... you might be a HAMBer.

...if you understand the meaning of BTTT.
...you know what H.A.M.B. stands for.
...you have a burning desire to take your HA/DR to MoKan and race for fun.
...August in Western Utah has special meaning to you cause all of your Internet friends are going to meet you there.
...you understand what your friends from the Land of Oz said when they say they took the valise from the boot of the Holden and put it in the bed of the Ute.
...most of the cars you own are older than you are, even if you are older than dirt.
...you hunger after special chocolate chip cookies baked by a really nice lady from Michigan who you've never met.
...your favorite book is "How to Build a Traditional Ford Hot Rod" by two old, well respected guys.

 

... if cinder blocks and milk creates are your lawn furniture and jack stands

... if you spend more time cleaning your whitewalls than you do cleaning your house

... if duct tape and bondo serve the same purpose

... if your deepest thoughts have to do with changing your avitar

 

If you have more money tied up in rusted, greasy, grimy and dirty stuff than what you paid for your house. . .

If you think "late model" means anything built after 1965. . .

If you take pride in the fact you have gotten more than one "move it or we'll tow it away" warning letters from the city. . .

If your neighbors talk about you and call you "that guy" . . .



And yea,,, i DO set more faith in someone i know only as a "nickname" here on the HAMB than i do the majority of the people i know face to face. and yea, i HAVE hauled cars, parts, and tin for people i have never met, and ended up meeting some of the BEST freekin people on the face of the earth.

BAR NONE HAMBers rock... the rest just dont get it at all

 

if you would rather tear it up than be sitting still.................

i say that because friday night we went to the drag strip....i couldnt take it any more ....i got the 47 out there did a hellof a burn out ...and what ya know
snapped my damn axle and had to get towed home........oh well theres allways next weekend........

 

......if people lock their doors at the stop light.

.....if beer is a form of currency.

 

Beer is all things to all HAMBers... currency, bribe (think about the need to get a body off a frame ) gift, curse (sunday morning after the HAMB drags. . .) and cure. (friday morning the day BEFORE the drags,,, ask Tman)

 

-people ask you what the big deal is about the number 32.
-the word Moon means more to you than just some big rock in the sky
-you know who kenny howard is.
-old car parts serve as decoration around your house or in the yard.

 

...if you buy a new project with the money you had set aside to get your other ride back on the road.

...if you dream about the swap meet.

...if you can't go to sleep at night because you can't stop thinking about what you need to get done in the garage that weekend.

...if you just spent an hour looking through hot rod mags with your 6 year old Son to get ideas for the new project.

...If you get the same Boy to help build his own mini bike. Flat black with red wheels and a Chevy orange Briggs ans Stratton so "it will be like Daddy's truck"

...if you are sitting at your comp. at 10:55 typing this s**t when you have to get up and work in the morning.

 

If you think an S-10 chassis is the only way to go.

If you have an english wheel, but not a washing machine.

If you have the cheapest Pep Boys tires because they grind good for www's.

If you're garage is bigger than your house.

If you get the shits when you hear you're car won a Boyds pick.

 

...if you bring a beer to a job interview. Somehow I was thinkin' of 'lil Mike when I wrote that. 'prolly cause I just saw his commercial today.

 

primadonna.

 

.....If your 12 year old son asks if his new wheel cair painted flat with traditional flames......"sniff, sniff, tear, tear"

....If that same kid wants his wheelchair accessible van to have a flame thrower kit installed on it.


....If more than half of these posts describe you.....

 

... if you can't tell the difference between the stuff in your garage and the stuff in your house; or

...if you live in your garage and wonder what people need a house for? ...

(working on a bike or car parts in your kitchen or living room also applies).

...if you have more projects in progress or lined up than you can keep track of in your head at once

...if your keyboard has grease stains on it

...If you drive off 200 miles to Niagara Falls... only see the crappy "keep the doors locked" side of downtown, never see the falls... alone... to pick up some old parts....

....If you go off on vacation to Indiana and take time to wander a junkyard there, along with the Brickyard and IRP and a side trip up to Gas City

....If you've been all over your home state.. visiting junkyards.. and brought cars home from most of them... and they all know you by name...

... If it's a personal offense when neighbors/town hassle you for that old car in the driveway... and you have plates on at least one car that can't be driven...

...If the car that can't be driven still looks nicer than your daily....

...If you hate eBay, but use it anyways because you can't find that crap anywhere else

...If you look at a car with frame rot and rusted floors and holes all over and think "I could have that all fixed up with a little work" ....


A lot of those apply to me, anyways. And my one buddy in the winter closes his house and sleeps in his block house, it's cheaper to keep warm in. Complete with several motorcycles, a '55 Chevy stock car, '32 Chevy stock car and a '29 Essex roadster.....

 

If you lay in bed almost every night running plans in your head about the HA/GR that you are building, tossing and turning, when you have to get up at 0430 to go to work.

 

...If your idea of 'therapy' is Junkyard Day, you just might be a HAMBer

....If the Yard Po'Lice know you by your first name, you just might be a HAMBer

...If people checkin' out your car at a cruise ask what it'll look like when it's finished and you tell 'em that you consider it finished, you just might be a HAMBer

....If you read OSR with a flashlight in the middle of the night 'cause it's uncool to admit to liking it, you just might be a HAMBer

.....If you consider black 'Hot Rod' primer the official American Racing Color, you just might be a HAMBer

Jan

 

...you roll up next to a new mopar and in your old mopar and don't ask if its got a hemi in it...

...you have more pics of your cars past/present/future than you do of your family, those of your family have atleast one car in the pic...

...big holes in the frame are to "lighten it"...

...gas fumes, exhaust, and that burning oil smell DON'T bring tears to your eyes...

...yes it is original...

...fun is driving to Modesto knowing that you might not make it back, and when all it wont get home cause the harmonic balancer fails at 2000 hours Sunday night in Stockton you sit out in front of the Autozone and drink beer and play rat fucker and the cops drive right by, turn the lights on you and shake thier heads and leave...

...the funniest stories all have a scar attached to them...

...you expend brain cells to come up with a cool signature...

...your boss makes you park in the dirt lot outside the fence 'cause your car leaked oil in his parking spot and he stepped in it...

...you don't know why you are bleeding all over everything...

...your desk top has a pic of the "purple people eater" and everyone asks wtf...

...you own a set of slugging wrenches...

...have ever cut your self on a cotter key...

...you get to work early to read the HAMB and post stupid shit...

 

If you find car pieces and or tools in places they shouldn't be......like your makeup case then you just might be.........


When your boss tells you to park BEHIND the building because your car is unsightly.............

When someone at Famoso hands you a fallen exhaust piece and exclaims IT MUST BELONG TO ONE OF YOU........

When the County Inspector refuses to ticket you for your troop of CLASSIC AUTOS. .........

When you go to the mall to meet Santa with a wish list, but don't take your kids.........

xxx

 

...if you have ever been on fire and kept welding, only to call the kids to put you
out with a Supersoaker.

...if grinding is fun.

...if Gay is Cool.

 

Is this better or worse than keeping wrenches in your purse?....

Jan

 

Let's see....My boss demanded that I not drive 'that car' to work anymore (I still do), I have three pets named after cars and/or parts, my car is finished cuz I can drive it, I couldn't sleep last Fri cuz on Sat, I was running electricity to the garage, I work at a Chevy dealer in the parts dept but own more Ford parts than GM, I never get sick of telling stories of my car(s), and all my tats are hot rod related.

Do I qualify?

 

.....if while sitting on a conference call to discuss a million dollar construction problem you are cruising through the classifieds looking for a good deal on a project.

.....If you have pinstriping art in you office.

.....If there is a flathead sitting in the back of your warehouse.

.....If your boss tells you about the COMPLETE 3x2 Offy set up he had for a flathead sitting on his shelf at home that he GAVE to a friend a couple of years ago brings tears to your eyes.

.....If you hide car parts at work to keep your wife happy.

 

... if you letter "it IS done" on the back of your car...

... if someone on the board needs help and you stop EVERYTHING to try and help out...

... if "too low" is not in your vocabulary...

... if you think anything looks better with a straight axle...

... if you see an ice cream truck and immediatly think it needs hydraulics...

... someone says Nads and you think of our buddy in Florida and not your junk...

... if "one man's junk is another mans treasure" isn't a cliche' but a way of life...

... if someone put a 'honk if parts are falling off' sticker on your hot rod and they weren't joking...

... if you have ever put a "this vehicle is not abandoned" sign in your car after you have parked it...

... if after 2 years on the road, rust still falls off you car...

... if you've read this far in one sitting...

... if more people know you by your alter-ego/screen name than your real name...

... if you ever picked a fight with someone 7 states away...

... if Plowboy turns you on...

... if someone says "that A that starts fights" and you know exactly what car they are talking about...

... if you remember how many pages the "women of the H.A.M.B. calendar" post went...

... if you miss Germ and his ramblings AND maybe even understood one or two...

 

You might be a HAMBer if...

your reply is, No- It's not a kit.

when they ask you, "what do you do when it rains?" and your answer is, "get wet".

you brag about the scar on your stomach from leaning on a hot weld or the time you had rust drilled out of your eyeball.

 

You might be a HAMBer if...

You and your car has to have rust removed...

You use the internet for the latest updates and pics of other peoples projects instead of looking at porn..

If you have grease under your finger nails and dont care to remove it.

If people stop by your house thinking its a salvage yard..

If you were ever pulled over by a cop because he wanted to know about your car..

If your friends can hear you coming from 3 blocks away and/or if you are running uncorked that day..

If you know what uncorked means...

If you wear steel toed boots to work at your desks job..

If you tell your girlfriend/wife that you want to go for a romantic drive on your day off, and you stop by atleast on junk yard, or field to look at some cars..

Jonney

 

What do you mean uncorked? I never cork mine up!

 

lol, I tried wording if differently but it didnt sound right. The best sound in my book is uncorked or straight header.

Jonney

 

... if you daily drive your car and poeple ask what happens when it snows and you say go sideways

... if they wonder where the door handles are and how you get in

... if the colored folk in your town ask "that got hydraulics"

... if your vacations are based on what shows are out of state this summer

... if your girlfriend reads the hamb when shes bored in class

... if your girlfriend wants to trade in her toyota for a 54 olds

... if you drive on the wrong side of the road to avoid potholes so nothing falls off

... if you have enough parts in your trunk to build a car

... if zippy ties and duct tape are a member of your toolbox

 

If it's 105 F outside and you won't spend the $800 bucks to fix the air conditioning in your Nissan because you know how many car parts that will buy for your roadster project

 

You might be a HAMB'er of you drink PBR? I'd rather eat a dog turd than drink PBR.....well maybe not a dog turd, and if the PBR was free.....no, I'd rather eat a dog turd.