you might be a hotrodder if....(humor)

YES....Town car.

 

you cant sleep at night because all you think about is the car you wish you had and what you would do to it.

you wish you were a teenager in the 50s.

 

Bruce Lancaster wins!

 

your wife asks you why can't you tell its junk before you bring it home?......and you park her new car outside and put the junk in the garage.....why am I single?

 

Your "dress" pants only have ONE grease stain........

You carry around a piece of soapstone.....just in case....

 

or you find some useless old car part in the trash or desert and take it home because you think its cool. all the planters around my house have old pistons and what not in them.

 

Your wife routinely asks how many cars You own, right now.
the last time she asked was less than a month ago.

You leave early for a car show because You are driving through "Uncharted Junkyard territories"

You can figure out if a 55 chevy in a feild with grass up to the door handles is a 2 door, 4 door, hardtop or post at 60 miles per hour in a rainstorm.

You have scared the shit out of Your wife by yelling "stop" while driving, then ask her to back up slowly so You can better make out what car is in the back yard of a house You just passed-through a privacy fence.

every car You own is in some state of "project"- and bigger, bolder plans lay in the future.

10 to 1 is a relatively low compression engine.

You aren't even sure if Your car will run on anything other thn premium, because You have never bothered to find out.

A dead relative is a bummer, but a cracked block is a tragedy.

every repair will only take "a couple hours"- which frequently yurns into "a couple days" followed by "a couple months". You will, of course, miss all these deadlines for a year.

a car that starts easy is only a 4 to 5 minute adventure. a hard starter takes 20.

You finally got around to recycling your wasted radiator pile, and You and Your business partner came home 300 dollars richer.

You have a stash of know good gas tanks because You know You can fit them in a minimum of 10 different model and make of automobile. None of these gas tanks , of course, came from said models or makes.

You have spent more time studying steering geometry than You did for the s.a.t.'s.- or any other test, for that matter.

Your typical conversation with a buddy makes You sound like You have invented some new form of speech which uses more numbers than words.
(What's in that 31? is it a 352, 331, or a 392? cool. Yep, six 97's. is that an 883? no? an m-22? kick ass! probably better on the road with a t-5.yeah, but with the 16's and 30 inch tall rubber, it could cruise alright. what's the ratio? 5oh's? jesus...must be around 4 grand at 60....)

You can tell a car joke that exactly 5 people will get.

I could do this for hours.

 

You have to eat dinner on the floor because you don't want to rearrange the carb and rebuild kit strewn about on the kitchen table.

 

...when the lottery numbers you play all relate to your favorite motors.

 

Oh Man!!!!!!!! That actually happened to me!!!!!!!!

My Dad's old buddy died.....who was that?, you know,the old truck painter with the all original 1954 Ford.........I pipe up and say..that's sad...."I wonder what's going to happen with that Ford?"

 

When you get into your daily ride and have to open and shut your door quickly thinking that the lake pipes are gonna burn the paint on the door.

 

you NEVER have to ask what kind of car is this unless it is really obscure, and even then you can narrow it down to 3 or less makes, and guess the year + - 2 years

even when you haven't worked on anything for 3 days you get greasy fingerprints on the cheese when you make a sandwich.

you have at least one item with a RAT FINK on it

you have more stained and dirty shirts that clean ones

 

You get worried if your car stops making those squeeks and rattles.

 

decker, you spying on me????????????????????
Tom

 

You might be a hotrodder if....

You are going to a wedding and you paint your engineer boots with Krylon gloss black, 'cuz that's the only pair of shoes you own.

You have 3 roll-aways full of tools but are damned if you can find ONE 3/8" drive 9/16" socket.

You only get a haircut only when its long enough to be run over with the creeper wheels.

You drive unregistered cars all over the place using a "dealer" plate that you found on the side of the highway.

 

you only have 1 out of 4 cars with a muffler, no radios or power steiring, and you cant help buying 1 more of yer favorite car, even when you already have 4 of them.
people you dont know call to sell you more oldsmobiles!! yer best buddys cant even
tell you what engine you have in what car on what day (455,400,350,chevy,olds,pontiac,buick). you want to buy a cam to hear it! you want to buy some funky old junk engine just to here it run. you want a reson to build a international 345 to put in a hodrod with a M farmall grill shell ,maybe gas tank and fenders !!! im just not right!!??!! er am I??
later cobey j c

 

you keep your life events in chronological order by which car you where driving at the time.

you constantly wish your shop was just 3ft wider.

the UPS man hates coming to your house, because you always hug him when he shows up.

now matter how many projects you have your always looking for old cars.

 

... You help your grandfather age a picture for a geneology project by ID'ing a car in it... Real story, it's a 1914 Hudson Phaeton.

 

Looks a little like the '38 Nash my folks had when I was a kid...
Fearless

 

1938 La Salle


You might be a hotrodder if you get chills during the movie Cars when doc hudson goes for a spin on the oval track.

 

you have been evivted from one or more houses for too many vehicals.

(for us younger guys with no house) your mom yells at you at least once a week to sell some cars.

your in a constant battle of less sleep or getting more done on your project. work always wins.

 

you were so excited to finally get your own house so you could organize your garage the way you wanted, and after it was done you realized if you could move the cabinets a little this way, the FULL SIZE fridge that way, you could pull an extra project in for the winter and work on two cause you are bored.

 

they've hit me up for parts before..

 

this happened to me this year, not krylon brand but, i had some evercoat rage on my boots, along with epoxy primer, i was almost late becuase i wanted to get primer on before i left, had a 30 second shower and grabbed a rattle can of black to clean my boots.
ofcourse the groom had driven his 59 zephyr wagon instead of getting a lift and drinking.
I was 1 hour late for my own wedding, fortunately my bride was too, the day before i had to paint one of the wedding cars and the next morning was spent buffing and reassembling. fortunately the guests were understanding and the reception was great becuase the carpark looked like a car show.
and when i had no car off the road i kept my hair pretty neat and a clean shave but now that the car is off the road i only go to work or parts suppliers so any money saved on haircuts is more money for parts and materials, its only been 4 years and yep, i get it cut when i get sick off it tangling in the creeper wheels, a few times i have been in a situation were going forwrds or backwards on the creeper just pulls harder.

 

you have a 3 car attached garage, a 26x 60 shop/garage ,a 30x80 pole building a 25 x50 storage shed...two garages at the lake place.... you have 13 cars sitting outside including your daily driver because there is no room and you are thinking about keeping the one for sale currently listed on craigslist cuz ... heck that ones stored inside already

 

you think it's a sign that the phone number of the girl you just met starts with 403...we're married now

i was reading some of these off to her last night and she was rolling her eyes. then she looked at the offy intake on the wall above the tv, and old military trunk in the corner full of hot rod parts. she didn't even mention the 1 1/2 rooms in the basement mostly full of car parts and a minibike

 

...in the BASEMENT?

Dude, I keep my '64 Honda Dream in the LIVING ROOM.

~Jason

 

You have at least one old gas station sign or street sign hanging in your garage.

 

You Mock and assemble your Model A front Axle and suspension in your living room because its too cold out in the shop..

Danimal got a kick out of this last year.

 

...every load of laundry you do has at least one H.A.M.B. t-shirt in it.




JOE