he pulls out his wallet and takes out a fancy embossed card that read "Indy 500 member. Franklin Airheart". I about fell over! Hell of a nice guy with some great stories!

 

"Why l did you chop that? they are rare." A guy looking at my 48 at the Chevy truckin nationals with 40 other AD trucks sitting in the field around it in 1982. He didn't quite get it when I told him that there were still a great number of them in the county I live in being used as farm trucks at that time.

"I don't know what a quarter is but It will do 120 in three power poles, that is how we race where I come from. guy at a gas station when I asked him "what will it do in the quarter?"

The funny one was.

"this one is faster it will do 140", Ten year old looking at the speedometer in my 48 at a show. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it only had a 250 Six in it and would only do 75 down hill with a tail wind.

 

Heard from the "big man" about my rambler vert, "Ya know that's a Chev/mopar/ford (take your pic) engine in there... " "my Uncle had one just like it..."

 

A guy telling me how he had built his car when i had built it 10 years previously

 

While looking at a BW T5 transmission, a guy at the swap meet told me ....

"I put a 13 speed overdrive T350 in my Impala. 16 focken speeds man!!!
It had unlimited top end and broke the speedometer on the 1st run"

So not to be outdone, I told him...

"I bolted three Muncie 4 speeds together yeilding a 64 speed transmission.
But I never got it out of 9th gear because I was going way too fast"

His delayed reply...
"DUDE, I never thought of doing that"

 

A guy and a couple of his buddies walk up to my car at a show, they are looking over the engine and the guy starts telling his buddies how to identify a nailhead Buick. Points out a few things about the motor and as they move on he says to me "Nice Nialhead" I just smile and say thanks, didn't have the heart to tell the guy it was a 500 Cadillac.

 

Got in a conversation about cars with a guy and told him I once had Challenger with a 440 in it.

Him "Oh, so it had a Hemi"
Me "No, the 426 was a Hemi, the 440 was not"
Him "Nope, the 440 was a Hemi!
Me "Sigh!"

I could've sworn there were no Hemi heads on that engine when I rebuilt it! :

 

" It's got a Corvette cam..............."

 

"All those 'glass cars are just bolt-together-kit-cars."

 

I agree also every 302 is a boss motor .

I play pool with a guy who insist his stock 340 duster will do 14,000 rpm burnouts and not blow the motor same guy say a stock bodied 70 road runner was turning 8 sec quarters with a pretty stock 360 small block , stock balancer and all

 

Lmao , too funny

 

"That 92 octane gas gives me a lot more horse power" Have you ever tried to explain octane to someone? JC

 

Did a lot of street racing in the 90s. Built a Camaro (go figure) with a 468 on spray. Had an itch to spank this guys ZR-1 Vette also on spray. As I'm looking under his hood along with a large crowd some monkeyspank is going on n on about some hi tech bullshit that HE did for this guy and I knew better. I actually let him go on because I was in no mood to leave the Vette. See, as this jerk off is telling me all this shit I just keep sayin "yeah...uh huh...no shit?" and never looked his way. I was focused on the passenger in the Vette. She was fuckin gorgeous. Teal colored slip on mini dress...nice hair...beautiful face. The light in the parking lot was shining straight into the windshield, right in her lap, where it was in clear view...the promised land. Once she crossed her legs I moved on. About 10 other guys had seen what I did. We still talk about that night once in a while. I ended up racing Vette guy for free just to get another look or 2 at his girlfriend.

 

my favorite years ago i had a mild kustom 67 cutlass that was flamed from nose to tail pinksten flame job zillions of tips muli-color. At a local show guy with his kid, "yea son those are those stick on flames you can get from JC whitney" bout died laughing

 

Then try to explain that diesel has more btus than gasoline.
Been to that dance.

 

At a car show my brother had his 65 Bel Air and one guy had one "just like it but it had a Hemi"..........

 

Twice: guy tells his girl friend my 462" Buick engine in the 32 is a Hemi - neat and all this time I thought it was a wedge.

Lots o times: Izzat a kit car?

Latest: Got ambushed at the gun show (guy spotted my sweatshirt with a 37 Ford on the front) not even 20' inside the door:
Him, "Got one of those trucks?"
Me, "Nope, just a sweatshirt from Laughlin."

"Got a hot rod?"
Yes, black highboy 32 Ford roadster with black top.

"Oh, one of them kit cars."
"Nope, Wescott body, Deuce factory frame, Buick engine."

"They ought to outlaw them kit cars from shows."
"Think so? Ever build a roadster?"

"Nope, kit cars shouldn't be allowed."
"What do you run?"

"57 Ford with 460."
"Sounds nice, goin' to the Fun Run in May?"

"Yep, I always park next to my friend with the 8 second Studebaker he runs on the street."
"I've seen the car, it's a nice one."

"Yeah, it'll kick your roadsters butt."
"Maybe."

"Yeah, his car kicks everbody's butt.
"Funny that I haven't seen it at the races."

It went downhill from there, but I'm looking forward to the Fun Run car show.

Funny too, almost always these guys have a pal who has a faster car than whatever it is I'm driving.

Especially so back in the day when I'd pull into a gas station with my high 13's, flat 100 mph 50 Ford coupe with Rocket engine.
Finally lost my temper one day, told the guy to call up his friend, bring the car over and we'd race for some cash.

The back-pedaling was Olympic quality stuff.


Ladies almost always call my roadster cute.
S'ok, they're kinda cute their own selves.

Funniest one was when a guy wanted me to take his girl friend for a ride in the roadster.
Me bein a clown and always appreciative of a double entendre asked her if she wanted to go topless.

She looked at me sorta confused like, I explained, top up or top down on the roadster.
She thought about it for a few seconds, then turned it down.
I don't think she caught on to the joke factor.



I do get a lot of sensible guys who comment that they had a roadster once upon a time.
They are believable, mainly because the car wasn't a show winner, wasn't famous, wasn't the fastest car around, but was a lot of fun.

Had more than a few older ladies ask if the car had a rumble seat.
More than a few walked away smiling.

Best one in that vein, the gal asked about the rumble seat, when told that it did, she started smiling then turned red when she realized that I realized why she was smiling.

Then she grabbed my arm in a nice way and said, "I tell you sonny boy, I'm too stiff and creaky to do anything in a rumble seat nowadays, but I could tell you some stories."
She let go my arm, smiled nicely and walked away.

Looked to me like the good ol daze really were the good ol daze for her.

Saw her a couple more times that afternoon, she was still smiling....

 

WOW... getting caught saying some crap like that would be quite em-barris-ing....................

 

About 10 years ago we were having a cruise night at a local burger joint. I was doing the music and a buddy was directing traffic. This kid pulls up in a brand new "ricer" and my buddy tells him the spectator parking is in the adjacent lot. The kid says "why can't I park here?". My buddy explains that "this is reserved for the cruise-in cars". The kid spouts back "what the hell do you think this is, dumbass?" Well, my buddy takes a couple of steps back, slowly looks the car over from end to end and says "looks like a goddamn front-wheel-drive, cross-motored motherf**ker, and I said to park the thing in the spectator lot". The kid parked in the spectator lot.

Jim

 

So I stop in at an old roadside-former-filling-station-used gun shop-live bait-old car place just to admire a 40's mordoor Chevy he's got out front. Nicest guy you ever want to meet, hole in the esophagus indicates he's got a challenge with devil nicotine, hard to understand but my years of work in a hospital enable me to communicate with him well enough and for other moments there's a pad he keeps handy.

He proceeds to show me interesting rifles (my buddy Danny is the gun guy and I'm wishing he made this trip) I'm mildly interested, but it's not my bag. He then says, "I've got a Tucker in the Smithsonian." I read his lips, but asked him to write it out and he did the aforementioned quote. He then proceeds to pull out a scapbook of all inclusive home pictures of the Tucker including shots at his place and the Smithsonian...says it's on loan and they actually pay him to have it in there.

Flash forward, I can't even force myself to tell anybody because I'm wondering if they'll have me 'sent to the fifth floor'. My buddy Danny's in town and I say, "Hey, I've got someone for you to meet." At least one person knows I'm not full of hot air.

 

Where I grew up, we did some street racing. We had a strip that about 1.5 very straight miles and was very lightly traveled. Easy for the faster cars to have run out.

I had a Chevelle at the time that I readily admitted was just a nice cruiser, but every idiot used to ride my ass and signal me to head to the strip. It was a 350/M21 car with an open 10-bolt.

There was a local guy who was always tinkering with some really crappy car and basically would gut them and put as much motor in it as he could. He bought a 65 Nova shell and put a 350/350 combo in it. This thing was in three shades of primer, all jacked up with those old Mickey Thompson I Treads on it. It looked like a steam roller from the back.

All weekend long this dude harassed me - "I'll beat your Chevelle by at least 10 cars!" In front of large groups, I told him his car was faster than mine just to shut him up, but he was relentless. Finally I said let's go and get it over with just to shut him up.

We had three races. The first time, when I beat hime by a half car, he claimed he could not hook up, yet there was not a rubber mark anywhere near the start. A few older guys who came to watch said he didn't even spin the tires. The second time, he tied me b/c of a bad shift on my part. The third time, he called his friend in the tow truck b/c something made a loud bang as he launched. I won by a 1/4 mile.

The best part was that I had maybe $4500 into my Chevelle and it ran good, but was nowhere near fast. I think it may have been a high 14/low 15 second car. This douche bag claimed he had 10 grand into the engine and that the reason it puked on the line was b/c he the 15:1 compression was just too much for the street.

I still see the guy from time to time when I visit the area. He still gives me dirty looks even though both me and my car are long gone. Some folks are just laughable.

On another topic - sometimes, you do have to be patient with the senior set though. My dad has had plenty of fine cars - 47 Ford, 53 Merc, 4 57 Chevy's, etc. He remembers a lot about them, but sometimes he confuses what he had in them in conversations and such. Just remember, some of the old timers had some bad ass stuff but do not have the hard drive storage that they once did!!!

 

Stories like these is why I now typically drive my OT daily driver to a show, park in the spectator lot and enjoy the show.

It's fun to watch guys try and tell their pals or gal what my car is or what I've done to it. The guys "in the know usually" ask if it's original. I've given up, so I just answer "Absolutely. It was the sports model in '49". Why waste your time.

The best experience I had was when I was parked at a coffee shop when the local drunk stumbles by and slurs, "Nice shoebox. I like the Olds wheel surrounds. Have you got an overhead in there yet or are you still running the water heater". I had to pick up my jaw off the ground. If guys guess they're not stock, they pick '55 Chevy.